Love of a Lifetime
by Hannahg38
Summary: Arabella Rogers was a simple kind of girl of 1939. Being the only sister of a frail Steve Rogers, she was used to taking care of him. All the while dealing with his best friend Bucky. When they both are off fighting the war, she gets kidnapped by a strange man, only to wake up years later in 2015 with memories of being tortured and used. Can she get back to the person she once was?
1. Chapter 1

In all my years I had never pictured my life turning out like this. I'd had always thought that I would just grow up, find a nice man to marry, settle down and have kids. A simple life. I never dreamed of anything big, I really just wanted someone to take care of me. I grew up without parents in most of my teen years, and although I had an older brother he was frail; he couldn't do much to take care of us by himself. In those times it was unheard of for a women to be the sole caregiver of her family, but I tried my best anyways. I wasn't going to let us live in the streets just because society saw it unfit for me to work. I was born in 1923 to Sarah and Joseph Rodgers. I was the younger of two siblings, my brother being born 1920. I don't remember my father, but I was told he had died when I was still too young to remember. My mother raised us the best she could, it was especially hard for her considering the times.

When my brother, Steve, was 16 and me 13, our mother fell ill with pneumonia and died shortly after. It was a shock for us both and we didn't know what to do. I remember thinking how sickly my brother was, and that he wouldn't be able to provide for us at all. It was a mean thought, but I didn't seem to care because we had nobody left in our family. We didn't have much money as it was, our parents were very poor. Lucky for us our landlord was very kind and lenient so he let us continue to live in the apartment as long as we helped around the building. I would cook and clean for his family, while Steve would take payments and give eviction notices. The landlord knew that Steve wouldn't be able to do any hard jobs, so he gave him the paperwork, Steve was very smart and could do those jobs fast. We didn't have much to eat, but we didn't worry about that because we would always go over to Bucky's' house. James Buchanan Barnes, he was Steve's absolute best friend. They loved each other like brothers and always seemed to act like it too.

Mrs. Barnes loved us both so when she heard that our mother had died she let us know that we were always invited to eat at their house. Bucky and I had different relationship then him and Steve. It's not that we didn't like each other, we did get along just fine, but I always thought Bucky to be cocky and arrogant; even when we were younger. So we spent a lot of our time together arguing, but it wasn't serious, we never were really mad at one another. I guess as we grew older and we spent more time with Bucky I developed some feelings for him. Bucky never even realized, he was just caught up so much in other girls and having fun I guess. When the war came in 1939 and Bucky enlisted it didn't take me by surprise, and when Steve tried it didn't surprise me either. Those were just the kind of guys they were. I was heartbroken though, my secret love was leaving and my only family was trying to leave me too. Knowing that Bucky was going to be shipped off to war, we all spent the last of our time together before he left. After a very short two weeks, the day came when he had to leave. We all stood on the docks, a huge boat behind Bucky and people swarming all around us, telling loved ones goodbye.

"We're going to miss you buck." Steve reached out to put his hand on Bucky's' shoulder. Buck didn't say anything just gave us a small timid smile. He pulled Steve in for a last hug, and turned to me. I looked at him wearing his brown uniform, hat on his head, green duffel bag thrown over his shoulder.

"You better come back to me in once piece Mr. Barnes." I gave him a very serious look.

"Yes ma'am." I willed myself not to cry at his reply, he knew I hated it when he called me ma'am. He took his last chance at bothering me. In his own way his reply had been very sweet. I took a step forward to hug him tightly, putting my arms around his waist. He reciprocated and held me to him. I slightly took a step back after a minute only to put my hand on his cheek. I stared into his eyes, and rubbed my fingers lightly against his cheek. There was a small surprised look in his eyes, but I didn't say anything as I dropped my hand from his face and took another step back to stand with Steve and loop my arm through his. Bucky stared at me a moment longer, an odd look in his eyes, he look away and then nodded to Steve and I. He turned away from us and walked up to board the ship. We watched him walk all the way up, and he stood near the rails. The ship started to move and we waved our hands out to him, telling him goodbye. He waved back just the same, and we waited till the ship was too far for us to see him any longer before we both made our way home.

* * *

Trying to live life without Bucky constantly being around was much harder than I thought. All the things that he did to annoy me, I started to miss. I wrote him a few letters while he was gone, I sent him a care basket. He replied to me and told me how it was going. He never mentioned the moment on the dock, and neither did I. I felt it was best to be left unspoken. I assumed he did too. Steve kept trying to join, and I never told him anything. I didn't necessarily agree with him wanting to join in, but I knew no recruiter in his right mind would let him join. So I didn't worry too much about it. But when he became very adamant about going, I knew I had to say something. One day while I was making a small batch of cookies Steve came through the door, upset about being declined once again. I knew this because he always had the same look in his face every time they did. I didn't say anything at first, until he sat down at the counter right in front of me.

"Steve why do you keep doing this to yourself?" I spoke with out looking up from the bowl that I was mixing the batter in. I heard him sigh a deep sigh.

"I..i just think that I could be a good use to the army Arabella, I mean I know I don't look much. But I have a lot of other things to offer too." I stopped stirring and placed both hands on the counter in front of me. I looked Steve in the eye.

"You know they're not going to listen to that, all they see is what's on the outside. There is no looking for what you can offer, it's if you have the muscle to fight. I know you want to join Bucky and it's a good thought. But Steve you just aren't made for that kind of work." I looked over him. He was my height, 5'2, he barely weighed 105 with clothes on and wet. I saw his face, he was upset at my words. I quickly ran over to his side, and pulled him into my arms.

"You are the only family I have left right now. I can't lose you too!" I felt tears pool in my eyes, Steve was everything to me. My only brother. I felt him stir and pull back, he wiped away the tears from my face before speaking.

"You won't lose me too Arie."


	2. Chapter 2

It had been six months since Bucky left. Steve and I tried not to count the days, but it was too hard to ignore. Every time there was a letterin the mail from him, we'd feel relieved, it was proof that he was still alive and fighting. I thought about the last letter he had sent, it was light hearted. More so then the others he had send before, it was kind of odd he hadn't been happy like that since he was home. I shrugged it off thinking that it must be just a good day for him. I was in my room sitting on a chair by the window, my blue and red laced dress hanging over the back of the chair. I was in my underwear, I hadn't expected anyone today; Steve was out doing odd jobs for people, so I had the day to relax and read a good book by now it was more into the afternoon, telling me that I had spent most of my day sitting in a chair. I heard front door open, and listened intently for footsteps. I grabbed my dress and pulled it to my chest. If it was just Steve id tell him that wanted time to myself and he wouldn't enter my room. But if he had brought a guest with him I'd have to go and help host.

"Arie! Come on out, there is someone who wants to see you." I rolled my eyes at his call, there is only one person who wanted to see me lately, and that was a cleaning boy from the bar. He was very persistent with me, always telling me that he deserved a date with me. I was very much fed up with his demands, so much that I didn't care if I was rude at some points.

"If it's that boy Aaron tell him I'm not in the mood for his advances!" I hear him chuckle at my statement.

"Well lucky for you it's someone very different from him. But I think he annoys you the same." Now I was confused. I quickly pulled my dress over my head and yanked it down to slip it on faster. I sprinted over to my door, and pulled it open. Walking around the corner I tried to calm my nerves. My eyes widen when I see who was standing in my living room.

"Bucky!" I stopped in my tracks. There he was, standing there with a huge grin. His blue eyes cocky and teasing. I quickly ran over to him, and threw myself into his arms.

"Hey there doll." He wrapped his arms around me, one on my head the other on the middle of my back. This hug was different from the others he gave me, usually he'd wrap both arms around my shoulder and quickly let go. But this time he held on, even pulling me tighter in. I felt my heart beating quickly and my stomach going into knots. I pulled away and looked up at him, expecting him to release me from him hold, he just kept him hands on my shoulders. I finally spoke,

"James Buchanan Barnes! Why didn't you tell me you were coming home?" he shrugged with a smile on his face.

"It's only for a short time, I'm on a month leave then it's back to the battle field for me."

"Well at least you can come home at all, that's all that matters." He stared down into my eyes,

"Your right about that Arabella." He told me in a soft tone, I didn't know his to react to the tenderness he was giving me. So I just laughed lightly and pulled away to step out of his hold. I turned to Steve giving him my best glare, he gulped before giving me a silly smile.

"So that's why you've been so excited these past few days! I can't believe you didn't bother to tell me, I didn't even make anything or clean the apartment properly. I wasn't even dressed."

"Now Ara, I did tell him to makes it a secret so we could surprise you." I gave Bucky an unimpressed look.

"Well I can't stay mad, we only have a certain amount of time with you. Let's enjoy it."

"I very much agree with you Aries." I sent Steve my best smile.

"Alright so I say we go out and celebrate." Bucky declared to us, Steve and I nodded in agreement. He offered me his arm.

"If I may Ms. Rogers." I giggled at him and took his arm.

* * *

We all sat at a high top table in the Bucky's favorite bar. I sat on Bucky's left and Steve on his right, each having a beer in our hands. It was already later in the afternoon when buck had come home, and by now we had been sitting here drinking and talking for quite a while. Now it was night time and many people were in the establishment. I sat silent listening to Steve tell Bucky of what had been going on since he had been gone. I let my eyes roam around the room, sipping my beer every few seconds. My eye caught sight of someone I was desperately trying to avoid. Aaron. I did not want him coming over to us and try to ask me out. It would just ruin the mood for me. Just as I turned my head to look away, I saw from the corner if my eye him turning my way. Great. Now I knew he was going to come over here.

"Arabella!" I heard Aaron yell, I just closed my eyes, willing him away. He approached our table, standing directly in front of me. I slowly turned my head to him, I hear Bucky and Steve grow quite. Aaron spoke.

"I didn't know you were coming out tonight."

"Yeah well that's kind of the point."

"Oh come on don't be like that. All you have to do is go on a date with me, what harm could it do?" I felt Bucky tense beside me, which was strange in itself. Was Aaron asking me out upsetting him? I shook away those thoughts. Why would he even care? He never has before. Even if I wished he did.

"No Aaron I don't know how many time I have to tell you."

"Well you wouldn't if you just said yes instead." He remarked to me with a smirk. I rolled my eyes at his arrogance.

"Go away!" he didn't even listen to me, instead he reached forward to touch my face. I leaned back as far as I could. Just as he was about to make contact, a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"The lady said to leave, let's do the right thing and leave pal." Aaron stared at Bucky for a moment, gave one last look at me and walked away.

"He really is annoying Aries" Steve complained.

"You're telling me" I scoffed at his remark. I look to my left, and I see Bucky in deep thought. Okay, he was not acting like himself tonight. He would usually give me a smart remark and get on my nerves about this. Then there's the fact he hasn't even approached a girl since we've been here.

"Well I finished my drink boys, how about we head back to the apartment and I can make something to eat?" they both said words of agreement and we were off. As we walked I felt a gaze on my face, but I never turned to meet it. I knew for a fact my brother wasn't the once staring at me, and I really wouldn't know how to react to my other companion eyes. We reached the apartment and I opened the door. Bucky held the door and motioned for us to head inside, Steve went in first, and I walked directly behind him. I felt a hand on the small of my back leading my inside, I almost jumped when I felt Bucky place his hand there. I just keep walking towards the kitchen, all of his actions since he arrived have been confusing. He's never acted like this towards me before, I'm not opposed to his advances. I just don't understand why, all of the sudden, I'm on the receiving end of them. I enter the kitchen and look through our food. Which seemed to be nonexistent, the only thing we actually had to eat was a cake I made yesterday. I decided that the cake was just going to have to be enough, I put 3 pieces on separate plates and brought it out to the living room. I handed each of the boys a plate before sitting down on the long sofa, on the opposite side of Bucky Steve decided to take the recliner chair.

We all talked for a while before my eyes started to close on their own. Shaking myself awake, I looked to the guys, both of them in deep conversation with each other. I thought about the past, how for many years, I wished that Bucky would smile at me a certain way, that one smile that makes the room light up and everyone around him find themselves in a great mood. Or maybe he'd put his arms around me as we walked. I never told him how I felt because I was afraid he was just tell me I was cute, then brush me off completely. I shook my head from these thoughts, I was going to upset anyone tonight with one of my moods. I decided not to interrupt them and got up quietly. Taking the route to my room, I opened the door, changed my clothes and plopped down on the bed falling into a 'what if' dream.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: Hey I just wanted to thank crystalinowl, gandalf537, cate, Nightcrawlerfw, Digidestined10 and guest for reviewing. It meant** **a** **lot!**

Standing in the kitchen, I made a pot of coffee enough for three. Last night Bucky decided to stay another the night, he had stayed the night for three nights now. Each morning I would get a weird greeting from him, a kiss on the cheek, an extra-long hug, even a kiss on the forehead. Those times I just let it go, blaming it on him being away for so long, I didn't want to read into too deeply. If I did that I could just end up hurting myself in the process. Humming my favorite tune, I waited for the coffee to boil. Suddenly hands slipped around my waist and I was pulled against a hard chest. Knowing it couldn't be Steve, this man was much taller then I, I felt my body become stiff.

"Good morning doll."

"….morning Bucky." He nuzzles his nose into my neck, and at that moment I couldn't take the weird actions from him any longer.

"Okay what's going on with you Bucky?" I turn to him and push him away from me as I ask him.

"Nothing Arabella, I just missed you a lot."

"Right but you've missed me before and still have never hugged me like you did just now." He stared at me for a long moment and ran a hand through his hair contemplating something in his head. He sighed reached forward and grabbed my hands in his.

"Look Arabella, I did a lot of thinking while I was gone, and all my thoughts came back to you. You were always there for me throughout the years. When my mom died and when I get into trouble. And then you were there for me during my time in the field too. You always sent letters. I survived off of those letters, they were the only thing that kept me going. I just…I want to be with you. And I want you to wait for me, so when I come back we can start a life together. Because I really can't see myself committing to another girl the way I could commit to you" My eyes widened in shock, I never thought I would hear those words from his mouth, I had waited and dreamed about this moment for years. I felt myself become unsure of it. Could he be saying this because I was the first girl he saw when he came back? But then again he had six months to really think about all of this. Feelings stirred in my chest, the ones that I had suppressed for him. I stared at our hands joined together. Finally I looked up at him.

"Okay."

"What?"

"I'll be with you, and I'll wait for you." I told him in a timid voice. He smiled big at me and hugged me real tight. The coffee started to bubble, so I laughed and stepped toward the stove. I heard Bucky laugh with me, this morning was perfect.

Before we knew it had been almost the whole month. We all spent every moment together, Bucky acted extra sweet to me. Kissing me at every moment, turning all the other girls down, not even giving them a second glance. He took me on a picnic and a swim at the beach. To a movie and the diner multiple times, most of the time we'd bring Steve with us. Steve loved us together, saying that Bucky would officially be his brother. He always made me laugh when he said that. I thought about my older brother and found I was missing Steve greatly.

When we all went out on the town one night, Steve went and tried to join the army once again. Only this time he wasn't sad when he came back, they took him. I was completely devastated, I screamed at him and cried in his arms, asking how he could leave me like that. I didn't want to be all alone, and I didn't want him going to war and being in danger. He only held me and told me he was going to be fine, and that he would come back to me eventually. So he left a week later, he apologized to Bucky for not being able to sound more time with him, but he said he had a duty to his country. Bucky understood, it was one of the same reasons he had joined too. When we saw Steve off he held strong and stood tall as he was hauled off to training, by this time Bucky only had a week left, I was feeling it all at once. I just hoped that I wouldn't be alone in the end. When the end month came, I could feel my heart sink. I didn't want Bucky to leave me too. He and I were laying in the couch, handing entwined, and my head on his chest.

"Bucky I don't want you to go back."

"I know doll, I don't want to go back either. But I have to, I made a commitment to my country and I'm going to follow it through." My heart swelled at his words. I looked up at him, tears in my eyes. He used his free hand to catch them, and he kissed my cheeks.

"I love you James." He stilled.

"I love you too Arabella." I gave him a wide smile, and moved my head up to lock lips with him. Giggling when he put in hand in my hair. With foreheads pressed together, eyes staring into eyes, Bucky said words that I didn't know I was even ready for.

"Let's get married." I stared at him just for second to see if he was serious, there was determination in his eyes. So I agreed with pleasure, if he was going to leave me again, I wanted to be his wife before he left.

The ceremony was quick and small, perfect to me. Steve wasn't there, he had already left and although that upset me, I didn't let it stop me from marrying the man that I loved. We didn't have any family to join us, Mrs. Barnes had died two years ago from sickness much like my mother. We decided to get married the night before Bucky was due back on the ship. We loved our rushed little wedding, and when night came, we spent our last night together.

The next day he was due to leave. But this time was much harder than the last. Hugging him goodbye, kissing him with everything that I had, and standing alone as he got onto the ship. Waving him a goodbye once last time and him waving back too. Tears pouring down my face as he left me, not as my friend, but as my husband. This time I didn't leave the port once I couldn't see him anymore. I just stood there, watching the ship till I couldn't even see it anymore. Then I stood there longer. I had never felt as alone as I had in the moment. No Steve by my side. No Bucky. Just me. It was a terrifying feeling. But I couldn't even sob, I just stared; wondering if this feeling was going to be forever, and praying that they would both come home soon.

It had been a month since they both left, I hated the silence, and feeling cold. I couldn't eat much, nor did I have the desire too. I sent them both letters, and I only got a reply from my husband once. Lately I have been feeling eyes watching me, stalking me. I try to pay no mind to it and live normally, but it's becoming too much and I lock the deadbolt every time I step into my apartment.

Tonight something felt very off, so I made sure all the windows were locked. Every lock on the door pulled in. I even locked my own bedroom door too. I hid a kitchen knife under my pillow, clutching it in my hand tightly. I tried to sleep but I couldn't even close my eyes. Then I heard it. Each lock to the front door being opened, I tried to convince myself it was Steve, but I knew it couldn't be true, they wouldn't let him come back for at least another five months. I started to shake in fear, anticipation as I heard heavy footsteps coming closer to my bedroom door. I gripped the knife tighter. Eyes wide, never leaving my door. The lock clicked open, slowly the door was opened wide. A man whom id have never seen before stared me down. I tried to scream but my voice was caught in my throat. He made large, fast paced footsteps towards me. He reached over to grab my arm and I took the knife in my hand and sliced his chest. It wasn't deep, but it stunted him enough for me to be able to jump off the bed and try to run from the room. I wasn't fast enough, he grabbed me by my hair and yanked me down. He pulled my hair up forcing me to stand up to walk. He took me down stairs and threw me in a car parked just outside the building, it was the dead of night. No one else was around. I hit my head on the door of the car being thrown in, and I fought to stay awake. Soon darkness had taken over me.


	4. Chapter 4

**2015 New York**

I opened my eyes slightly before closing them right away. The room was too bright. The music a little too loud for me, my head was pounding hard. I groaned. I wish they would just turn it off. I hear a door slide open, and a lady speak to me.

"Ms. Rogers? I know that you're tired, but I need you to sit up so I can check your vitals and make sure everything is all good."

I successfully opened my eyes this time, I turned my heads towards the voice. She was wearing a nurse uniform one that I was used to seeing. But there was something off about her entirety. Was this a mind game? Another one of the doctors who kidnapped me playing jokes on me now? Trying to get me to trust them? I have never seen this lady before, I knew all the doctors and nurses at that torture place. She wasn't one of them.

"Who are you and how do you know my name?" my tone of voice must've scared her because she flinched a little when I spoke. My throat was scratchy too, I really needed water. She sensed it because she went to the side of my bed and pour me a glass of water. I gulped it down greedily.

"I'm one of the nurse who work here, I just need to make sure you're alright." She reached out to take my arm, I quickly wrapped my fingers around her wrist in a steel grip.

"Yeah? Well I've been here for years, and I have never seen you before. Is this a mind game? You think you can break me again? I already do everything you want, what more do you want from me?!" by the time I concluded my sentence I was screaming at her. She gasped and tried to pull her arm away but I didn't let her. Then a voice comes from where the door is.

"I can assure you Arabella that this is no mind game. Now please let the kind nurse go." I snap my head to the man standing in my door way, he had an eye patch and he was wearing a black long shiny coat. I had never seen the style that he was dressed in. I pulled myself out of my thoughts and reluctantly let go of the women's wrist. She rushed out the room quickly.

"Who are you then? Where am I?"

"I'm director Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. that's where you are, our agency."

"How? Before I was with those men, and doctors. This seems very different."

"Well that's because it is Ms. Rogers. I'm about to tell you something's that might be upsetting. You dome have to say anything all you have to do is listen." I nodded my head at him.

"Ms. Rogers you were with a group called Hydra for many years, they left a file on you, which we found. That's how we know your name. They tested on you and did experiments. They created you so you could become a super solider, meaning you have extra strength and heightened abilities. Now we have some tests that we've done showing that you have been in a cryogenic stasis on multiple occasions. Which is why you didn't age all these years." I couldn't speak for a minute until I understood his last sentence.

"All these years?" Fury looked at me seriously before saying.

"It's 2015 ma'am." I gasped, that's not possible, last time I checked it was 1940. It couldn't have been that long.

"I don't believe you! Now I know your trying to mess with my mind." I started to get agitated. I sat up ripped anything that was embedded into me out. I stand up and walk towards the door, Fury tries to grab me by the arm but I push him across the room. I run through the building trying to find my way out, surprisingly nobody tried to stop me. I find the exit and push myself out the door. I'm shocked by the sight I see, buildings tall above me, signs and lights all around me. People wear odd clothing and cars that were weirdly shaped. I couldn't see straight but I just kept on walking having no idea where I was going. No direction or cause.

I became aware I was wearing a hospital gown when I started getting weird looks from people. It was true, everything that director had said wasn't a lie. It really was 2015. Tears started rolling down my face, I couldn't help them. I knew I shouldn't cry, I was taught very strictly not to cry. But I couldn't stop the tears. I dropped to my knees in the middle of the sidewalk in front of a random building. I curled into myself, arms wrapped around my head I don't know how long I stayed that way. Then I hear a car door open from my side and a shoe touching my head. The shoe tapped my head lightly a few times. I looked up to see a man wearing an expensive looking suit, glasses and had a neatly trimmed beard only covering his mouth an upper lip.

"Come on Arabella, I can't have you losing it right in front of my building." I gave him a shocked look.

"Yes I know what you're thinking 'how does he know my name?' well I'll tell you, I just know everything." I stare at him with a very blank look.

"Ah I'm kidding, S.H.I.E.L.D told me you were here. It's my job to take care of you now, apparently." He gave an eye roll at his last sentence. "Well let's get up and go inside before someone makes a call to the police." He bent down and grabbed my arm lightly, and I let him pull me up. With his help I entered the building and we got on an elevator all the way to the top. I stepped out and into the room. I stared at his place in awe, it was so advanced. Clean and expensive looking. I knew he was a rich man just from looking at his suit. But man. He has a lot of money. I looked over at Tony and I saw him pouring himself a drink with his back towards me.

"Is this your apartment?" I asked him the question, and it surprised him because he turned around as soon as I spoke, he probably didn't expect me to speak at all. He gave me a dry chuckle.

"No, no this is my whole building I own it all." He threw his arms around to showcase it to me.

"Oh." He smiled cockily at my response. I continued.

"What's your name then? Since you already know mine."

"Tony stark. But feel free just to call me Tony, no mister, or anything attached to it." I smiled a little at that. He started to talk again,

"Well let me just tell you how this is all supposed to go. You're going to be staying with me, as instructed by Fury, you're lucky I decided to be generous today, I could've said no. Anyways I'll take care of you and teach you the new ways of the time to the fullest. All you have to do is behave, by my standards, which are not very much so you'll probably get away with a lot. Um that's pretty much it, so enjoy the ride my new-old- friend." I stared at him with my mouth slightly open, well I can just tell Tony is going to be a trip. I'm sure I wouldn't get into much trouble as it was, I never did when I was with Steve and Bucky. I paused at that thought. They both had to be gone by now, I never got to see them again. Sadness over took me but I quickly pushed it away and asked Tony another question.

"So do you live here just by yourself?"

"No I have my pepper here too."

"What's your Pepper?" before he could even reply the elevator dings and a voice says.

"I'm his Pepper." I turn around to see a red head standing right behind me with a huge grin on her face. "It's nice to meet you Arabella, I'm looking forward to having another girl with me here." I can't help but smile back, her happy mood being very contagious.

"Nice to meet you too Pepper." I wasn't sure what to do at that point. Shake her hand? Hug her? Was greeting even different from the 30's? Seeing that I was really undeceive Pepper just pulled me in for a tight hug. It felt nice, I hadn't had a hug like that in years. It almost brought tears to my face. It reminded me of someone. I just couldn't place the face, I knew it had to be a women, possibly my mother. I couldn't remember much from when I was really young. I wanted to remember though, an innocent childhood, one that was free of worry and no pain. Pepper stepped out of the hug and took my hand.

"Okay since Tony already told you all about his "rules" I'm going to show you where you'll be staying!" she was very chipper about it all. It was a very different mood then I was used to, but I couldn't seem to make myself dislike it. Pepper dragged me away from Tony, who called out to her about her remark of his rules. I heard pepper give a loud dry laugh. She took me back to the elevator, and pressed the 12th floor button.

"The 12th floor is actually the guest floor, since this was short notice I couldn't put anything together for you. Sorry about that." I shook my head in disagreement. Really I was just happy I had a place to stay. We quickly arrived to the floor and she took my hand once again, we went straight in the living room. It was directly in front of the elevator, but it was wide with huge widows all around it. A white long couch sat in the middle, along with a love seat. I saw a black looking screen thing in the middle, it was flat and very large. I turn my head to the left and saw a black and white designed kitchen. Pepper spoke.

"This floor had an open layout concept, expect when you get to the rooms. You have to turn down the hall on your right to get there, but other than that you can see everything from one spot." She motioned with her hands as she talked, pointing out the hallway and the dining room area. I took a minute to observe my surroundings in silence, if I was going to be staying here I would memorize everything about this place. Pepper moved throughout the apartment, I could hear here heals clicking as she went down the hall to the bedrooms. It was a pretty long hall, I knew this simply because her footsteps sounded very distant as she walked further down. Standing in the middle of the room awkwardly, I wasn't sure what to even do.

This whole damn situation was weird. I just woke up from god knows where, got lost in a city many years away from what I'm used to, and now I'm supposed to live with a rich man and his pepper. If I knew how to provide for myself in this time period I would have done so, but I knew no one. So I'm just taking all the help I could get, and if S.H.I.E.L.D. ordered this man to take care of me, then I guess it couldn't be that bad. Plus they both didn't seem like bad people either, far from the people I was "living" with before. I heard peppers steps becoming louder and I turned to her direction, facing her as she made her way around the corner.

"Before I go and let you rest some there is one thing I think I should tell you about." I gave her a curious face. "You see Tony is somewhat of a genius and has developed a computer that will, putting it simply, talk to you and help you with what you need." Now I was definitely intrigued. She laughed at the face I was making towards her.

"Here I'll show you. JARVIS please say hello to Ms. Rogers." It was a brief moment before a voice was heard over my head, startling me slightly.

"Good evening Ms. Rogers."

"Heh..hello, JARVIS?"

"Indeed ma'am that is what I am called." I nodded my head in understanding, more for myself then the computer voice.

"Alrighty Arabella, now that we got that all covered I'm going to take my leave. Oh, you can pick any of the rooms in the hall, this whole floor is yours."

"Wow, thank you Pepper. If I need anything do I just tell JARVIS?"

"You got it!" she gave me a playful wink and then headed out to leave me completely alone since the first time I've been awake.


	5. Chapter 5

When I saw the lift doors close, I made my way from my spot in the living room to the hall way. Feeling like I needed to hide away from the world that was unfamiliar territory I chose the very last room down the hall. I pass at least doors before I got to the room that I felt would make me the most comfortable. With a gentle push on the handle I opened the door. Inside was as beautiful as the rest of the floor. Pristine white bedding, marble floors, grand lights on the ceiling.

I almost felt too dirty to step into the-my room, but I did. I took a look through the drawers and closet. I found all types of clothing, man and women. I think Tony wanted to be prepared for either gender of guest in his rooms. I'm glad he did, I really wanted to get out of this hospital gown and into something comfortable. Although I wasn't fully awake or aware of the times when I was being held with Hydra, they brought me normal time appropriate clothes when I was awake. I could always tell it had been awhile because of the style of clothes they brought me. The last time I was awake, they brought me high waited jeans and a neon top.

You see the key for me to do the missions I was sent on was to always blend in. What's a more perfect way then to give me civilian clothes? It never mattered if it was a dress, pants, or lingerie they would put me in time appropriate styles of each of them, so wearing the clothes of this time period wouldn't bother me at all. In fact it was one of the only things I looked forward to when they woke me up for a job. I went back to the dresser drawers and picked out some underwear and shorts and a t shirt that read STARK. Tony would be the one to have his guest wear something like that.

These clothes were a little bit different than the ones that Hydra gave me before. I walked to the other door in the room, which I could only assume was a bathroom. And it was, but the shower looked very complicated. It looked like I'd have to touch the screen to activate it. So I asked the only person, well thing, I could.

"JARVIS?"

"Yes Ms. Rogers?"

"Um well first, can you see me?" The thought of that made me nervous.

"No ma'am there are no cameras in the private places. I can only observe people that are in the public areas, such as the elevators. Everywhere else is off limits."

"Right one more thing. Can you operate the shower? I really don't know what to do with it."

"Of course Ms. Rogers. I'll set it to a medium temperature for you." In the blink of an eye the water was turned on and steam started to rise up quickly. Seeing as it was already hot I entered the shower. It was exceedingly relaxing, but before I knew it the events of the day suddenly caught up to me. I felt weak in the knees and my breath was caught in my chest.

I slid down the wall of the stall slowly, trying not to hyperventilate. I reached the floor and pulled my knees to my chest, staring blankly at the wall. I felt a warm tear fall on my knee, I didn't even realize I was crying. I didn't move to wipe them away, I just let them fall freely. I don't know how long I sat there, but when I came back to my senses the water was cold and I was shivering. I stood up from my place, and grabbed at towel to wrap around myself. Drying myself off, I put on the clothes that I grabbed. I turned around and saw a mirror.

There was a girl there in the reflection, she looked surprised. I raised my hand to move my hair, so did she? I didn't know this girl, she had dark circles under her eyes and a dead look in her brown eyes. Her hair was an unnatural black. There was a thin but jagged scar running from her neck to her shoulder, another one subtlety under her left eye, you couldn't really see it unless you kept staring. I took me a minute to realize it was me in the mirror. Not a she, but me. It was like looking at a total stranger, this wasn't how I remembered my reflection.

It had been years since I looked in a mirror, the doctors never let me look at myself. It was a way to strip me of my identity. As was dying my hair black, I was a natural brown headed girl from what I remember. I couldn't stand to look at the reflection anymore, I only saw the girl they made me into, the monster. I walked away and into the bedroom, deciding to just sleep instead. I was more tired than I initially thought, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillows.

 _I stood in the middle of a large room. There were people around me talking, having a normal day. Children smiled at me and mothers talked to me about the weather. Men where reading newspapers and drinking coffee. I felt a tug on my pants, a little girl handed me a picture. I brought it closer to my face to look at it, it was her and her family under the sun._

 _'_ _How sweet'_

 _When I looked up again the room was gray. Red splattered on the walls, wailing was heard from behind me and you could hear blood dripping off the ceiling._

 _'_ _What? What's going on?'_

 _I didn't scream or talk. I turn my gaze to the floor, and there laid the bodies of everyone I the room. They were splayed all around me blood running down their throats were a knife cut them, grotesque and mouths opened wide. Their eyes staring at me, blaming. I started to shake. I felt another tug on my pants, this time I was hesitant to look down. My head turned to look down. A little girl had blood dripping down her neck, throat sliced. Her face pale and eyes black. She opened her mouth and a gurgling sound came out._

 _"_ _You. Did. This." It started out as a whisper._

 _"_ _You. Did. this!" she spoke with volume this time._

 _"_ _.THIS." she screamed at me at the top of her lungs, screeching while she did so._

 _"_ _NO! I didn't, I wouldn't!" I shook my head to her, tears rolling down my cheeks, my body shaking. I look down at my hands. There was blood on my left hand, and a knife in my right, blood covered that too. Snapping my head back to the girl, about to yell at her again. Except there wasn't the little girl anymore, it was me. The old me with a 30's dress and hair pinned, blood splattered on her dress and face, knife in her hand. She spoke three words to me with a great deal of conviction and a broken tone._

 _"_ _You did this."_

I shot up from the bed, sweat covering my body; gasping for air. I slipped my legs over to the side of the bed, needing to feel cold wind on me. Bending over I put my elbows on my knees and head in my hands. It was so real. Did I do that? Or what is just a dream? I stood up from my position and made my way to sit on the chair by the window checking the clock on the night stand, it read 4:14 AM. There would be no more sleep for me tonight, yet I didn't want to think of anything either. So I settled in for a silent thoughtless stare at the wall.

Eggs sizzled in the pan, making a popping sound every few minutes. I sat the spatula down next to the stove on a paper towel, and moved to butter my bread. If I couldn't do anything else, the one thing I always knew how to do was cook. It never seemed to leave me, no matter how many times I was put under. Cooking was somewhat comforting and reminded me of simpler things.

I plated my food and turned off the stove, sitting at the high top table in the kitchen. It was so quite with me since yesterday, and although it felt nice to actually be alone, I didn't know if I was comfortable being alone with my thoughts. They scared me more than anything else, they threatened to tell me the truth, to remember all of what happened to me. I didn't want to deal with that yet.

"Good morning Ms. Rogers" I grabbed my fork in my hand as a weapon, ready to attack the surprise voice. Suddenly I realized it was just JARVIS talking to me and relaxed my hand.

'Well that's going to take some getting used to.'

"Good morning JARVIS." I dug my fork into my fried eggs, cutting up a small piece.

"Mr. Stark has requested to see you on his floor as soon as you're up and ready."

"Alright I'll be up there in a moment."

"Very good ma'am." I gulped down the rest of my breakfast, not wanting to keep my host waiting for too long. I already got dressed early in jeans and a white t-shirt, so I went straight to the lift to go meet Tony. As I walked onto the top floor I see tony sitting on the couch, a show playing in front of him on a screen. I stood over to his side and waited for him to see me. He spoke without looking away from the screen.

"You are definitely a fast one Ara. You don't mind if I call you that do you? No? Well good, even if you did I was going to call you that anyways, Arabella is too formal for me. So! I called you up here because I'm going to take you out and show you the 'new' New York, per request of S.H.I.E.L.D, and then I'll show you some party fun, per my request" a frown came to my face, why would he help me like this? He didn't even know me.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Going out of your way and taking me in. What do you get out of all of this?"

"Can't a do something out of the goodness of his heart?"

"Yes, but you don't seem like the type of man to do something out of the goodness of his heart."

"Ouch. That kind of hurt." He placed a hand on his heart, pretending to be wounded. "Look Ara. Let's just say I owe someone a favor and leave it all at that. Get ready to go, were leaving in ten." He stood up and went to into another room. The answer he gave me wasn't satisfying, but I didn't want to push it anymore. I stood by the elevator, waiting for Tony so we could get this outing started.


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few weeks Tony and I spent a lot of time together, he took me to the malls and we saw a 3-D movie. He showed me how to use a cell phone, and how to properly use JARVIS. He took me to an amusement park too, it was all really fun and overwhelming too. The more time I spent with Tony the more I understood him, and even felt close to him. Pepper also took me to do a few things too, like getting my hair cut and painting my nails. She was very caring, and began liking them both very much. It was getting easier to be around them and even open up more too.

I still had nightmares more then I'd like to admit, sometimes I couldn't relax no matter what I did, I can't seem to remember that I'm safe now. Tonight was definitely one of those nights, I tossed and turned, got up and paced the room. I needed something to do, maybe someone to talk to for a while about anything.

"Hey JARVIS is Tony still up?"

"Yes ma'am he's in his work room, would you like me to give him a message?"

"No, just let him know that I'll be coming up."

"Yes Ms. Rogers." I left my room right after that and headed up stairs. I made my way to Tony's lab, stopping only to wait to be let in by Tony. I walked right up to his desk and took a seat next to him. Tony moved his head towards me and raised an eyebrow in question.

"What's up with you?"

"I just can't sleep at all. Memories keep playing in my head, they don't give me a break." I sighed exasperated.

"You want to talk about it?" He put his tools down and looked at me and shifted his body in my direction.

"No." I paused. "Yes." Tony smirked at my playfully, I rolled my eyes. "Yeah I do, it's just difficult."

"Well I don't sleep much anyways so we have all night, take your time." I bit my lip, thinking of a good place to start.

"I had this love, back before I was taken by Hydra, he went off to war. So did my brother. All I can think about tonight is how I never got to see them again. How disappointed and sad they must've been when they came back and found me gone, how lost they felt because they had no clue what happen to me.

Out of all that has happened to me personally, taking away what I've done for Hydra, that's what really eats me up. I never wanted them to hurt, especially because of me. I keep thinking about my time with my love, and how I promised him I'd wait for him. I broke that promise." I glanced down at my hands.

"You know that isn't your fault, you didn't choose for all that to happen to you." I closed my eyes and opened them to look at Tony in the eye.

"I know, but it still eats me up." Knowing that I really didn't want a response to that statement, Tony just puts a hand on my head to ruffle my hair and says,

"It's going to be okay kid." I gave him a hearty laugh.

"Kid? Tony I'm way older than you!"

"Well I'd totally keep that fact in mind, if only you didn't 20." I just shook my head at his silliness.

* * *

A few months passed before I knew it and I had a regular routine at the Stark residence. Get up, eat breakfast, work out in the gym room, see if Tony as up to do something that day, and then chill the rest of the day. And on a rare day Pepper wasn't working, we'd all go and have lunch, sometimes I'd let just Pepper and tony go. I knew they needed time alone too.

Today was a little different, apparently Tony had a friend from the avengers coming over. He told me about the battles that happened and them saving the world. Every time he told me a story about them, he always seemed to be leaving something out, but I never voiced my suspicions. Tony and I were in his living room watching a random channel on T.V when JARVIS's voice spoke.

"Mr. Stark, Dr. Banner had arrived."

"Thanks JARVIS!"

"No problem sir." The elevator dinged and doors slid open, a tall man with black and gray streaked hair wearing pants, a light blue dress shirt and a belt, Stepped out. Tony stood up to greet Dr. Banner.

"Hey there big guy, still staying angry?"

"Always Tony." Dr. Banner seemed annoyed at Tony's question and he push the square glasses that sat on his nose up in response. It made me giggle, drawing Dr. Banner's eyes to me. They widen a fraction before returning back to normal. I guess he was surprised to see a girl other than Pepper on Tony's floor.

"Tony can I talk to you in the kitchen for a moment?"

"Sure thing Banner." My eyes followed them as they stepped into the kitchen.

'That whole talk was very odd.' I focused back on the T.V, trying not to eavesdrop on the conversation in the kitchen. I hear the elevator ding again, but I don't turn around to see it open, thinking it's only Pepper. An angry voice yelled.

"Tony get out here!" Okay that's definitely not Peppers voice, it was far too manly and deep. It still was oddly familiar to me nevertheless. I whip my head to the man, gasping at who was standing there. Tony rushed out the kitchen door, before yelling 'shit!' The man turned his head to me.

"Arabella?"

"Steve?" My face tortes in confusion, he was supposed to be dead! Not standing here about to chew out Tony for whatever it is he did. I didn't move or blink, or even breathe. Well I think it's Steve, he still hasn't answered me, and he's way taller. He also has a lot of muscle now, but the way his eyes looks. He still had the same baby blue eyes, concerning and caring for others. I was positive it was him now.

"Welll this is awkward…" Tony trailed off his sentence. I scoff in disbelief.

"You knew!"

"I don't think that's the point right now, all that matters is you two are reunited after many years!" Tony motioned his hand back and forth between us. I took a step towards tony.

"Oh no, I confided in you, told you about my worries! All this time he was here, and you didn't even bother to tell me." I was livid and felt betrayed, he knew I felt guilty, I could've seen Steve and apologized. I could've told him what happened to me.

'Wait, how is he even here?' My thoughts screamed out to me. My eyes trailed over to Steve.

"How are you alive?"

"How are you?" Steve shot right back at me. We started each other down, waiting for the other to answer. Steve was the first to move his gaze and offer an explanation.

"When I was recruited for the war I signed up for a special program. The program turned out to be an experiment that made me into a super solider. As you can see." He gestured for me to give my reason.

"Hydra kidnapped me a month after you left and turned me into what you are." My answer was short and to the point. Steve snapped his eyes towards me, I could see the sadness, and a mixture of anger. He wordlessly moved around the couch and in front of me, pulling me in a bear hug.

"I missed you Arie. I thought you were dead." His voice broke as he told me.

"Me too Steve." I hugged him back hard, not wanting to let go, making sure it wasn't just a dream. How could It be, in my dreams Steve was my height and very skinny. This new brother, was not. He towered over me. The door to the kitchen opened again, and I released my hold on Steve. I find Dr. Banner and Tony standing side by side, watching us. Anger flows through me once again.

"Tony!" Tony's eyes go wide, and he put his hands up in a defensive position.

"Now just here me out Ara. I was just doing what S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted me to do."

"Since when do you do anything that S.H.I.E.L.D. wants you to do?!" I yelled outraged.

"Since I started to care about you!" He yelled back at me. I shut my mouth quickly. Running my hand over my face I sighed.

"Yeah I care about you like you were my own sister. I was going to tell you, I really was. But then S.H.I.E.L.D told me it be best not to; it would set your recovery back."

"How could knowing about my brother being alive possibly set me back?" This time I spoke in a dejected tone.

"Because you were going to resent him."

"What?"

"He didn't have to suffer the way you did to get here, that in itself really sucks. When you first woke up you were in a fragile state, who knows what throwing in an emotion like resentment towards your own brother could've done to you? We needed you to heal first, understand the situation, before we told you he was alive."

I understood where they were coming from, it was a logical reaction. That didn't mean I liked their excuse. I had to figure out what to do with these emotions on it. I could stay mad and add another reason for me to be tired and restless. Or I could let it go and forgive them, not for them but for myself. I decided on a middle solution to that.

"Okay, I get it. That doesn't mean I forgive you just yet, and I'm not completely calm with it. But... I get it."

"I'll take that." Tony smiled at me after he spoke. Shaking myself from my emotions, I moved back to Steve. I looped my arm through his, getting a sense of Deja-vu when I did so. Looking up at my brother, which was strange, I said to him.

"It's been forever, how about I make you something to eat and we can catch up." Steve smile down at me sweetly, before a look of realization crossed his face.

"I'd love that Arie, just let me talk to Tony and Bruce real quick and I'll meet you. Where do you live?"

"On the 12th floor, just take the lift down, the kitchen will be there as soon as you walk in."

"Oh so you've been staying here too?"

"That's right." I heard him mumble something under his breath that I couldn't hear, before I could question him he tells me to go to my place and that he'd meet me in a few. I nodded at him and walked towards the exit, seeing Tony and Dr. Banner standing there I remember I never introduced myself to him. Even if I was a warier person, had a dark past and some bottled up feelings. I never forgot my manners. It was a way to hold onto the old me. I stopped in front of him and held my hand out.

"Good to meet you, I'm Arabella." He looked shocked he peered up through his glasses, and took my hand to reply to my greeting.

"Nice to meet you to, Bruce." Smiling I let go of his hand and continued my way out.

"Wait I'll go with you, I need to get somewhere. I'll see you later Tony." Bruce stepped into the elevator. I pressed the button for the 12th and ground floor, I looked up to see Steve and Tony watching, I gazed back at them before the doors slid closed, their faces gone from my sight.


	7. Chapter 7

**For this chapter I decided to write in another person's point of view. Let me know how you like it! Also thank you to all who review, you guys are the reason I keep writing.** **J**

 **Hannahg**

 **Steve**

I watched Arabella's face as the doors to the lift close before turning back to Tony. He had smirk on his face, hands in his pockets.

"Do you enjoy keeping secrets? Because you're doing it more often" I clenched my fist when I spoke.

"Actually Cap I really don't have to tell you anything, so it wouldn't be a secret."

"Oh really, so you didn't have to tell me about MY sister?" I spoke drily.

"You heard my reasons, I think they're pretty fair."

"Well I don't, you could've at least told me."

"Oh really and would you have stayed away? I think not." Tony made is way to the minibar, and took out a glass to pour a drink.

"Yes I would have, if you'd explained it to me!"

"Just like you're supposed to be staying away from the Winter Solider?" He took a sip from his glass.

"That's different." I slammed my hand on the wall.

"Not that different." He move around the room to sit in the love seat. I took a breath, and put a smirk on my face.

"There's the other secret coming and making its way out. You also know where he is."

"Who?" he asked me in a mocking tone.

"Don't play games with me Tony, you know exactly who."

"Say I did, you still aren't supposed to go after him, Fury's orders. So that's not much of a thing on the low down is it?" He was right, but that didn't matter. I was going to find Bucky no matter what. He is my best friend, I owe him that much.

"Whatever, I'll find him on my own." I stormed out of the room to the lifts. I hear Tony call out behind me,

"Good luck with that!"

Arabella stood in the kitchen humming a tune while mixing food in a pot. This whole scene brought back so many great memories, it look and sounded the same exact way, tune and everything. I never expected for her to be alive, I spent a great deal of time looking for a trace of her. She was nowhere to be found, no records, no family.

She simply vanished. Finding nothing for so long really broke my heart, I never got closure, I didn't know if she ran away or died in an accident, or murder. All the possibilities went through my head, but it never occurred to me that Hydra had taken her. I blame myself, I shouldn't have left her all alone, and I should've made her stay with someone. I should've stayed.

"Don't blame yourself." Arabella spoke up staring at me.

'How did she know?'

"I can see it all over your face, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know that they'd come for me."

"I could've done something."

"No you couldn't have Steve, not with how you were back then." She gave me a playful smile.

"Now you're just being mean."

"Just truthful." I grinned big at her. She was as playful as she had ever been. A comfortable silence came again, and I was content to watch her glide around. She moved her hair out of her face many times, and I noticed that the color of it wasn't the same. I brushed it off, not wanting to bring it up. She pulled her hair up in a high pony tail, and I saw a thin scar from her neck to her shoulder.

"Where did you get that?" I questioned her, concern in my voice. She touched her neck, immediately knowing what I was talking about.

"I don't remember." I could tell she was lying because she wouldn't look me in the eyes when she talked. Deciding not to press her more, I let it go moving onto a new topic.

"What are you making for us?"

"Chicken pot pie, it's a new recipe found." She showed me the ingredients, explaining what they were all for.

"It looks delicious Arie, can't wait to eat it."

"Yeah me too." As she turned back around to the stove, I thought about telling her about Bucky. I wasn't sure if it was the right move, but I figured that I would want someone to tell me that another person I loved was alive.

"Listen Arie I'm going to tell you something, I don't know if it's the right thing for me to do, but here it is. Bucky is still alive." she blinked rapidly.

"Oh that's wonderful, does he have children or even grandchildren? Is he at a nursing home? I'd really love to visit him." I looked at her dumbfounded, and then understood why her reaction was that. She thought he survived the war and came home.

"I don't mean he's alive like that. He was taken by Hydra too, same as you." Her mouth opened slightly, and I waited for her to say something.

"So is he staying with you now?" it was almost a whisper, but I heard her question.

"No Hydra still has him, but I'm working the best I can to get him back." The oven timer beeped and I watch Arabella as she runs to take out the food. She places it on the stove an puts her hands on her hips, back turned toward me.

"Bring him home Steve."

I didn't reply to her, the way she reacted was very unlike herself. She would usually start crying or yell at me to do something. Tell me to work faster. In that moment I knew, despite her big smiles, manners, and the cooking. She had changed, no longer the innocent girl who'd tell me to not go to war. But a person who understood sacrifice, and was ready to take a chance too.

The coldness of her answer stuck in my heart, I couldn't hear the emotion of her words. It seemed like almost a command, and her walls were built high up so no one can see what she is feeling. I don't know why I imagined that she was going to be the same person I left, I just hope that she isn't too far gone to realize she had more friends than enemies.


	8. Chapter 8

**Arabella**

 _"_ _You are going to do what we tell you, or were going to find that brother of yours and end him. You understand me girl?"_

 _A man in a white coat stood above me, looking down at me with menacing eyes. The room was all black except for him. I couldn't speak, my mouth was covered by a cloth. My body was strapped down to a hospital bed._

 _"_ _Nod!" I did as he told me. Tears gathered in my eyes, I didn't want them to hurt him. He wouldn't be able to fight them, even if he was at war, I'm sure they didn't put him on the front lines. These men would hunt him down, and kill him. Wherever he is, no matter what. They made it very clear to me._

 _"_ _Don't cry. You are not allowed to show weakness." I couldn't stop the tears. "You don't want to listen? Maybe we should show you what happens to weak people."_

 _He moved to the side, I tried to follow him with my eyes, but my head couldn't turn that far. My nerves were high, my whole body shaking. He entered my vision again this time a drill in his hands and a smile on his face. He gave it a whirl, and brought it down to my arm._

My eyes shot open. I quickly brought my arms up out from under the covers, I examined them. No blood or gaping holes, just five small hole shaped scars on my arms. I sighed in relief; it was only the memory. Kind of sad to say, but I was just glad it wasn't really happening. I looked over at the clock.

8:30 AM

Lucky for me it was time to get up. I dragged myself up and out of the bed, heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Steve and I did everything together for the past two weeks, we were trying to make up for lost time. I was happy we did, even if I didn't tell him so. I didn't talk much about my time spent with Hydra and Steve didn't push me too either. He continued to look for Bucky and I never commented on it, opting to listen him rant about the search. Steve was supposed to meet me later to spar, we both thought it would be good for me to keep up my fighting skills.

"Good morning ma'am this is your wakeup call as you requested, also Mr. Rogers is here to see you. He tells me he's in a rush."

Toothbrush still in my mouth I yell a thank you.

'That's weird he's here really early.'

I spit out the paste quickly and head out to the living room, I find Steve pacing back and forth in his Captain America suit.

"Hey Steve." He snaps his head to me and walks my way.

"Hey Arie, I just came to tell you I found Bucky and that I'm going to be away for a while."

I thought about finally seeing Bucky, it scared and excited me at the same time. I wouldn't know what to expect. I was scared to even tell Steve that we got married. I should, he has to know before he goes. This could be my last opportunity to say it.

"Okay, let me know once everything is settled." I kept a blank look on my face while replying. Steve looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead he nodded once and turned to walk out.

'Say it!'

"I married Bucky." Steve stopped in his tracks and whipped around to face me, an incredulous look on his face.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah we got married after you left, it was a quick decision." His eyes were wide in surprise and then he seemed a little angry.

"You guys didn't wait for me to get back?" I rolled my eyes.

"We didn't even know when you were coming back, and I didn't want to wait that long. Besides it's not like any of us came back anyways." I crossed my arms. He opened his mouth to speak, shut it, then opened it again before turning back to leave. He pushed the button to call the elevator.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?" he replied with a sigh.

"Don't tell him." He looked at my face, trying to find the reason behind my request.

"I won't, but you have to explain later." I agreed to his terms and he left my floor. I took a moment to breath and decided to make today a lazy day. This morning was enough drama for me. I headed back into my room, shut the door and turned the T.V on to a crime show.

Four hour later I was eating chips on my bed while watching T.V and playing games on my phone during commercials. Suddenly my game paused and my phone started ringing

 ** _Pepper_**

I slid the phone to answer, putting it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey Arabella, what are you doing right now?"

"Just watching a show, what's up?"

"So I have a lunch to go to and Tony bailed on me, again, I really need a person to go with for some support. Can you please come?" I chuckled at her ramblings.

"Of course I'll go, when should I be ready?"

"Great! Be ready in thirty minutes, I'll be up to get you then."

"Okay see you then." I hung up the phone and reached for the remote to turn off the T.V. I ran my hand through my hair, then jumped up to find clothes to wear. It took me a few minutes to pick out jeans and a long sleeved blouse, not wanting to show my scars; I wore my hair down too. I chose black flats from the closet and headed out to wait for Pepper in the living room.

I only waited another ten minutes until I heard a ding, and heeled footsteps. Pepper stepped in front of me, looking at her phone typing a text message. She had a large purse on her arm, and she was dressed semi-casual.

'Perfect I won't have to change.'

I stood waiting for her to finish, she pressed one last key, and moved her head up. Seeing me, she went straight for a hug.

"Thank you so much, I don't know if I could deal with business talk all by myself for an hour." I hugged her back gently.

"No problem, I like spending time with you anyways." She gave me a smile and spoke,

"Let's head out then we have," she looked at her watch "to be at the place in fifteen minutes."

"Okay let's go."

Once we got to the restaurant Pepper told the hostess what group she was with, and they lead us down to the table where all the business people were. It was nice to get out, even if it was to be around people who wouldn't glance my way a second time. Pepper said hi to all of the people and we took our seats in the middle. She pulled some folders from her bag and gave them to the person sitting at the head of the table.

The waitress came around asking what we would like to eat and drink, I ordered a coke and shrimp linguine. I tuned out the conversation by playing on my phone. I got my food and ate, Pepper turned to me once in a while to ask me a question or comment about the people, making me laugh a little. It seemed to al go on forever when I felt a pull on my shirt.

"Hey you want to go and get a drink at the bar with me?" I pulled myself up from my seat.

"Yep."

We made our way to the bar and sat at the end. After ordering two martinis, and Pepper turned to me.

"So I heard Steve left today."

"Oh yeah he did." The bartender set down our drinks, I said a quite thank you.

"You know why he left?" The way she asked made it seem like she already knew, and she was checking to see if I did too.

"Yep. Went to bring Bucky back."

"Isn't that exciting?"

"Mmhmm" I took a small sip from my drink. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well it would be if I hadn't blurted out that I married Bucky." Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open.

"You did?! To both of those things?" she gaped.

"Sure did" I held a hand to my mouth as I laughed "then I told Steve not to tell Bucky too."

"Wouldn't you want him to know your married?" I shrugged my shoulders, not offering a clear explanation. It wasn't that I didn't want him to know, I didn't know what state he was in at the moment. I'd have to really make sure he was ready for that kind of news, similar to what S.H.I.E.L.D. and Tony did to me. I really understand why they did it now, it is dangerous ground to tread.

We left after a couple more drinks, biding fare well to the small amount of people at the business table. As much as I enjoyed my time with pepper I was ready to crawl into bed and hide in my room, I definitely had my fill of human contact for the night. I did just that, as soon as we made it home I went straight to my floor and all the way down the hall to my room. Changing to pajamas I flopped down on the mattress and my thoughts drifted to Steve.

'I wonder if he's ok. I wonder if he found Bucky yet. I really hope he forgets about asking me why I don't want him to tell Bucky I'm his wife.' I groaned at the anticipation of that conversation. I know I really threw that fact on Steve out of nowhere, to him at least, but I wish he just let it go. I close my eyes tight, trying to make my body fall asleep.

* * *

 **I really appreciate the reviews. As I said before, you are the reason I keep writing. So please keep reviewing!**

 **\- Hannahg**


	9. Chapter 9

**Arabella**

I stared at my phone in silence, hoping it would ring. Waiting for it to do anything but stay on that black screen. It had been days since Steve left, and soon after Tony left too. I knew there were a lot of politics going on in the news about the Avengers, but I never paid much attention to it; never really wanting to get dragged into all of it. I hadn't actually left my floor since I got back from the lunch with Pepper, but I knew that she was fed up with Tony and had decided to take a break from him and the company. She came to tell me about it before she left.

 _I laid awake in the dark, it was well past midnight, but the memories that plagued my mind wouldn't let me fall asleep. Same old story for me, I was getting used to it by now yet it was still frustrating. I hear a knock on my door, and my eyebrows furrowed._

 _'_ _Who would want to see me this late?' my heart raced at the possibilities. It could be Steve coming to tell me he was back, maybe Tony to bother me, or was it someone coming to attack me? I put my hand on the door knob, ready to throw a punch at whoever was on the other side of the door. I yanked it open, and was about to swing my fist when I saw who was standing there._

 _"_ _Pepper?"_

 _She had tears trailing down her face, make up smudge, and red hair messy. Pushing her way past me, she sat on my bed and started to wipe the wet tears from her eyes._

 _"_ _I'm sorry I came so late, I just really needed someone to talk to." I walked back to the bed and sat next to her._

 _"_ _Its fine, I wasn't sleeping anyways."_

 _"_ _Right. I just" she choked on a sob "I can't do this anymore, he promises me change and then does the same things all over again." Realization flashed through my mind. She was talking about Tony, I had known that they were problems between the two, but didn't think they were this bad. Pepper continued,_

 _"_ _He said that he was done with those stupid suits, but he's up there right now making one. Those things almost caused my death, and he doesn't even seem to care." I rubbed her back slowly, I wasn't sure how to comfort her; much less the right words to say._

 _"_ _I need a break, a long one, to just be by myself and figure out what I'm going to do with, well, everything."_

 _"_ _Then that's what you should do, take a vacation somewhere tropical and relax." I agreed with her need to be by herself, sometimes we all just need to be alone to know what this best thing to do is._

 _She nodded rapidly, and whipped some more tears._

 _"_ _Can I stay in one of your rooms tonight? I really don't want to go back up there."_

 _"_ _Of course, whatever you need." She told me thanks and headed out to pick a room. I let out a sigh and threw myself back onto the pillows._

The very next day she left for the airport. I didn't tell Tony and he didn't come and ask me, so I assume she told him of her plans. Now it had been some days, and I hadn't heard anything from anybody. I wanted to know, and at the same time I didn't want to call and distract them from their task. I settled for staring at my phone until someone called. I baked so many pies and cakes, trying to keep myself busy. I had one in the oven now, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, and it became sort of a comfort. Suddenly the silence was too much to bear.

"JARVIS play Pandora."

"Yes ma'am."

The sound of today's music hit the air, and I went to the sink to clean up my mess. A cell phone ring hit my ears, I quickly dried my hands and yelled for JARVIS to turn the music down. I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I held my breath.

"Hey Aries." Relief flooded through me.

"Steve, finally."

"Yeah I know it's been some time, but I got him Arabella. We're going to help him get better." My heart sped up, but I didn't want to let myself feel happy. It wasn't going to be an easy process to bring him back from the way Hydra treated him, and I didn't even know if he remembered me.

"That's great."

"Don't try to sound too excited. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, just bring him back. Where is he going to stay?"

"We all think its best that Bucky and I stay at the Stark tower. It has a lot of space and medical facilities. It's perfect for his recovery."

"We all?" I questioned.

"The whole team has decided to stick together for a while; there are some issues that need to be worked on, so the Avengers are probably going to be around more often now. I just want to give you the heads up that were heading there now and should be back by night."

"Right well I'll see you then."

"Arabella. We're going to talk about it." Steve hung up the phone. Great, he did remember. One more thing to be nervous about. I stood by the sink, thinking of the outcome f tonight. Should I go and wait for them at the landing pad? Should I wait on Tony's floor, or should I just stay in my own safe haven and wait till someone seeks me out? I couldn't decide what to do.

'I'll just wait till the time comes and then make my choice.'

The oven beeped for the fifth time today, and I moved to take the pie out the oven and place it with the others on the stove.

Night came faster then I wanted it to, and I decided on the safer route; to stay on my floor. As soon as dark came, I went to my room, shut and locked the door. I know I was being gutless, but I wanted to protect myself in the only way I could, even if it meant hiding myself in a room. I sat on the chair by the window wearing my pajamas, staring at the buildings and stars in the dark. It was peaceful; I wasn't worried about the things around me and the problems on the other side of that door. JARVIS interrupted my thoughts.

"Mr. Stark is here to see you Ms. Rogers." I groaned. Well they are definitely here now. I stayed sitting, wondering if I kept him waiting long enough would he just leave.

Knock. Knock.

"Come on out Ara, I want to talk to you." His voice sounded muffled. I bit my lip before giving in and walking out to talk to Tony. I pushed past him and lead him to the living room, I didn't want anyone else in my safe place. I plopped down on the love seat, Tony sat opposite of me on the long couch arms thrown out on the back of it.

"Everyone's here, why didn't you come up and wait for us?" I gave him a quick shrug and turned my head to look out the window.

"You're going to have to see him eventually, he lives here now for god sakes. Why do you insist on dragging this out?"

"I'm just not ready Tony." Whispering my answer to him, I hugged myself tight. He squinted at me a long second, then stood up.

"No not good enough, I'm not taking that for an answer. Let's go, stand up." I gawked at him. He couldn't be serious. Impatient he stalked toward me and grabbed my arm, dragging me with him to the elevator. He pressed the top floor button and the doors closed. I started to bite the inside of my lip, reverting to a nervous habit. We reached the top fast, stepping onto the level. The whole group was here, my brother, Bruce, Clint, Natasha, even Thor. I saw Bucky sitting in the corner silent, away from everyone but still close to Steve. I tried to sneak quietly to the bar that was far from everyone, but Tony was having none of that.

"Here we are! Just a couple minutes late, had to work out a few kinks." He yelled in a playful tone. I winced as heads turned in my direction. That's just fantastic, so much for going unnoticed. I avoid their gazes, well not so much everyone's, just one person. I still sat at the bar, watching the team talk and converse about the day's events.

"Don't want to join in?" I look to my left to see Bruce standing there, a look of inquiry adorned his face.

"I actually prefer to be by myself, Tony wasn't having it." I rubbed the back of my neck. Bruce nods refilling his drink.

"Yeah he always seems to get you to do what he wants." He took a seat next to me.

My eyes went to Bucky. He looked so different. He had long hair now that stopped just after his chin, and his left arm was metal; obviously Hydras doing. A light beard of hair on his face, he was still as handsome as ever. His blue eyes stared at the floor, ignoring the people in the room. This is exactly what I was afraid of. I'd see him, he's be completely different and not even remember me. All I wanted to do was go into his arms, and hid away from the world in them. That wasn't possible, not while he didn't know who he used to be. It tore my heart up, and I didn't know how to handle these emotions.

Abruptly Bucky's eyes met mine. Although it was unexpected, I kept eye contact; challenging him to look away. He mouthed something.

"Arabella." He swiftly looked away and back to the floor. Acting as if the moment didn't just happen. It took me a minute to realize what he had mouthed. My name.

A body stepped into my view of Bucky, I switch my gaze to the person standing in front of me. Steve is staring at me with hard eyes.

"Does he remember me?" I murmured. His eyes soften at my question.

"No Aries, he doesn't even hardly remember me."

"Did you ask him?" I pressed on.

"Of course." Steve replied with conviction. I laughed dryly.

"Then you all want to wonder why I didn't want to come up." I hopped off the bar stool, ready to make my exit. What's the point in even staying, he saw me, they asked him about me, he still doesn't remember. Now I'm just here to hurt myself, no point or reason to it. Steve grabbed my arm, pulling me back.

"It doesn't mean he won't eventually, you just have to keep pushing." I bit my lip, opting not to answer. I didn't know if I believed that. Looking once more at Bucky, I decided that I was just going to have to.

"We still have to talk." Steve reminded me.

"I know." He gave me a pointed look, telling me to give my reason for telling him not to tell Bucky we are married.

"I just don't want to make him feel guilty for not remembering me, especially such a big thing as that. I know what guilt does to a person. So I want him to come to all of the facts on his own."

"Won't he still feel guilty for not remembering you after he does?"

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have pushed him. That's a worse kind of guilt, when someone so desperately wants you to remember them, but it just isn't there. I won't do that to him." I declared, my emotions clear in my voice. Steve looked surprised, maybe he thought my answer was going to be a selfish one. He just didn't get it. I love Bucky with everything that I am, all I want is for him to be happy. Even if I'm not included in that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Arabella**

This building was too crowded. Not literally crowded where there were too many people to a floor. No I still had my whole floor to myself, as did everyone else who's living here. Except for Steve, he and Bucky share a place. The thought of how many people were recently added to our house hold was a little overwhelming. I needed to get out and get some fresh air and see something new. So I headed out to take a walk around New York. I knew Tony would have preferred me to take the car, but I didn't want to ask him for one. I didn't want anyone to know I was gone, I wanted to roam freely for as long as I could without someone tracking me down. Well at least until Steve called me to practice with him.

I stepped out of the Stark Building for the first time in days. I breathed in the warm May air. This felt good, as much as I loved to stay huddled up in my room; going out occasionally didn't hurt either. I made a left, not really sure where I was even going. I passed a number or food places and clothing stores, seeing people walking and looking at their phone. Observing as cars passed and I crossed an intersection with a group of stranger. I never did something like this before, when I went out with Tony or Pepper we'd usually take the car.

Ending up at a huge walking trail, I found a bench to sit on, relaxing and watching the trees. I watched joggers run and families interact, all those people had a normal life. They were married and had jobs, seeing them all so happy made me jealous. That's what I wanted for my life, I never wanted to survive to the future. I wanted children and to have family dinners, spending Christmas together, and eventually having grandchildren.

No, I didn't get to have that life. Instead I end up 70 years in the future, with a husband who can't even remember who I am. This was a sick twisted world, and I got the short stick of it all. I can only try my best to be happy that I even got to see my brother and husband again. The wind picked up and I grabbed my hair from flying everywhere. Suddenly there was a shadow blocking the sun that shined behind me, I turn my neck to see who was there. Bucky stood there, blank face. His eyes traced my face, before finding their way to meet mine.

"What are you doing here?" I say as I get up to stand and face him. He looks puzzled himself.

"I don't know, I saw you leaving and I had the urge to follow you." He closes his eyes shakes his head and looks at me once again. "I feel like I know you, I can't explain it, but I want to be around you." I raise both of my eyebrows. So maybe it wasn't my in imagination that he said my name last night.

"Then be around me. I don't mind." I offered. He thinks about it for a moment, then moves around from the back of the bench. I sit down and he follows my lead. We don't say anything, we just sit in silence. I don't tell him that he does know me, and that the reason he wants to be around me is because we were once in love. We didn't break up or end on a bad note the last time we were together. I can't say that we were still in love anymore; even if I loved him despite all the time that had passed. That didn't mean he loved me too, not yet at least.

* * *

Bucky followed me for the rest of the time we were out. After siting for an hour longer on the bench, we got up and started to walk again.

"So the weathers nice today." I made a lame attempt to start a conversation with him.

"It is."

"Just in case you didn't know my name is Arabella."

"I know Steve told me. Mine is Bucky, at least that's what I'm told."

"I know Steve told me." I shot back. Not knowing what else to talk about I start rambling about living with Tony.

"You know when I first woke- started to live with Tony it was really a mess, he took me so many places I couldn't see straight."

I couldn't tell him what happened to me yet, and that includes him knowing that I was actually alive during his time period. I felt that he knowing anything about my past could lead to certain questions. I didn't want to bring it up unless he did. And I would only say anything to confirm his questions. I would not reveal our past until he remembered something on his own. Hopefully spending time with me will jog some memories; it was already good I felt familiar to him.

"Did you not like going places?" he countered to my statement.

"It's not that I didn't, it was just overwhelming to me." I continued on.

"What's your favorite color?"

'Green'

"Green." Bucky answered. I chuckled, I already knew that, I wanted to check if it was still the same.

"How about a favorite animal?"

'Dog'

"Dogs seem friendly." I almost laughed out loud. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was reading my mind.

"What about you Arabella, what is your favorite color and animal?" I checked his face to see if he was actually interested, he seemed to be waiting for my answer.

"Blue, like the ocean. I love dogs too." He nodded to my answers.

We continued back and forth like this on our whole walk. As time went on he seemed to walk closer to me and by the time we walked back home, our shoulders were touching. I half expected him to leave to his floor once we got inside, but to my surprise, and delight, he went with me to my floor too.

I was pleased that he came with me, but I didn't know what to do. If I were by myself I'd just go to my room and watch a show. With him here I wasn't going to do that, and we weren't on the level where I'd let him go in to my room. He sat on the couch, facing the T.V. and I went to get a drink of water from the fridge. I thought about what to do.

'We could watch a movie.' That was a safe and easy idea.

"Would you like to watch a movie with me?" He rotated his body to look at where I was in the kitchen.

"Sure."

Perfect, now to pick a movie. Making my way to the living room I picked up the remote, not exactly sure how to work it. I didn't spend much time using the T.V here. I somehow found Netflix and surfed through the movies, sitting down on the opposite side from Bucky. I picked a comedy, feeling like we both needed a laugh. I didn't know how I tired I was until my eyes started to close thirty minute into the movie. I pushed my shoes off and put my feet up on the couch stretching my legs out just enough to be comfortable, not wanting to get in to Bucky's space.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, I feel hands pull my legs. I sleepily looked at Bucky as he drew my feet into his lap, he didn't turn his head from the T.V, just moved my legs and kept his hand on my feet the metal one holding on to the back of the couch. I closed my eyes enjoying having his touch, even if it was just on my feet. I fell into a blissful sleep.

* * *

"Ms. Rogers? Mr. Stark has requested for you to come up and have dinner."

I rubbed my eyes slowly, JARVIS's voice waking me from my sleep. I look to my feet and see that Bucky wasn't there.

"What did you say?" I sat up and yawned.

"I said that Mr. Stark has requested for you to come up and have dinner."

"Oh thanks, I'll be there soon."

"Very good miss."

I took a minute to actually wake up, shaking my head a few times. I was a little disappointed that Bucky wasn't there when I woke up. But what did I think? That he'd stay and watch me while I slept? He couldn't watch another movie either, I was very sure he didn't know how to work the T.V. Seeing the time I realized I missed paring with Steve, he was going to get me for that.

Finally getting up from the couch, I went straight up to Tony's. The most of the team was there, eating Chinese take-out. They waved me a hello, and I sent a wave back. Steve was sitting on the couch, a space next to him on his left open. I took the chance and quickly made my way to sit there. I leaned my head against his shoulder still kind of tired. Steve's blue eyes peered down at me.

"You okay there?"

"Yeah all good, this ass" I pointed to tony "Woke me up to eat." Tony shot me a grin.

"In my defense I didn't know you were sleeping." I groaned at his reply. That got laughs from the room.

"Well you shouldn't be too tired, you didn't even meet me like you were supposed to." Steve commented dryly.

"I know I forgot! I'll make it up to you next time."

"You'd better."

Sitting up I took a plate from the table, all the while scanning the room for Bucky.

"If you're looking for Bucky he hasn't come up yet." Natasha spoke with a small smirk, she sat casually on the love seat by the window. My face heated up red.

"Oh, I wasn't-"

"Yes you were, no need to lie." she interrupted. I sat back in my seat, plate forgotten. Natasha sent me a wink and I put my hand on my face. Without warning the lift dinged, I wiled myself not to move and check if it was Bucky; having been teased enough by Natasha. I kept my eyes on the coffee table that held the food; antsy for the person to show themselves.

I saw Bucky from the corner of my eye, he came to the couch were Steve and I sat. I subtly watched his moves, and was internally joyful when he settled beside me, his right arm touching mine.

"Hey Bucky, where have you been man?" Steve greeted him.

"Around."

I could tell by his response he wasn't comfortable with everyone yet. Which made me wonder why he'd sit where everyone was and not pull up a chair in the back. I felt him observing me, and I twist to return his stare. I offered him a small smile. I saw his lips twitch,

'He was going to smile!'

I feel him lean toward me, bending down a little to talk to me.

"I didn't want to wake you when I left to take a shower." I shivered when I felt his warm breath hit my ear.

"No its okay, I get it." I spoke in the same soft tone he used with me. He sat back up, keeping the side of his body close to mine. I looked down at our hands, they were so close our fingers almost touched. I was happy he felt at ease with me, it was relief. But I had to wonder why, and I figured it was a safe question.

"Can I ask you something?" I softly inquire to him, having to crane my neck up to look at him.

"Go ahead."

"Why are you so comfortable with me and not the others?" Bucky looked down at our arms, he placed his hand on top of my hand, running his fingers back and forth through mine.

"I guess it's because you feel like home." My face broke out into a large grin, I fixed my hand to hold his tightly. He gave me a minuscule smile but it was enough to make my heart flutter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Bucky**

When the Avengers first found me I was dead set on killing every single one of them. Those were my orders, I followed what I was told to do, no questions. I fought them with everything I had, and just as I was about to kill the red headed women, whose name I learned later, a man called out to me. He yelled "Bucky!" and images flew in my head. A skinny blonde man. A brunette girl. Falling to my death. Flashes I couldn't understand came and I let my guard down. I was knocked out. When I came to, the man was standing in front of me.

'Steve.' That was the name that popped in my head when I saw him. With looking at him I wanted to know more, and I wanted to know how I knew him. He started to talk to me, telling me he was my best friend that we grew up together, that my name was James Buchanan Barnes. More images came in my mind. Some were clear, others blurry. He also mentioned that he was like me, a super solider who was frozen at one point. I didn't have many memories but I did know one thing, this man could be trusted. I hadn't felt trust in years, I'd almost forgot what it meant. With the memories affirming what this man was telling me, when he asked me to come back with him and recover, I agreed.

Steve had told me that they had taken care of Hydra. I wasn't sure about that, but no one came to get me or voiced a command. At that point I had no reason to think otherwise, so I followed them back to a tall building in the city. I stayed in the back while they talked, observing the people, watching for any reason to think this was a lie. They all acted pretty normal, Steve sat just in front of me, telling me their names. Natasha was the red head. Bruce was the man with the glasses. Clint was the man with the arrows. Tony was the cocky one. And the man dressed in armor was Thor. Steve told me Thor was only staying for the night, and he had to be home the next day.

Then she walked in. I immediately knew she was in the room as soon as she stepped out the elevator. I watched as she tried to sneak off, going in the direction of the bar. Tony made a loud announcement about them being here. She seemed to be uncomfortable with the attention. I looked down at the ground, until I felt eyes staring at me. I quickly looked up, staring the girl at the bar straight in the eyes. A name popped into my head.

'Arabella.' I accidently mouthed it when it came to my head, so I broke eye contact with her, looking at the floor once more. Steve inclined his head toward me, telling me the girl that just came in was named Arabella, he then got up and walked her way.

I sat on the couch next to Arabella, holding her small hand with my right one. We were all called to eat, and when I saw Arabella I knew I would sit next to her. I spent all of today with her, following her when I saw her leaving the building. Seeing her walking away made my heart drop to my stomach, I knew that I had to stay with her. I found her on the bench, I sat down when she told me I could be around her. Basking in her presence for some time. We strolled and she asked me questions.

Being with her felt natural, I felt as if I knew her from somewhere. Images of a brunette girl filled my head. Her face was blurry but her hair stood out, what was so important about her hair? I shook my head from those thoughts, I was just going to enjoy Arabella's warmth. She was the only one I felt peaceful around. I especially enjoyed the touch of her skin against mine, it always made me want to run my hands all over her; leaving no patch of soft skin unscathed. I didn't know where those feelings where coming from, but I just knew that never wanted them to leave. If it meant staying with Arabella then I'd do it. I watched as everyone ate and talked, the feeling of normality setting in.

"All I'm saying is if he didn't want us to ask him about his projects, he shouldn't be bragging about it." Clint pointed out. Tony had said he was going to be very busy for the next few days, telling us that it was an amazing project. When Bruce asked about it, Tony said it classified; leading to an argument.

"Come on Barton, you know Tony loves to talk, and then withhold information to make us angry." Retorted Natasha with a snort.

"Yeah then he likes to taunt us about it all too. Don't fall for it." Arabella spoke up from beside me.

"Oh right let's all just gang up on me! Here I thought we were supposed to be a team."

"Says the man who won't share."

Tony glared at Bruce. We all chuckled at the sight.

"Buck you want to grab a drink with me?" I looked over Arabella to Steve. I hesitated to answer; reluctant to leave Arabella. When I peered down at her, she smiled at me encouragingly.

"Okay, why not?" Steve stood first. I gently let Arabella's hand go, standing to follow him. He reached the bar first, taking two crystal glasses out. I stood near him, my arms crossed.

"I see you're getting close to Arabella."

"Yeah." I replied taking the glass he offered me.

"Yeah? You want to tell me why?" the way he asked wasn't offensive, it had more of an inquisitive tone. Wanting to find the reason behind our proximity. I didn't know if I should tell him, would he use it against me? I looked at his face. There the feeling was again; trust. I would tell him.

"I can't really say for sure, all I know is that she makes me feel different." His lips pinched together then he let out a breathy laugh.

"Okay man, as long as it's a good different."

I throw back the rest of my drink, jaunting back to my place on the couch. I take Arabella's hand, she immediately locks her fingers with mine. Her brown eyes found mine, she beamed a beautiful smile.

'Definitely a good different.'

I nodded towards Steve, confirming the good of it. I study Arabella as she talked with Natasha, she had a medium defined nose, eyes rounded the color was a light brown with specs of a tan all through. Lips plump and pink, making me wonder what it be like to have them against my own.

She wore her black hair down, and I couldn't tell if it as her natural hair color. Looking at her kind of reminded me of Steve. Even though Steve had blue eyes and blonde hair, there features resembled each other. Maybe she was a distant relative to him. That would explain his deep concern for knowing my intentions with her.

"So Bucky how are you liking your time here at my humble residence?" All eyes went to me, waiting for my answer.

"Good so far." I curtly said. I wanted to attention off of me. My hand was squeezed, I squeezed back.

"I'm sure that he's really tired, I know I am. You want to head down with me?" Arabella asks, saving me from more questions. I nod my head once, telling her I was ready to go.

"Good night." A chorus of replies comes back to her. She stands up pulling me along with her by my hand. We leave the floor hand in hand.

"Don't stay up too long." Natasha remarked, a double meaning behind her words. Arabella groaned at her comment, mumbling under breath that she needed to

'Ignore and smile.'

I pressed the 12th and 10th floor where I was staying with Steve. Arabella turned to me a small smile on her lips.

"I enjoyed today with you."

"Me too."

She looked apprehensive to speak again.

"Do you think we could spend tomorrow together too?" she murmured to me a light pink gracing her face. That was cute, she thought I wouldn't want to be with her.

"There isn't anywhere else I'd rather be." The corner of her mouth lifted and she dove in for a hug, putting both arms around my waist. I responded quick, taking her in my arms; holding her close to me. The elevator doors opened, and she let go of me moving to exit.

"I'll see you tomorrow Bucky."

"I'll see you tomorrow." The doors closed just as I said it. I already missed her presence, sighing I leaned back on the wall. I reached my floor, stepping out and heading to my room. I could tell it would be a restless night, Arabella crowding my mind.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to all who review, I love reading your thoughts and comments.**

 **A special thanks to Diana Black 12 who has reviewed on pretty much all of the chapters, this one is dedicated to you!** **J**

 **Hannahg**

 **Arabella**

The smell of coffee hit my nose, which was really odd considering I hadn't even left my room yet. I spent the good portion of the morning browsing the internet and listening to music. I was planning to find Bucky later and see what he wanted to do.

Putting my phone on the bed I headed out of the room, unlocking the door and stepping out. I heard someone moving around in the kitchen, looking through the cabinets opening and closing the fridge. Peaking around the corner of the wall, I see Bucky standing there pouring coffee in two cups.

"Bucky what are you doing?" He wasn't even startled, as if he knew I was there already he answered.

"You were taking so long, I figured I could wake you up to some coffee."

"Where you waiting?" I walked to the counter leaning against it.

"Yeah, but its ok I didn't mind."

I was really glad I smelt the coffee before he came to my door and knocked. That would have been really awkward if I had to push him out of my room. I was comfortable with Bucky, I mean I loved him for years, but there was something in my new self that didn't want anyone, not even him, to enter into my safe place. Maybe it's because it feels as if we are starting all over again, and it's my natural instinct to protect myself from getting hurt. My room was my last line of defense from the hurt, he wasn't allowed to enter unless I was sure he was staying in my life.

"Well you were right, coffee is a great way to make someone get up." Bucky handed me a cup, I brought it to my face and gave a hum of appreciation as I sipped.

"I was going to find you later, but since you're here now, I was thinking that we could go to one of the trails. I was told they are very relaxing." I shot out my idea, hoping he would be okay with it.

"Whatever you want to do." My face lit up.

"Perfect, finish that coffee and let me change."

I turned on my heel, heading back to my room. After choosing simple clothes and quickly changing into them, we headed out to the trails.

We walked at a lazy and slow pace, tall green trees on both sides of the path, blocking us from seeing on the other side. I walked on his left side, occasionally looking at his metal arm. I was extremely curious about it, it didn't scare me or make me feel weird around him. Not much scared me anyways. I really wanted to touch it, to know what it felt like. I was a little nervous to ask him about it, I couldn't predict his reaction.

"What's on your mind?" Bucky asked me, looking at me through long his hair. I bit the inside of my cheek.

'Oh just ask before you chicken out!'

"Well, I, um. Can I touch your arm?" I stumbled through my question, then clenched my teeth in anticipation of his answer. Moving to the side of the trail to stand still he lifted his left arm up, face telling me to go ahead. I tentatively reached my hand out, my finger gently brushed against the cold metal. I trace the cervices from his shoulder to the tip of his fingers. I look up at his face, I could tell he was nervous about how I'd react. It was so silly, here we both are worried about how the other would take it, when I was just as okay with it as he was.

"I like it. I think it suits you."

"Really?" he asked disbelieving me.

"Yes really." To prove my point I take his upper arm in my hand and pulled him so we can continue to walk; keeping hold of the metal. He chuckles at me, shaking his head playfully. I watch as the trees come to end, a gravel road continuing the path. On the sides were open fields of grass, It was a perfect place to rest. I didn't say a word as I dragged Bucky to sit on the grass, his legs slightly open, arms resting on his knees. I plopped down in front of him, crossing my legs over one another. My hand supporting my head, I thought of what to say.

"I haven't actually spent time sitting on grass in forever." I paused. "It kind of makes me miss my home, back there my brother and I would just spend the whole day sitting on the grass." I substituted 'home' for 'time.

"I think I did the same thing, it's not clear but, it feels like something I did." Bucky offered, making an effort to bring his memories too.

"What else seems familiar?" I pressed, trying to see if he had any more pictures of the past. I moved closer to him, putting my leg in the middle between his.

"Well I do remember Steve for sure. I remember us hanging out, and us fighting in the war together. But every time I think back there seems to be a huge part missing. I really want to find it, but there is just a wall blocking me." Bucky played with the seams at the end of my pants, brushing his fingers on the skin under the jeans ever so often.

"I'm glad you at least can remember that, it's better than nothing." He nodded disheartened. I decided to turn away from the conversation into a new direction. Tucking my hair behind my ear, I moved even closer, sitting directly between his knees on the back of my legs. I took both of his hands from his legs, and faced them up. He watched me curiously, allowing me to manipulate his appendages.

"This is a thing that all the children used to do when I was younger."

I grabbed his hand, holding it in place. I ran my thumb from all of his fingers to his palm, then slapped the middle of it. I pinched a spot on his palm, pulling the two fingers directly up. He looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"You were supposed to feel a string coming from your palm." I say defeated, I repeated the process.

"No? Nothing at all?"

"No."

"Right."

He laughed loudly, surprising me. It was such a sweet laugh that I had to chuckle along with him. Bucky pulled me to him, making me sit between his legs, my back on his chest.

"Thank you, for making me laugh." He uttered in my ear. I felt his chin come down on my shoulder resting there. I leaned back into his warmth.

"Any time."


	13. Chapter 13

**Arabella**

For the next two days I was going to have time for myself, I had spent all week long with Bucky. I loved spending time with him, he still cared for me, unknowingly doing the things he used to do in the past. Like tucking my hair behind my ear, or hugging me from behind as much as he could. He had hardly spent time with Steve during the week. So when weekend came, Steve demanded that him and Bucky go and see a baseball game. They were spending the night in a hotel close to the stadium, making a whole weekend out of it. Bucky had agreed to the baseball game, but was more reluctant to spend the night. I told him he should, spending time with Steve was a good thing.

I was not going to go out at all if I could help it, being lazy and staying in bed sounded like a perfect plan. Bucky and Steve had left earlier that morning, not before they came and said good bye; making sure I knew if I needed anything they were just a call away. I wasn't going to call, I could take care of myself.

With a drink and a bag of chips in hand, I shut my room door with my foot, taking a second to turn around and lock the door. I set the food down on the night stand, pushing the covers of the bed down so I could climb in and cover myself. I settled in the bed, taking the remote and flipping the T.V on. I surfed the channels, not finding anything interesting. I settled for a ghost show, and put the remote down.

Soon I was drifting off to sleep.

 _The whole room was dark. I could hear the faint sound of water dripping off a pipe. Oh how I wished I could have water. I don't remember the last time I ate or drank, I don't even know if they fed me at all since I got here. I sat in the corner of the room against the wall, I couldn't see a thing, so I stuck to a place that felt somewhat safe._

 _Suddenly the door opened, bright light flooded the room hurting my eyes in the process. I put my head into my legs, trying to adjust to the change._

 _"_ _Get up." A voice commanded. I stood shakily on my legs, eyes shut. I feel someone grab my arm, pulling me roughly with them. We walked down a white hall, passing rooms that held medical equipment. Reaching the end of the hall, I was pushed into a gray room. They forced me to sit down on a chair in the middle. I hear footsteps retreating out._

 _A women stepped in front of me, her hair pulled into a tight bun on top of her head. Lips set in a straight line. No words were spoken, she simply moved to stand behind me. I felt a wet substance touch my head, I try to look at back to see what she was doing._

 _"_ _Head forward!"_

 _I kept still, not wanting to get hit like the first time I had got here. She kept moving the wet goo on my head and between the layers of my hair. I smelt a strong acid smell. She was dying my hair. I felt tears pool in my eyes. My hair was the only thing that reminded me of my father. It was all I had left of him._

 _She stopped putting the dye in my hair, and put my hair up. I watch her leave the room, leaving me alone. It was a good hour before she came back. She had a bucket of water in her hands. Setting it down next to me, she takes my hair down. Without warning she splashes me with the water, making me gasp at the coldness, streams of black dye running down my face. I hear her fill the bucket behind me, she splashes me once more._

 _The scene changes, suddenly I'm standing in the freezing cold. Snow is flurrying down on the town I stood in. The buildings around me looked small and run down, the signs were in a language I couldn't read. I was hiding in the woods just off the side, I pull my coat tighter around me. Picking up the gun I dropped on the floor next to me while I was scoping out the town. I left my spot in the woods. I had to do this, they would kill my brother if not. My hands were shaky, my forehead sweaty. I had to protect myself too, they would kill me if I didn't do this._

 _I enter a small house. A child was crouched down shivering, a women holding a baby in her arms tears poured down her face they were all huddled in a corner. They knew why I was here. I continued to the back room, behind me the women screams in her language trying to stop me. I ignore her. I see my target, he was standing tall in the middle of the room. He knew why I was here. He seemed to resign to his fate, not a weapon to fight me in sight. I slowly raise my gun, pointing it right between his eyes._

 _I shoot. I shoot again._

 _I hear screams coming from behind me. I don't look at them as I leave, I keep my eyes forward. The screams filled the air, wailing of the family from the house. I just keep on walking._

I shot up from my bed, gasping for air. My hands shaky and heart pounding. I felt my stomach turn with nausea, I run to the bath room. I throw the toilet seat up, yakking up my last meal. This time I couldn't hold back the sobs.

"Why? Why didn't he fight?!" I yelled between sobs. I curled into myself on the floor. I felt dirty, I was dirty. What clean person kills a man the way I did? Not being able to take the feeling anymore, I pulled myself from the floor, turning the shower on as hot as it would go. Clothes still on, I submersed myself under the spray of the shower head. The water was scalding hot, making my skin itch. I didn't move to scratch, I deserved the discomfort.

Dropping to my knees, I let out a loud wail. I covered my mouth to stop the sound from coming out, I could hear the families' sobs through my own. It took me a minute to calm down, my cries turned into sniffles, I felt the heaviness of my clothes. I took them all off, letting them sit on the shower floor. I let the water hit me for a few more seconds, I then turned off the water and grabbed a towel to dry off.

I see my refection in the mirror, there I was red eyes, black hair. I couldn't stand to look at the hair Hydra gave me, the thing they took away from me all the while. I had to do something to get rid of it. I rushed out of the bathroom and threw on new clothes, grabbing my wallet. I got in the lift quickly, impatiently tapping my foot as it too forever to get the ground floor.

I ran out the building, heading to the nearest drug store which was only three feet away. I bought the first color of brown hair dye I saw, paid for it, and headed back to my floor.

Stepping out the shower for the second time today, I inhaled a deep breath. The mirror was fogged this time because I took care to rinse my hair thoroughly. I stood in front of the translucent looking glass, preparing myself mentally for what I'd see the instant I wiped it clear.

I took the towel from the rack, drying the ends of my dripping hair then used the corner of it to rub the mist off mirror. My breath hitched when I saw myself. I almost look like the old me, my hair now a medium brown. It was a relief, I felt that I took a part of me that was stolen back from them. I don't know why I didn't do it earlier, I just really hadn't thought about it like I did just a few hours ago.

I hear a knock on my bedroom door, brining me away from my reflection. I go to open the door, wrapping the towel around my body. Seeing Natasha there stunned me, she hadn't visited me on my floor in the past. We look at each other with the same stunned face. She speaks first,

"You dyed your hair?"

"I needed a change." I shrug.

"Change is good." She gave me a small smile, I halfheartedly returned one to her.

"Why are you up here?" I try not to sound agitated.

"Officially Steve sent me to check on cause you weren't answering your phone, unofficially I just wanted to stop by as a friend." That made me feel bad about being bothered, I couldn't force her to leave after she just said that.

"I'm all good, how about we talk in the living room? Let me just put some clothes on." She nodded, walking back down the hall. I quickly threw on shorts and a shirt, then shut my bedroom door behind me, following her to the living room.

'Hopefully this will be quick.' Taking a seat on the sofa, I turn to Natasha ready to start the conversation.

"Well you came up here for no reason" I throw my hands up, giving a tight lipped smile "because I'm all good." She sits forward putting her arms on her knees.

"I know you're not okay Arabella, it would be strange if you were. Believe it or not I know what you're going through." I gave her a disbelieving look. "It's true, before I was an S.H.I.E.L.D. agent I was kidnapped when I was a little girl, they trained me to become a Russian spy."

"I...I didn't know that I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not, if I hadn't been taken then I would've never met Clint and had the opportunity to work with S.H.I.E.L.D. It's not about the person I was when I was in Russia, it's about the person I planned to be once I left there." I felt my heart speed up, and I move my eyes quickly around the room. I place a hand on my chest, nodding a few times. She sat back onto the couch.

"So who do you want to be? Taking everyone else out of the equation, just you alone." I let out a small breath, nothing came to mind. I didn't even know who I was now.

"I don't know." I whisper. Natasha doesn't say anything else, we sit still in our own worlds. I was frustrated now, I knew who I was before I was kidnapped; A care taker. I was a survivor when I was with Hydra. Now I'm none of those things, all I see is a killer who has nothing of her own, but the color of her recently dyed hair.

'Well I guess that means I'm one step closer to finding myself.' That brought a tiny smile to my face. It's a start.


	14. Chapter 14

**Bucky**

"You know we had planned to come to a game like this when we got back from the war." Steve tells me then takes a gulp of his cold beer.

"Actually I do remember that, we had made a bet on who would still be able to stand straight after." I chuckled to him.

"Oh yeah, obviously that would be me." Steve mocked.

"No way man, I can easily out drink you."

"I'd like to see you try." He challenged, not falling for his attempt to bait me, I shake my head.

"This is exactly what got us in trouble back then." I retort good-humoredly.

"You'd be right about that."

I hear a bat strike the ball, I turn my head to look back at the games. I stare at the man running to the next base. When Steve had asked me to come see a baseball game with him and take a weekend to go see New York, I was more than unsure. Now spending time with him, joking about the past, I was really glad I agreed. I did miss Arabella despite it all, her warmth was an incomparable quality.

'Only a few more hours and you'll be back to her.'

Steve and I spent the weekend at a hotel, touring the museums, seeing the statue of liberty, all of the tourist activities. We had even visited the Smithsonian, where the Captain America exhibit was. I saw pictures of me in military garb, and Steve in his suit. I looked different back then, with short tamed hair. It did jog a lot of my memories, making it a well spent trip. A lot of the past was coming back to me, I'd see a picture or a thing that resembled a product of the 30's and I could see all of it playing in my head, almost like a movie.

The game went on for one more hour, Steve and I bantering back and forth. It finally ended, and we stood from our seats following the crowd to the exit. I did my best to seem relaxed but truthfully I was just ready to get back to Tony's building. The drive back wasn't too long, and soon we were at the structure. I stepped out the car then waited for Steve to get out before speaking.

"Thanks for the good time, we should do it again."

"No problem Buck, well head out another time to a bar or something. You use to love those."

"I think I still do, maybe next time we can take Arabella."

"Definitely, she would enjoy it too." He grinned big, a ring came from his pocket and he moved his head down to take a look at it. "It looks like I got to head out, I'll see you later, tell Aries I said hey." He didn't wait for my reply as he got back in the car and took off.

'Aries? I didn't know he had a nickname for her. They must be closer than I thought.'

I arrive on the 12th floor to see all of the lights off.

'It's 5:00 in the afternoon she usually is up and doing something at this time.'

I head down the hall to her room, I can't hear anything coming from her room. I tap on the door three times and wait for a moment. Nothing. I hear Footsteps in the main area and head back that way. There she is, standing behind the couch, ball cap on her head. She sees me and waves her hand to me. I stand in the opening of the hall way and lean against the wall.

"Hey there 'Aries'." She gives me a confused smile.

"Now where did you hear that nickname from?"

"Steve, he told me to tell Aries that he said hey. I didn't know you were that close."

"Heh yeah." She comments nervously. I approach her and place my hands on her hips, eyeing her ball cap.

"Here I thought I was the one that went to a ball game." She lifts her hand to her head, touching the hat.

"Yeah I was out with Natasha, we went to the mall. She has this thing about hats." Arabella takes a step back from me, removing her jacket. She pulls off the cap, letting her hair fall down.

It was brown. Like the girl from my memories. A sharp pain enter my head and grab it, stepping away from her further.

"Bucky?" Her voice triggers another sharp pain. I hold my hand up to her. The flashes start

A brunette girl. A hug goodbye, touch on the cheek. Letters in a camp. Holding her close. A wedding.

The pain fades slowly as the images become clearer. The girls face became clear. It was Arabella's face, she wore a white head veil and a smile.

"Bucky! Are you okay?" I see her in front of me, a worried look adorned her face. I stare at her with a astounded look.

"You're my wife."

Her mouth falls open and eyes go big. She closes her mouth and bits her lip.

"Bucky, I-"

"You what? When were you going to tell me?" I cut her off, anger grew inside me. All this time she knew exactly what I was missing, she knew how I knew her. She is my wife! Not a girl I knew, or just my best friend's sister.

"This explains so much. Why you and Steve look similar, why he has a nickname for you and cares about what you do so much. You both knew!" I shout at her, she winces.

"There is a reason for it Bucky, we didn't do it just because!" Arabella yells with urgency. I give her a dry mocking laugh, running a hand down my face hard.

"I don't want to hear this." I storm away from her going to the lift.

"Come back! We can talk about it, I can explain!" She pleads with me; her voice breaking. I step into the elevator. Throwing my fist against the doors once they close.

"Fuck!" I felt so stupid, why did I ask questions? There were so many signs they knew more. I had to get out of here, I couldn't stay with them both here.


	15. Chapter 15

**Arabella**

He left me standing in the middle of the living room. Lump in my throat, heart hurting in my chest. I knew he'd have to remember me eventually, but not like that. I would've died my hair back earlier if I knew it'd have this effect. I didn't know that he would react like that, so angry with me, us.

'He has the right to be, you kept something big from him.' A voice in the back of my head tells me.

'It was only for his good! Just like S.H.I.E.L.D. did with me.'

'Sure, but you weren't really okay with it. You just pretended to be.'

I knew telling myself he'd understand was just a lie to make me feel better about it. Maybe it really wasn't for him, maybe it was for me. I was the one scared of what would happen; I told myself it would be bad if I gave him a reason to really remember me. I created that lie to protect me, not him.

'This is a mess.'

I groaned loudly, throwing my body on the sofa. I stare at the white ceiling above me, feeling a gut wrenching feeling of dejection. I needed to be in a place that felt safe and kept me away from the world.

I swiftly drew away from the couch and hurried to my room. My safe haven. Locking the door as usual, I curled onto the bed. There would be no sleep for me, only guilt and sadness. How ironic; I was trying to save Bucky from that emotion, yet here I am the guilt a prominent feeling for me instead.

'Better me then him.'

That's probably the only good thing about this whole situation. It didn't make me feel any better, or relieve any guilt. I tried not to cry, I'd been doing that so much lately, yet I couldn't help it. It's my fault for my tears, I killed those people, and I withheld information from Bucky. I did this to myself.

A new feeling overcame me, I needed a release; I felt antsy. I hadn't sparred in so long, maybe punching someone will help me. I knew the perfect place to go and find people to do that to.

I looked up at the regular looking building, I hadn't been here since I first woke up. I was positive they'd let me walk right in, considering who I am. Sure enough as I walked passed security they didn't try to stop me. I found director Fury's office fast, busting in there without knocking. He sat in a desk looking through paper work.

"Give me agents to spar with." With his one eye he looked at me unimpressed.

"You come in here, demanding I give you my agents for your personal reasons? No I don't think so." Feeling exasperated I took a seat that was in front of his desk.

"Hear me out, I'm a super solider sometimes I need to practice my skills to get some rage out, your agents need practice. Who better to practice on then a person who is harder to hurt and heals fast?" Fury seemed to be considering it. He gives me a strict face then answers me.

"Fine, but if you hurt any of them too bad you can forget about doing this ever again."

"Got it." He picked up his office phone, making a call. Moments later an agent walked in.

"Agent Hill, this is Arabella. You know her story. I need you to find our skilled agents that need practice, take them to the workout area. They're all going to fight Arabella." He finished, dismissing us with his hand. We went into the hall, Agent Hill shut the door facing me.

"Follow me this way to the practice area, you can wait in there until I come back with the other agents." She started to walk further into the building, making a right at the end of the hall. She opened the fourth door on the left and motioned for me to go inside. I followed her instructions examining the room as I did. It was large and spacious; only having mats on the floor, wall to wall.

I hear a group of footsteps behind me. I move to see a bunch of agents in the room.

"You're fast Agent Hill."

"It's my job. Good luck with your fights." She answered back, taking her leave. I gaze around the room, checking out my opponents. There were two men and one woman. The men were large and had a good amount of muscle, it was obvious they had previous training. The women were smaller, but a look of determination their faces proved they weren't to be messed with. Deciding I waited long enough, I pointed at one of the men.

"You, let's get started." He took a stance in the middle of the room.

It started off as a slow dance, both of us watching, waiting, for the moment to strike. He pushed himself forward, throwing his right fist to hit my face, I side stepped him; grabbing his wrist tightly. I brought his arm around to his back, pushing him away from me with the front of my shoulder.

He quickly turns back to me, I fling an upward punch to his face. He stumbles slightly, recovering fast he throws his leg straight out. I fall on my back. Jumping right up I hit him right in the chest with my arm. I wrap my fore arm around his neck, using all of my weight to flip him over. I stand above him, my heel digging into his neck.

I look up to the other two agents in the room.

"Who's next?"

I fought all of them repeatedly, I had to give it to them they were sure determined. The only one that had actually come close to getting me down was Agent Moore. She was quick and agile, the only thing she needed to work on was making sure her enemy was truly down.

I was fighting with Agent Taylor a third time, he was the other man in the room. The first was Agent Knight, he took his lose pretty well. Agent Taylor had a good strategy, and I enjoyed his attempts to predict what I was going to do.

We didn't know how long we were all in here, no one was keeping track of the time. This was a great way to release rage, when I was with Hydra there was no room for sparring, only training. Even that was a fight to the death, if you didn't kill the other person in your fight, they'd kill you. Needless to say I won all of my fights.

Just as I pinned Taylor down, I hear someone say

"That's some serious fighting there Kid." I snap my head to Tony, who was standing in the door way. I stood up.

"I'm not a kid, and is there a reason your here, aren't you supposed to be working on a project?"

"I was working on a project, then I get a call from Fury, telling me that a certain charge of mine had been here for, oh, all night."

"We've been here all night?"

"Sure have! But, that ends now. Say goodbye to everyone and let's hit the road." He clapped his hands together. I looked at all the Agents, they looked worn out. I nodded to them and headed out with Tony.

"Come back another time Arabella, this was fun!" Agent knight called, I turn to see all of them nodding in agreement.

"Will do."

Tony brought his car to the S.H.I. . Office, I hopped in the passenger seat waiting for Tony to start the car. He sits in the driver seat, peering at me from under his sunglasses.

"What's happened?"

"Nothing Tony."

"Really that's why you spent a whole night fighting with S.H.I.E.L.D agents and not at home?" He replied sarcastically.

I curtly respond "He found out."

"Who and what?"

"Ugh, Bucky! He finally remembered me."

"Is it because of the hair?" he asks, pointing his finger all over my head.

"Yep, he saw it and all of the sudden he remembers that we're married."

"Whoa hold on, you married Bucky?!" He practically yelled at me.

"Yeah I forgot that you didn't know that, anyway he stormed out once it came back to him. He's mad that I hid it from him all this time." I sighed, pulling the ends of my hair.

"It'll be okay Arabella, he'll come back and forgive. I mean as stuck as he is to you, I'm sure he still loves you."

"Hopefully."

Tony grins at me. "So I guess I should have JARVIS call you Mrs. Barnes."

"You wouldn't dare; it's too soon for that." I reply to him wide eyed.

"Heheh well see about that." Tony turns on the car and puts it in drive, taking us away from the S.H.I.E.L.D. building.


	16. Chapter 16

**Arabella**

I tried to not think about Bucky since I got back to my floor, hoping that it would help me not worry about where he has been. I took a shower and ate as much breakfast as I could. The sparing helped my nerves a lot when I was doing it, now that I stopped I could feel them creeping back to me. I was really taken aback that I had fought with them all night and actually liked it. I had never enjoyed fighting with anyone, but last night I certainly didn't find it so bad.

'I really should've gotten one of their numbers so I could meet up with them again.'

I could just ask Fury to bring them to me when I go back. That was exactly what I'd do. I wonder where Steve was in all of this, he would've came and got me instead of Tony if he had been home. He most likely had a mission or job to complete. Bucky is going to be really mad at him when he gets back, that was a for sure thing.

I feel my heart beat fast at the thought of Bucky. God I hope he isn't mad at me anymore, I could've explained it to him if he'd stayed longer. I can't hope for too much, he does have a right to be mad.

"Mrs. Barnes, you have been requested to go Mr. Starks floor for lunch." JARVIS spoke through the intercom.

'Oh no he didn't.'

"I'll be there in a few JARVIS." I respond between clenched teeth.

"Yes ma'am."

I stomped to the elevator riding it to the top floor, trying to keep my anger in check. I climb out and saw Natasha, Bruce and Tony, I set my sights directly on Tony.

"I can't believe you…" I trailed off. Bucky and Steve sat on the love seat in the corner, a plate of food in their hands. My nerves where all over the place for them, and here they are just sitting on Tony's sofa. I slowly walked up to them.

"When did you get back?" I asked gently to Bucky.

"I came back with Steve earlier." He didn't look at me once, almost brushing me off completely.

'He's still mad at me.'

That hurt, being tossed aside like nothing. Yet Steve was sitting by him just fine, he kept it from him too! I moved away from him dejectedly, taking a seat next to Bruce on the other couch. A sullen look on my face, I stay quiet while everyone talks.

"You okay?" Bruce questions me in a soft tone.

I clear my throat a little. "Um yeah, just not in the mood to talk."

"Alright, if you're ever in the mood to talk I'm here."

That made me feel a smidge better, it made me feel like I wasn't alone in a room feel of people. Abruptly I recalled why I had stormed up here in the first place.

"Tony can I talk to you?" I interrupt him in the middle of his talk with Steve, Natasha, and Bucky.

"Sure, shoot." Everyone looks at me, waiting for me to speak.

"Privately." The smirk on Tony's face tells me he knows exactly why I'd like to speak to him. We moved to the kitchen, he leaned against the sink.

"I cannot believe you!" I hit him on his arm with the back of my hand.

"Ow! And I'm me, I can't see how you don't believe it."

"Change it back." I whisper yell at him.

"No can do, I like JARVIS to have to correct information on people. Rogers isn't your last name anymore, hasn't been for about 70 years." Tony smirks at me, crossing his arms across his chest. He turns from me and proceeds to leave the kitchen.

"Tony!" I call out to his back. He doesn't respond to me.

'Great! I really hope JARVIS doesn't call me by my last name in front of Bucky for a while.'

I grab ahold of the counter, leaning on it for much needed support. This wasn't how I planned for all this to be, and Tony was just making it all worse for me. He didn't get that it was too soon, not to mention that Bucky was still super mad at me. I didn't what to do to make this better, my heart was heavy.

I didn't want to stay up here with him like this, I was very tempted to just go and leave the building for some time. I had so many mixed emotions. Sadness, regret, anger.

'I am going to leave.'

I don't know if I could keep how I as feeling to myself, I might lash out at someone who doesn't deserve it. I push my body away from the counter and head back to the living room passing everyone sitting on the couch. Tony stood up as I passed.

"Where are you going Ara?" He called out. I smile back at his ironically.

"Anywhere but here."

I didn't know where I was even going but I somehow found a nightclub nearby, throwing away all of my precautions I enter it. The music was loud, base thumping through my body. Lights were flashing quick, and a crowd of people dancing in the middle of the floor. I headed to the bar, ordering 5 shots. I knew I couldn't get drunk, but that didn't mean I couldn't try. I sat down waiting for my order, watching as people got drunk and flirted.

The bartender set down my shots, I took the first one and downed it. One more. Another one. The next one. Then the last one. They burned as they traveled down my throat, but I felt no effect besides that. The Bartender looked at me in awe. I sent him a cheeky smile; ordering another drink. He kept a surprise look on his face as he went to serve another customer, nodding to me at the same time.

'Oh he hasn't seen anything yet.'

I felt someone brush me on my left side. A man was standing next to me, he had brown eyes and spiked up blonde hair, his smile was crooked and he seemed more than a little cocky.

"You aren't dressed to party."

"Yeah, well it was sort of a last minute decision." I stated dryly, hoping that he would get the hint to leave me alone.

"You want to make another last minute decision?" He wiggled his eye brows suggestively.

"Not with you."

"Ah come on, what do you have to lose?"

"My dignity." I retort with a snarky tone.

He grabs me by my upper arm roughly. "I'm just trying to show you a good time, how about you come with me." It wasn't a question.

"No." I repeat firmly, ready to kick this guy in the shin.

"She said no, how about you let her go now." I see a metal arm reach out and push the guy away from me. The guy backs away glaring at Bucky as he did. Bucky takes the seat beside me, and I take a drink of my alcoholic drink.

I put the cup down. "I had it under control."

"I know you did, doesn't mean I have to sit back and watch another man touch you."

My stomach does flips. Glancing his way I see him looking ahead to the T.V. I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"I thought you were mad?"

"I was. But I realize something when you left." Bucky moves his head; staring me directly in my eyes.

"What's that?"

"I spent years without you; you only a blurred out face that I dreamed about. I searched for you for decades in my own head, now that I have you right in front of me I don't want to spend another second without you."

I reach my hand out to touch his face, a feeling of love rushes through me.

"Then don't."

He pulls me from my chair, bringing me close to his chest. His hair tickles my face, making a giggle escape from me. Bucky leans down slowly, our faces so close I could feel his warm breath against my mouth. I close my eyes in anticipation. His lips brush mine gently, lightly pressing a warm kiss. His mouth moves against mine, his arms take me deeper into his body.

He releases my lips from his and places a last kiss on my cheek.

"So did you work it out with Steve too?" I ask him after I sit back down.

"Yeah he told me why you both decided to keep it from me, it made sense." He stops for a second.

"What he didn't tell me was how you're still alive too."

"Basically the same way as you." I answer shortly, maybe he'll get that I don't want to go into. The whole situation with him remembering we're married was enough as it is, my time with Hydra is a topic for another day. He nods to me, telling me he understood my shortness.

"Let's go home, this place is too loud." I speak directly into his ear, just to make sure he could hear me fine. He takes me by the hand to lead me out the club, we walk the rest of the way home stuck on each other's sides.

Bucky and I get up to my floor, he follows me inside. I reach the living room and wait till he comes in front of me before saying,

"I'm really tired Bucky, I'm just going to head to bed." Today really took an emotional toll on me.

"I know I'm really tired too. Maybe I could stay the night with you?"

I paused. Am I ready for that? To let him in my safe place, the one place nothing can get to me.

'Oh come on, he's your husband! Not a boy you just met and started dating.'

That's true, now that he remembers everything, it would be weird to sleep in a different bed then his wife. It should feel weird to me if we do that. I guess I got so used to the idea of him not knowing, I thought we had to start all over again. But we don't.

"Okay, you can stay with me."

He gives me a smile a wonderful smile. I can't help but smile back, even if I was a little nervous.

"Well just let me grab some clothes from my room and I'll be right back."

Watching him leave, I resolve to take a shower while he was gone; when he got back he could use it. I depart to my room, taking off my clothes on the way picking them up and carrying them with me when I do. If I Bucky hadn't been coming back I would've left them, I didn't want him to think I was messy. I was very clean in the 30's.

I go to lock my door, I stop myself realizing I couldn't do so until Bucky was in the room too. It was an odd feeling, I never leave the door unlocked when I was in my room. I enter the bathroom and turn on the water, it warmed up rapidly.

I move in to the shower, leaving my hair safe from the stem of water shooting down. After a quick body wash, I hop out, hoping that Bucky hadn't come back yet. I didn't think to get clothes before I got in, a lot of my habits from my time alone with freedom are sticking. I peeked out into the bedroom, he hadn't come back yet. I raced to my drawers, picking out sweat pants and a tank top to sleep. I tossed them on and got the bed ready for us to sleep.

Did he have a side he slept on? Did he even cared what side he slept on? Ugh, now I'm over thinking it all.

My door opens up, and I see Bucky in sweat pants and a t-shirt.

'Guess we think alike.'

"I took a shower already, I didn't want to waste any time."

"Don't worry I already took one too, I got the bed ready." He examines my work, walking to it and picking the side closest to the door. He was so calm and collected, yet I'm over here worried about if he cares where he sleeps. What's wrong with me? Bucky extends his hand out, beckoning me to come and lay with him. I tentatively take steps to him, grabbing his hand to help me move to the other side. Once I lay down Bucky tucks me into his side, and I place my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat.

"You mind if I turn on the T.V?" I ask after a long moment. I feel him move to grab the remote that was on the night stand next to him. He hands it to me and I click the T.V on, it was already on a channel I watched; I left it there. I feel his hand start to stroke my hair, it was soothing and relaxing. Eventually the motions lull me to a peaceful sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Arabella**

The sun hits my eye lids, waking me up to a warmly lit ceiling. I blink a few times, my eyes blurry with sleep. I'm zoned out for a few seconds, I hear my heart beating steadily, and the soft even breathing of Bucky still sleeping next to me.

His metal arm rounded securely over my stomach, it wasn't as heavy or ridged as thought it would be in this position. Rather than sinking into me, it sat there kindly as if protecting me from any danger. He laid on his stomach, face pointed in my direction.

His brown hair sprawled out on the pillow, mouth closed shut. His defined jaw tensing every few seconds. Bucky is the most handsome man I'd ever seen. I really don't know how he fell in love with me, but I didn't want to question it much.

I am so sacred he'll realize that I'm not good enough, that I have too much baggage to deal with. My nightmares come more often than not, and sometimes I'm sad for no reason. I ran more then I stayed, and I hide away from the world.

'What if he sees I'm not the same girl he fell in love with.'

My doubts and insecurities filled me; making me try and shift away from Bucky. His arm tightens as I try to move. He groans loudly, pulling me back into his chest.

"Where are you going?" He says into my ear, goosebumps trail down my arm.

"Just uh, to the bathroom." I lied. He hums a sound of understanding and kisses me on my cheek before letting me go. Bucky turn on his side, going back to sleep.

'Well I guess I should really go.'

I tip toe quietly towards the sink, trying to be as silent as possible. I shut the door behind me softly and turn to the bathroom mirror.

I take a deep breath. I wasn't so worried about all of this before, I didn't even think about it. But seeing him next to me after all these years, just awakened the fear of losing him all over again. I grabbed my toothbrush and turned on the water, laying the toothpaste on the brush.

I brushed my teeth for a while, my mind running a thousand miles per hour. I spit out the toothpaste and rinsed my mouth. Putting the toothbrush down, I grabbed my hair brush.

'Might as well clean myself up some.' There was a knock on the door.

"You okay in there?"

"Yeah I'll be out in a second." I called to the door. I run the brush through my hair, trying to be fast. I looked at myself one last time in the mirror, and exited the bathroom. Bucky was sitting against the bed frame, looking at me with a smile.

"Good morning." I greet.

"Morning, come lay with me." I grin to him as I walk to him, it was better not to tell him how I was really feeling. I was sure it would scare him away. He opens his legs for me and spreads his arms wide as I get closer. I lay between them and snuggle my head into his chest, relishing in the fact it made me feel protected. He presses a kiss to the top of my head and hugs me.

"Well aren't you just full of kisses this morning?" I tease him, running my fingers on his bare arm.

"There's plenty when you're involved." He says as he chuckles. I smile softly at his words. "Maybe we can just stay in bed today?" he adds.

"I don't see why not, I don't have anything planned for today."

"Perfect, I get you to myself all day."

I peer up at him, his face happy and content. Seeing me staring at him, he leans down to touch his lips to mine. Pecking softly at first, then with more urgency and pressure. I move my body up, straddling him on either sides of his legs.

He puts a hand my hair, tangling it through my strands pulling gently. I pull away from the kiss, setting my hand against his chest. We smiled at each other, and he raises a hand to caress my cheek. I lean into his touch, placing another kiss on his palm.

He moves my hair to the side, and goes to kiss my neck. Suddenly he stops, taking a hand and tracing a line down my neck.

'My scar.'

I jerk my hand up, attempting to cover it from his sight.

"Hey, hey don't hide it, I want to know all of you." Bucky says soothingly, he moves my hand from my neck and brings his lips to kiss it rabidly.

"I want to kill whoever did this to you." He whispers against my neck menacingly. I put a hand on my head.

"There probably already dead."

Bucky and I spent the day wrapped in a blanket and giving each other lazy kisses and soft touches. Even now we were still in bed, watching a random cartoon. It was the little things like this that I loved. I was running my hands through Bucky's hair, him laying his head in my lap, when my phone buzzes. I pick it up from the nightstand and check it.

Pepper: Hey Arabella, I'm back in town and I was wondering if could meet up with me tomorrow? I really need someone to talk to.

Me: Sure yeah, where and what time to you want me to meet you? I have a lot to tell you too.

Pepper: Meet me at the Starbucks near the building at 3:00.

Me: Okay, see you then.

"Who are you texting?" Bucky speaks.

"Just Pepper, she wants to meet."

"Who's Pepper?" He asks confused. That's right she left before Bucky came back with Steve.

"That's Tony's girlfriend, well, they're on a break right now." I state as I continue to stroke his hair.

"Stark has a girlfriend?" He questions very surprised.

"Sure does."

"So when are you going to meet her?" he lifts his head to look back at me.

"Tomorrow at 3:00, don't worry I'm not leaving you yet."

"Good, I wouldn't have let you anyways. You said you'd spend the day with me in bed."

"True, and I am." I respond while giggling. He lays his head back down and I resume toying with his hair.

We continue to watch T.V for another hour until I grow hungry. I move his head from my lap, telling him I was going to make something for us to eat. I get to the kitchen and open the fridge pulling out eggs and bacon, it's never too late to eat breakfast, I scramble the eggs fry the bacon and toast some bread. I put it all on two plates and bring it back to the room. Bucky is already sitting up, I hand him his plate and take a seat on the other side of the bed. As we eat Bucky turns to me.

"I could get used to this, in fact I will because I want to have this every morning." I nod my head in affirmation, trying to swallow the food in my mouth.

"Sounds great." I tell him. We eat in silence for the rest of the time.

'This is definitely good progress compared to yesterday.'

"Mrs. Barnes, Mr. Stark is here to see you."

'And that may be a setback.'

I don't look at Bucky, opting to stare at the ceiling with resentment. I get up from the bed and head out to the living, before I even reach the door Bucky grabs my hand, and turns me around. I speak first quickly.

"I'm sorry, Tony found out and insisted that JARVIS call me that. I can force Tony to change it back-"

"Don't." He intercedes. "And don't be sorry, I just wanted to let you know I like it." I was taken aback by his response, not at all what I had expected.

"Okay." I reply happily, giving him a wide grin.

"Hurry back Mrs. Barnes." I laugh as I walk out the room to Tony. He's standing in the middle of my living room, fingers to his mouth, tapping them rapidly. His head snaps to me as soon as I enter.

"I know Pepper texted you, don't ask me how, I just do. You have to tell me what she said." Tony dives right in, leaving me no room to ask why he was here.

"Right… ok, you guys are on a break, I don't think she would appreciate me telling you anything about her."

"Well that's the thing, I've been trying to get her back. I sent her presents and romantic things for the past few weeks, then she came back to New York. I just have to know what it is she told you." He pleads with me, desperation clear in his voice.

I raise an eyebrow. Tony Stark begging for a woman back. Great, now I'm going to feel bad if I keep it to myself.

'He's like my brother, I can't leave him hanging.'

I sigh. "She just wanted to meet me tomorrow, she said she needed someone to talk to." He nods, rubbing his chin.

"She could want to talk about anything with you, perfect, she's in town and I don't even know if she still cares about me, much less want to talk about me." Tony rambles, arguing to me about her reasons.

"Tony when she says she needs someone to talk to, to me, it's usually about you." I point out.

"Really, how do you know?" he presses.

"Pepper came to talk with me before she left." I see sadness enter his eyes. "I don't know what she wants to talk about now, but I do know that she still loves you. She always has no matter what." I insist to him with certainty.

"You're the best Ara, I might buy you a nice present, maybe something pretty." And there's the Tony everyone knows and more or less loves. He treads back to the lift, I call out to him before the doors slide shut.

"Yeah you're just lucky Bucky wasn't upset because JARVIS called me 'Mrs. Barnes'. If he was, I wouldn't have told you anything." He smirks at me from his spot, lifting his hand to wave goodbye.


	18. Chapter 18

**Pepper**

I left Tony, only because I thought that it was the best thing to do. He had his things he wasn't willing to give up, and I had my input that I wasn't willing to compromise. The logical thing for me to do was separate from him. I wouldn't have to compromise and he wouldn't have to give up anything. Turns out it wasn't all I expected it to be.

At first it was nice and relaxing, staying at a beach in Costa Rica and sipping martinis all day was a good trade. I tried not to think about Tony, I really did. But as time went on and all the glamour of my vacation started to fade; I was missing him. It was all of the little things that I found myself thinking about.

The way his body felt sleeping next to mine, our tradition of coffee and the news, the way he hugged me, the way he kissed me. God I really missed the sex too. All of these things just piled up, then he started sending me flowers at my hotel room. He paid for a whole day of pampering and even bought me a car just so I could get to the places that was on the list. Driver included. He even tried writing a love letter to me, it was very sweet, but not his strong suit.

He made sure I had everything I could possibly need, all the while giving me the space I needed too. How could I not want to return after all that? He was really trying for me. So I bought the next plane ticket to New York, and was on a flight that morning. Despite it all I still didn't know if I was doing the right thing.

So I texted Arabella to meet me tomorrow, well today, to talk about it all. She helped me a lot before, and I knew she could do it again. She had an objective point of view on the whole situation, even if she was close to Tony and I.

I sat at a table in the back of Starbucks, latte in one hand, phone in the other. I was reading emails about company events, trying to get caught up on what happened since I left.

"Hey Pepper." I look up and see Arabella taking a seat in front of me.

"Arabella! It's been too long." It really had, Tony was not the only person I missed.

"I know, but it was for a good reason." She replied generously.

"Maybe not that much of a good reason."

She looked at me confused. "Why would you say that?"

"It's just that I have been missing everyone and thing so much. It feels like a waste of a trip." I reasoned.

"No it wasn't a waste, if you hadn't gone then you wouldn't have realized somethings."

I laugh, "What things have I realized?"

"I don't know, you tell me. You wouldn't be back otherwise." Raising my eyebrows and smiling ironically I say,

"You're good." I pause to gather my thoughts. "I love Tony, a lot, I don't want to live without him yet sometimes I can't live with him. It's like I want to kiss him hard and then punch him in the face too. He frustrates me to no end and I'm positive it does it all on purpose." I'm now ranting; bawling my fist up. "But when it's all said and done, I wouldn't change a damn thing about him." I finish, relaxing my hand.

Arabella watched me for a minute, she hesitates before she speaks.

"You knew how Tony was when you made the choice to date him, I mean you knew him for years. What you need to decide now is whether you can handle him and all his blemishes, or if it's easier for you to just walk away."

"Walking away would be easier…" I start, "but with choosing to date a guy like Tony, I never take the easy way." Arabella gives me a look that says 'well there's your answer.' I wasn't going to just take the easy way, I loved Tony too much to do that. I couldn't live without him, despite his flaws. I would try and fail again and again before I ever gave up on him.

* * *

Stepping out of the elevator unto the top floor, I prepared myself mentally for the conversation to come. My heels click as I walk on the marble floor, I set my purse on the couch while looking out the window.

"Pepper?" I change the direction of my body to the kitchen, facing Tony who had a drink in his hand.

"Tony."

"When did you get back?" He feigned not knowing about my arrival.

"Don't pretend you didn't know, I'm sure you were the very first to know I caught a flight back."

"You got me."

"Yeah…" I trail off, not knowing how to start the next part of this.

"Tony?" "Pepper?" We speak at the same time, he holds his hand out.

"By all means go first." I nod slowly.

"I did a lot of thinking while I was gone, and then I talked about it. And then thought about it all over again. I know that I have conditions that you can't meet." He opens his mouth to protest. "Let me finish. You have things that you absolutely won't change and I can't seem to let you do it freely. We both have things we just won't give up, but I decided that it isn't worth losing you over. I will let you make your suits and work on your projects, as long as you keep proving that you love me as much as you say you do." He opens and closes his eyes quickly in awe.

"Wow, Pepper I did not expect that." He walks up to me and places his hands on my hips. "Did I ever tell you how perfect you are?"

I laugh loudly "A few times." He looks at me with a look of admiration, then guilt.

"I'll stop working on the suits." Tony insisted.

"No you won't." I tell him firmly. "But it doesn't matter, as long as you keep loving me." He peers down at me, a sexy smirk on his face.

"Then that's exactly what I'll do." He bends down to kiss me roughly, the need and desperation was felt from both of us. He bent down to lift me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. Walking us down the hall to our room, he kicks the door shut behind him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to all who review, you all are awesome!**

 **-Hannahg**

 **Arabella**

My talk with Pepper was easy enough, I feel like she knew her answer all along. She just wanted reassurance that she was doing the right thing. When it comes to love I don't know if there is a right or wrong answer, it's all a risk, leave or stay, you just have to hope that in the end you made the decision that you can live with.

I was already back in my room, Bucky had left a note.

 _Gone with Steve for lunch, I'll see you when I get back._

 _-Bucky_

Smiling at the note, I set it back down. I'm glad that he and Steve are spending more time together, bonding is always good. Hopefully Bucky will have the same mentality for me when Pepper wants me to go with her.

I had no clue what to do now. Pepper was most likely with Tony, Bucky with Steve, and I already ate. I didn't want to lay down or watch T.V either. Suddenly a thought came to my mind.

'I can go to S.H.I.E.L.D. and spar with the agents.'

I hadn't done that in a while, it was a good way to fight off the boredom. I changed into workout clothes, last time I was in regular attire and it really wasn't comfortable. I headed out, phone in hand, to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building. It only took about 15 minutes to get there, and like before, I went straight to director Fury's office. He was sitting same as the first time that I came, paper work in front of him. He looks up at me with a bored look.

"To what do I owe a second pleasure?" He asks, looking back down at the work.

"Same as the first pleasure, and I do mean the exact same." I stated back.

"It went well last time, so you can do it again. I'll get Agent Hill to call the same agents. You can meet them in the same room too." Fury replies blandly, obviously impartial to my want to spar with his agents.

'Well that's better than him not liking it.'

I promptly leave his office and go to the practice room. I set my stuff in a corner and I wait for the agents to get there, taking a seat against the wall that's facing the entrance. It wasn't even five minutes when Taylor, Knight, and Moore walked in, smiles on their face. They place their bags and towels down with my things.

"Hey Arabella, we knew you'd come back." Agent Knight greeted first.

"Of course, with fighting like that I'd have to come back and do it all over." I approach them, and shake their hands, then take a step back basically saying 'let's do this'. Getting the message, Moore stepped forward first, taking the chance to fight me before the other two.

* * *

Walls with holes, mats torn up, and a broken light later Knight was fighting me now. This whole session was extremely intense, after we fought all that time the first time around, we knew what the other could bring to the table. I throw a leg to knight, who blocks it successfully, I see Taylor and Moore sparing from the corner of my eye.

Now it was a double fight. I swing my body around knight, twisting his arm and throwing an open hand hit to his chest. He retaliates by swiping my legs and pining me to the ground. All of the sudden Taylor flies over our heads, and Knight turns around to block Moore's kick. I slip out from under him, facing Taylor as he tries to punch me in my side. I kick him to the wall, his elbow creating a hole in the wall. I'm pushed from behind, and I flip back to press my arm against Moore's throat.

She presses her arm to mine. In a split second were both being flipped on our backs? I stand up quickly and see everyone already looking at each other. We're watching, seeing who would be the first to attack.

"Wow."

We all snap our heads to look at the door way. Steve and Bucky are standing there, Steve looking more than impressed. Bucky looking a bit angry. I relax my stance.  
"How long have you been standing there?" I question mildly annoyed that we had an audience.

"Long enough to see that this was incredible." Steve retorted.

"Or very dangerous." Bucky added, his posture defensive; examining our damage. I gaze around the destroyed room.

'We might have took it too far.'

"Not dangerous, we wouldn't have really hurt each other." Taylor speaks up. Bucky glares at him, not bothering to respond to his comment.

"It's cool guys, I'm tired anyways I'll see you another time." I call out to the agents, they nod their heads at me, and proceed to gather their things from the corner. Moore comes back and hands me a piece of paper then leaves the room too. I look down at it, it's her number.

'Good now I won't have to go to Fury next time.'

I go and grab my bag, I stand in front of Bucky and Steve. Quickly sending a message to Moore so that she had my number stored on her phone. I look up to them once I was done.

"We can go now."

"Yeah let's go." Steve says, walking in the direction of the exit. Bucky lets me slip my hand into his, he holds on tightly. I can tell he's upset because he hasn't spoke to me yet. We walk in silence until I gather the courage to say something.

"What's wrong Bucky?"

"Nothing." He replies shortly.

"Well obviously something is because you won't even talk to me." He sighs.

"You weren't there when Steve and I came back, and I was worried. Then Steve gets a call from Tony, who says to go pick you up from S.H.I. . I come and see you fighting with not one, but three agents. I don't want you to get hurt Arabella, not when I can stop it." We continue to walk as we speak.

"I get that Bucky, but you have to understand. I'm just like you, I can fight and train and I'll be fine." I insist to him, trying to make him understand that it won't hurt me.

"I know but you don't have to."

"You're not always going to be around to swoop in and save me, I can save myself." He stops in his tracks, pull me by the arm to his chest.

"I just wish I could save you from all the pain that comes with it."

"I wish I could save you too." We stare at each other, a hint of sadness fills the air. This was about so much more than our current situation. It was about all those years ago, and all the pain that we both went through. Nothing could have saved us from that.

"Come on let's catch up to Steve, I'm sure he's wondering where we are." I beckon him, breaking us out of our trance. Steve is waiting outside the building, a smile comes to his face when he sees us.

"Maybe next time you can give your big brother a fight?" He remarks playfully.

"Oh sure, as long as you are ready to get your ass kicked."

Once we made it home, JARVIS let us know that Tony wanted us all upstairs to celebrate.

"He's only celebrating because Pepper came back." I comment on the way up.

"Pepper came back?" Steve asked surprised.

"Yeah she's been back since yesterday."

We stepped out of the elevator and heard music going. Tony was sitting with Pepper, Natasha by Bruce and Clint in a chair next to the couch.

"Hey! Finally, we've been waiting for you!" Tony said loudly. I gave a wave, and sent a knowing look to Pepper. I sat on the love seat, Bucky sitting next to me, tucking me into his side. Listening to everyone talk and laugh, seeing Pepper here with Tony. Watching as Natasha and Clint teased Steve, and even Bruce arguing with Tony. It all felt right, like this was exactly where I was supposed to be. Everyone here was a family, blood or not.

Too bad this feeling couldn't last forever.


	20. Chapter 20

**Arabella**

At night we all decided to watch a movie in Tony's home theater. Pepper got to pick it, since tony is on a please Pepper binge. This one is much longer than previous ones, most only lasting two or three days. It's been a whole week since she's been back, and he hasn't stopped letting her choices be the first thing he thinks about and final decision too.

Incredibly she chose the first Godfather for us to watch, claiming that watching a three hour long movie was a perfect way for all of us to spend more than five minutes in a room without drinking involved. Nobody dared protest against her, truthfully we all wanted for her to be happy. Many times she went out of her way for us, she was a very giving person.

So we all plopped into a seat, and waited for the movie to start. Bucky was playing with my hair as I laid my head on his lap, wanting to be as comfortable as possible for a lengthy movie. The music started and names began to pop up on the screen.

I turned to lay on my stomach, my side becoming sore. Bucky's metal hand traveled down my back, finger tips grazing where my shirt had lifted just a bit. His touch made my skin raise up, and I shivered lightly. I move my head to lay facing his stomach and peer up at him fondly. He smirks down at me, and I take his right hand and press a kiss to his fingers. Bucky strokes my cheek lovingly and I turn my head back to the movie.

Buzz* Buzz* I pull my phone from my pocket and check the caller id.

 ** _Moore_**

'What could she possibly be calling me for this late?'

"Hold on I got to take this." I whisper to Bucky, getting up from his lap and heading out the room. Once I was in the hall I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"A...arabella?" she said shakily.

"Moore what's wrong?"

"Someone's after me, I need help!" She's crying now, pleading to me desperately.

"Who?!" I demanded.

"I don't know, but I think they know I'm with S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Where are you now?"

"By this coffee shop called Joe's coffee, please hurry!" I knew exactly where that was, having to pass it many times on my way to the S.H.I.E.L.D. building.

"I'll be there soon, stay where you are." I hang up promptly, running to the elevator without saying anything to anyone. I hear a person call my name from down the hall, but my minds running too fast for me to recognize or reply. Moore was a good agent and good friend, I wouldn't let someone hurt her.

Racing out of the building I make a right, it was a good thing that it was late, no one to run into. I see the sign for the coffee shop as I get closer. I stop when I reach the entrance.

"Moore?" I call out.

"Over here." I hear a voice from the ally besides the building, she must've hid. I walk around to the side, it's dark and I can't see anything.

"Where are you? It's me." I try to pin point her location. I walk deeper into the ally way.

Suddenly hands grab me from behind holding my arms close to my sides so I can't move. I struggle trying my best to break free.

"I would calm down if I were you." A man suggests, Moore steps out into plain sight, tears pouring down her face, a gun to the temple of her head.

"I'm ss..sorry Arabella." She stutters an apology. My eyes widen as I realize what was going on.

"Who are you?" I look closely at his face. "Knight?!" I almost yell in shock.

"It doesn't matter who I am, more who I work for. You see Arabella your creator wants you back."

My heart drops to my stomach, and I intake a small sharp breath.

"Then just let her go, she has nothing to do with this." I argue to Knight.

"Ah you see that's were your wrong, she has a lot to do with this. You wouldn't want your actions to cause her death, so if we keep her with us it insures your cooperation."

'Damn it, he's right. I wouldn't let her die for my escape.'

To prove his point, he puts a finger on the trigger of the gun and pulls it slightly.

"Fine! I'll do what you want, just don't hurt her!"

"That's the spirt!"

"How could you betray S.H.I.E.L.D. like this? How could you do this to Moore?!"

"First off I was never truly a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, I infiltrated it once we learned that Captain America was unfrozen. Secondly I don't really care about Moore, although she can definitely throw a punch. She just happened to be the person who had your number on her phone, making it the perfect way to get you out here."

He paused for a second, laughing an ironic laugh. "This was all too easy! When I saw Captain America there to get you, I knew you couldn't be just anyone, so I told headquarters and sure enough here is asset 125. Status incomplete training. So they had me find a way to bring you back, and it all just fell in place so simply."

"Let them go!" I hear a familiar voice shout behind us, the person holding me turns us around and cocks a gun to my head. Bucky is standing there, livid and ready to kill.

"Let's not make any rash decisions." Knight says mockingly.

"Leave them, take me. I'm sure that Hydra would love to have me back."

"No." I whisper quietly.

"Well I would, but Hydra doesn't want the Winter Solider, I already checked. No, they want her. She was put on the shelf long before we could complete the final stages of her training, making her more valuable to us in the moment. Don't worry, well come back for you too." Knight explained with a condensing tone.

I watch Bucky, he has a blank face no emotions to betray his thoughts. He takes a step forward and Moore cries out behind me.

"Don't! They'll kill her if you take me." I yell out in desperation. Bucky doesn't take another step. I see him clench his fist.

Suddenly there are sounds of boots hitting the floor, and men in uniforms flooded all around us. They weren't American.

"Well that's our cue to leave. I'll see you at another time Winter Solider."

I feel myself being dragged back, my eyes stay on Bucky.

"I love you." I mouth it to him, his face turns into one of pain.

My eyes stay on him until a door shuts in my face, making his form leave from my vision.

We were taken to a helicopter on a roof nearby, after being thrown in I scoot close to Moore wanting to talk to her.

"Why didn't you fight back? You can defend yourself." I harshly asked.

"They have eyes on my son, he told me they would kill him if I didn't do what they wanted me to. I didn't even tell him I had a son!" She was crying now, I took her hand and held it in mine.

"I understand, it's okay I would've done the same thing." I tell her to calm her nerves. She holds my hand back tightly. I sit back against the chair and sigh. I didn't know if we would get out of this, I could only hope that the team would come for us.

"What's your first name? I've been sparring with you and all I know is your last name."

"Erica. Thank you for saving my life." She speaks lowly.

"Don't thank me yet, we have to get away from these people first."

We don't say anything else after that. There was nothing to say, we didn't know where they were taking us, or how far it would be. I wasn't scared for myself, this not being the first time I had been kidnapped. I was scared for Erica, who knows what they would do to her? If they want me to abide by their rules, they won't do anything.

It was an extremely long time before we landed and bags were placed on our heads, although we refused to let go of each other so they wouldn't separate us. Being led down stairs and into a basement, I could tell because of the sounds, we were thrown into a room. Doors shut loudly and I pulled off the bag fast. Erica had pulled off her bag too, and was looking around our concrete cell. She looked like she was about to panic.

"Look it's going to be okay, just take deep breaths." I instruct her. She did as I said, and was starting to be relaxed.

"We are going to make it out of here one way or another, either the Avengers will come for us, or I'll find a way out before they do."

"How do you know that?"

"This isn't my first time in this situation, but lucky for you I know a lot now that I didn't back then."

She puts her head on her knees, and I lean on the wall. I did know that Hydra needed time to prep for these things, even if this was a planned out event. We had a good hour or so before someone would come back.

I stood up and looked out the small window opening in the door. There wasn't much to see on either side of the hall, just more concrete and doors. No one walked by at all, and there could be no steps heard from anywhere. That confirmed my thought of how long we'd have.

'Please hurry Bucky, I don't want to have to do this on my own.'


	21. Chapter 21

**Bucky**

I couldn't believe they took her from me. Why didn't she come to me for help? I could've saved her friend, or been the one to be taken instead.

'She wasn't going to let you fight her battles.'

I should've done more or fought those men. But then that women would have died and I know that Arabella wouldn't have forgiven me or herself for that. I rushed back to the team as soon as I couldn't see her anymore, they would definitely help get her back. I got back to the theater room, and slammed the door open.

"Arabella's been taken."

Everyone had a look of disbelief on their faces. The movie that was playing shuts off and they come and crowd around me.

"Where the hell were you when this happened?" Tony demanded angrily. Steve stepped up, holding his hands up palms out.

"Hold on Tony. What's going on?" Steve looked at me seriously.

"Hydra took Arabella and one of the agents as leverage for her. We have to find her!" I explain fast, wanting to start looking for her as soon as possible. Steve's face filled with worry and determination. He nodded his head in confirmation.

"Oh really cap, you're not even going to question why the fuck he didn't try and save her then?" Tony remarked with astonishment.

"I was getting to that Tony!" Steve yelled.

"We don't have time for this! Let's go!" I was getting mad at the point, here they are arguing when we could be on our way already.

"Go where? We don't even know where their taking her."

"Look just tell us everything about it, that's a way to start." Natasha tried, becoming the mediator of the group.

I tell them everything that I saw, and what the double agent Knight said. Tony quickly went to his computers saying her needed to look for key information for tracking her down. Everyone besides Pepper suited up, getting ready for a battle with Hydra. Now we all played the waiting game.

I felt myself becoming angry. Hydra took her, from me, again. The love of my life, my rock that held me down to earth. I was feeling desperate and lost without her hand in mine. Her touch could sooth the beast inside, the winter solider. She wasn't here, and that made the side that I didn't like want to come out and find her himself.

I paced in Tony's living room, as did Steve. The whole team was in here, waiting for Tony to come with information on Arabella's whereabouts. I could tell Steve was just as worried as I was, but he did a better job at keeping his emotions in check.

He was trying to be level headed and collected. I couldn't do that, not with her so unsafe and she being my lifeline. I would be calm once she was in my arms again. Until then rage would be what I felt.

An hour passed before Tony came out, suited up and determination on his face. He stood in the middle of the room and looked around.

"Alright so here's the deal, they took her to Moscow, Russia. Also the girl that has being used to bait Arabella was Erica Moore, a S.H.I.E.L.D agent that sparred with her too. They have her son under watch, I already send someone to deal with that. Me by myself I can get there in a few hours, all of us together it's going to take about a day. My choice would be to let me go alone, and I'll get them back here and safe by the next morning."

"No way Stark, I'm not sitting here and doing nothing while I put her safety in your hands." I argue firmly, upset he would even suggest it.

"Right because you did so much when you had the chance." He glared. I felt my resolve falter with his words.

'He's right I should've done more.'

"Hey! No that's not fair Tony. We all would've done the same thing that he did, we couldn't have let an innocent person die. We are all going to go and get her, I agree with Bucky on that, she's my sister I'm going to be there to get her." Steve spoke, finalization in his tone.

Nothing else needed to be said, and we headed out to Tony's private helicopter on his landing pad outside on the porch. I got in and took a seat near the doors, wanting to be the first one out when we get there. I thought of Arabella's nightmare.

 _I watched the T.V a show call How it's Made was on, it was really late now it being 2:30 AM. Arabella was in my arms, her head on my chest. One hand laid on my stomach the other hand gripped my metal arm; that part surprising me. I didn't know that she would take comfort in it, holding it like she would my flesh arm._

 _My throat was dry but I had been waiting to get up and drink some water because I didn't want to wake Arabella. I couldn't take it anymore, so I gently move her to the other side of the bed and made my way to the kitchen to get a drink._

 _I was sipping my water when I hear a cry from our room, I put my glass down and quickly rushed back. I run in to see Arabella thrashing and screaming in pain._

 _"_ _NO! Don't bring it any closer!"_

 _I pulled her into my arms, trying to prevent her from hurting herself._

 _"_ _Arabella! Wake up, it's just a dream." I'm rocking her back and forth. She stops moving and looks up at me._

 _"_ _What a beautiful end to my nightmare." She whispers, I could tell she was still dreaming because she lifted her hand to my cheek like she hadn't seen me in a long time. I don't comment, I simply hold her close, and stroke her hair until I fell asleep too._

The next morning she didn't mention a nightmare, or even seem to realize what on with me there the night before. I didn't bring it up either, deciding to leave it at that. I knew her dream had to do with something of Hydra. When she told me that she was still alive the same way I was, I knew what it meant and that she didn't want to talk about it. It brings me so much anger and grief to know that they had hurt her like me, I didn't want her to go through anything that I did.

When that man told me that she hadn't completed her training I was relieved and terrified. She hadn't been through the worst, but they were planning to put her through it soon if I didn't get her back in time.

I would kill anyone who laid a hand on her, consequences be damned. Without her nothing mattered to me, not a safe life or a life at all.

"Hey Buck, I know that you're worried but we'll get her back." Steve said as he sat down next to me.

"I'm not worried, I'll get her back and I'll kill anyone who stands in my way." I say completely calm. I knew that she's be safe with me soon, one way or another. With that in mind I wasn't anxious or filled with anger, just one mission on my mind.

"You're right about that." Steve commented with blunt certainty. He knew where this was heading, but he wouldn't fight me with on this. Hydra had caused too much damage in our lives they had to pay for everything they did and had to be stopped before they could do more harm.


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you for the reviews! Please continue to do so, I look forward to reading them! -Hannahg**

 **Arabella**

To my great pleasure no one had shown up the whole day to get us. They left us alone, not even bothering to bring us any food or water. I could handle that just fine, Erica on the other hand, not so much. Not being used to these conditions made it hard for her to adapt, but she took it pretty well; keeping quiet about thirst or hunger. I could hear them both, she kept clearing her throat and her stomach was growling continuously.

I wasn't going to beg for anything from Hydra, they would use that against us too. At this point I was certain Erica wouldn't be begging either. I was sure that it had to be night or the next day by now, it was kind of hard to tell being in this cell.

"You think they'll just leave us in here and not come and get us?" Erica asks making me turn my head in her direction.

"Unlikely, I'm surprised they left us alone for this long, but if anything they'll take me alone and leave you."

"No, they can't do that they have to take me too." She said worried.

"Believe me, it's better if they left you." Getting no reply to that, I look up at the wall.

I had to figure a way out soon, time was running out for us and Hydra must have something big planned if it is all taking this long. I heard footsteps drawing near, it had to be for us because no one else was put in a cell here.

'We're about to find out what they want.'

The heavy door groaned as it opened, and two guards stepped in. They didn't say a word as they picked us up by our arms, I kept my eyes locked with Erica's insuring her I wouldn't let anything happen to her. We were dragged to another concrete room, but this one had fencing squaring the area off, the metal net went ceiling to floor.

'It's like a cage.'

I see a room overlooking the cage above, it's protected by glass and there are people in white coats looking down on us.

"Now that our Solider and new asset are here, we can start the evaluation process." A man with glasses is pressing a button; allowing us to hear him speak.

"Evaluation process?" I yell up at him.

"Yes, you have been gone so long we need to see if your previous training is still up to date. Her, on the other hand, skills need to be observed to see if she is ready for the field." He explains, he turns his back on us before I could comment, and a buzz comes from a side gate.

A large bulky man walks out, bigger than both of us.

"Only two of you come out alive, so do your best. If you think of not following orders, just keep in mind what you have a stake."

I knew exactly what they were trying to do, force me to fight with my all so Erica wouldn't die; therefore they get to see all of my skills. Apparently they haven't been told that Erica was a more then decent fighter.

"Go." He commands from above.

"Alright Erica, just fight like we would when we're sparing, only this time we're on the same team." I explain to her quickly, as the bulky man approaches us. I wait till he gets close enough to throw my leg out, making his go back a few inches. He charges again, flinging me against the fence.

'He's a lot stronger then both of us, meaning well have to use our speed and size against him.'

I watch as he makes a grab for Erica, and she avoids it. I jump up and run up to them, throwing my body over his head; using his shoulders for leverage. Once I'm planted on my feet between them I throw a punch to his face, ducking when he throws one back. Erica takes the opportunity to hit him on the side, making him go to defend the hit.

I use my leg to hit his other side right after, and he uses his arm to wrap around it and push me to the floor. Erica is thrown on the ground too, and he approaches her once more. Lifting her up by the neck and choking her.

'I can't let her die!'

Acting fast, I stand behind the man and kick the back of his legs in, making his fall to his knees and release his hold on Erica's throat. He tries reach back to grab me on sides, but I take a hold of under his jaw. Erica stands in front, placing her hands on either side of his head.

We both twist our hands in a jerking motion in the same direction simultaneously. As we let go of his head, his body drops to the floor at our feet.

Standing there panting, sweat dripping down our faces, we look at each other with blank looks. There was no emotion to express what we just did.

"Very good! You won't have to undergo as much training as we had anticipated."

A guard comes up from behind me, and I don't struggle as he drags me out of the room. I look forward as the man forces me to face walking direction, I see Erica already ahead of me. She doesn't fight them either. Being thrown back into the cell, we sit in a corner. The weight of what we did comes down on us, the tension in the room high.

"You know I had never…" Erica starts trailing off to find the right words. "Done that before. I was sent on missions with S.H.I.E.L.D. but it was never to kill." She starts crying at this point.

"Don't blame yourself, you just did what you had to survive for you and your son." I say the words, but I don't believe them. They were for her sake, I couldn't have her breaking down when the time to escape was near.

If we wait for a guard to come, maybe there will be two, we can knock them out and make a run.

'Do I even know where the exit is?'

Yes, down the hall take a right, then a left, up the stairs and outside, I counted the turns.

'We'd have to be extremely quite or they could kill Erica's son.'

Then a stealth attack inside of the cell, it's dark enough in here. This planned had to go through and follow out perfectly, any mistake could jeopardize everything.

Turing to a sniffing Erica, I quietly explain my plan. She understands what has to be done, and we have nothing else to do but wait for the guards to come again.

It was a good three hours before the came to get us again. When they did Erica and I were in side corners ready to make our escape plan happen. As soon as they stepped into the cell, I jumped up pulling him into the corner and knocking his head against the wall. I stepped over the guard's body, and watched as Erica came up beside me.

I grab her hand, knowing she has no idea where to go. We head straight down the hall taking the right, there are people in that hall so I hurry and lead Erica to a room and duck down below the window. I wait for the group of women to walk down the hall and around the corner, I then go back into the hall and make my way to the end with Erica following closely.

We make the left and find no one there, the stairs directly in front of us. Freedom just a hall away. We don't waste any time running toward the exit. Just as we were about to reach the door, a person steps right in my way, and grabs me by my arms. They put a hand over my mouth as I scream and try to break free.

'We were so close.'


	23. Chapter 23

**Arabella**

"Arabella it's me!" I calm down slightly as I recognize the voice, my chest heaving. I pull Natasha's hand from over my mouth.

"Natasha? Did you come alone?"

"No everyone else is here too, they're all finishing up." I got what she meant, this Hydra base was not going to have any people to occupy it once we left. I look behind me to see Erica leaning against the wall, relief of her face.

"Let's get you both to the helicopter, you can wait for us to be done." I shook my head lightly.

"No, you can take Erica. I'll stay and help."

"Listen to me Arabella, I don't want you out there fighting Hydra when you just escaped, and you need to recuperate. Plus Bucky would kill me if I let you go into this building, by yourself, with a chance of being taken by someone trying to run. He was so torn up about it, don't make him even more worried."

I could tell that she was telling me this to play on my emotions, but it was working a lot more than I thought it would.

"Fine, just hurry up I have to get Erica back to her son."

"Right." she turns to Erica. "By the way your son is just fine, we took care of all of it." Erica smiled huge and thanked her with great gratitude.

She led us to the helicopter that was nearby in a clearing in the woods. We hopped in and took a seat on the chairs, it was then I realized how I tired I was, I hadn't slept the whole time we'd been here. My nerves were on high alert.

I put my head back for support and closed my eyes, but I still couldn't sleep. I felt that I missing something to be completely relaxed to fall asleep. Looking over at Erica, I see that she had already fell asleep. That was good, she needs it. Natasha sat in silence, only with us to make sure nothing happened.

"Where were you these past few weeks?" I ask her quietly

"Had a thing to do for S.H.I.E.L.D. but I'll be back for a while now." She replies, eyes on where we had come from through the woods. I nod despite the fact I knew she wasn't looking, my eyes graze over a sleeping Erica once more.

I stare out the window, I try not to think of the fact how I ruined Erica's life. If it weren't for me she would've been at home with her son, and he would have never been in danger. This was more than my fault, I was the cause and reason. I killed another person today, and it was my fault that Erica was there to do it too.

I lost count of how many people I've killed over the years with Hydra, but I remember all of them distinctively. I couldn't tell you a number, but I could describe how each and every kill went.

The door to the helicopter slid open, and Bucky was the first in, I could see the rest of the team behind him. He quickly sat beside me and pull me onto his lap, burying his face into my hair and holding me securely in his arms. I curled into a ball and let myself feel protected by him. After a minute, he took my head from his chest and put my face between his thumb and first finger, moving my head side to side to examine any damage.

He moved his hands and eyes all over me, trying to find a wound. Once he was content with my wellbeing, he pulled me in for a hard kiss.

"I love you." Bucky says against my lips, the desperation and love were heard loudly. It was the first time he said it since he remembered.

"I love you too." Responding with equal vigor. He put a hand on my head, making me lay back into the crevice were his shoulder and head meet.

I felt the helicopter turn on, and us being lifted into the air. It wasn't long after that till I fell into a dreamless sleep, feeling protected and loved by the one person who loved me in a way no other could.

I woke up the feeling of being picked up under my knees and head and then carried. I peek through squinted eyes, to see that we were on Tony's balcony and that Bucky was carrying me. I didn't try to get down or speak, I just moved my hand to his chest gripping the fabric of his shirt in my hand tightly. He carried me all the way to our room, only setting me down once he got to my side of the bed.

I didn't bother to get up and change; still too tired from the day's events. Bucky went to the closet and brought back another blanket, laying it over me. He got to his side of the bed by the door, and slipped under the blanket with me after taking off his shirt and pants.

Bucky pulled me to him, my back on his chest. He slipped his right arm under my head, and threw his left one over my waist. I felt his hair tickle my face a little, but I didn't mind, I had missed that when I was away. Just as I was about to fall back asleep a thought came to my head.

"Bucky did Erica get back to her son?" I ask out of nowhere.

"Yeah don't worry about that Steve took her, sleep." He assured me.

I nodded my head lazily snuggling into Bucky's arm, before my eyes closed shut again, bring me back to sleep.

Shooting up from bed, my nerves on high alert, and my breath fast. I looked around the room fast, thinking I was still with Hydra.

'This isn't a cell.'

That's right I- we- were rescued last night from that place. Relief flooded through me, and I realized that Bucky was sitting up with me, talking to me.

"Arabella, are you ok?" worried tones laced his question.

"Um yeah, just thought that I was somewhere else." I reply, trying to regulate my breathing. Looking down at my clothing I see how dirty I was, I could feel it in my hair too. "I need a shower, now."

I push the blanket off me and get up, I grab a change of clothes on the way to the bathroom. Once inside I turn the water on to warm, as I was about to take off my clothes I notice Bucky standing in the door way.

"What are you doing?" I ask unsure.

"I'm just going to sit here with you that's all." He explains to me like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well could you at least turn around while I take my clothes off?"

"It's nothing I haven't seen before." He smirked when he said this.

"Yeah like 70 years ago! Just turn around." I exclaim bashfully, I don't know why I was so nervous for him to see me naked. He was right he had seen it before, but there were a few scars now. I know it was silly to think he would reject me because of them; he had plenty of scars himself. It was the part of me of the 1930's talking, thinking a man couldn't possibly love a body with scars.

It was just going to take some time before I could work up the courage to let him see all of me. For now I'll just tell him to turn around. Bucky kept a smirk on his face as he turned around, facing the bedroom. I quickly took my clothes off and hoped under the steamy water.

"Alright you can turn around now." I hear footsteps coming into the bathroom and the toilet cover put down.

'He must've sat down.'

"So what do you want for breakfast?" I question, feeling kind of awkward with the silence.

"How about eggs and pancakes?" he shoots back fast, indicating he had already thought about it.

"Okay, I'll have to check if we have enough pancake mix. If not I can run to the store real quick." I was ready to get back to normal life.

"No that's okay, if we don't have enough mix we can just have something else."

"You sure the store's not far."

"Yes! Uh yes I'm sure." He answers roughly.

"Fine, fine."

'Okay now he's being weird.'

Being done with showering I ask Bucky to hand me my towel from the rack, poking my hand out to grab it. I dried off and stepped out of the shower. I see Bucky looking at me.

"Could you?" I point to the door, asking for some privacy to get dressed. He nods and steps out, I shut the door behind him.

"Don't lock it." He calls out. I roll my eyes. why would that possibly matter? I don't lock it anyways, despite my feelings toward his request. I slipped on my clothes and brush my hair out, then tie it up into a low bun.

I walk out and see him waiting for my by the door, I go past him and head to the kitchen. Bucky is right there with me. I pull out all the things to make our breakfast, and he sits on the kitchen stool in front of the sink. As I put the eggs into the pan, I look around the kitchen a notice a small package on the counter by the fridge.

I grab and open it, a new phone with a note was in it.

 _I know you needed a new one, so I took the liberty to get this for you. It has all your old contacts on it. No need to thank me. – Tony_

"Wasn't going to thank you anyways." I say out loud under my breath.

"What's that?" Bucky asks, already next to me. I picked up the phone to show him.

"Gift from Tony."

"Oh."

I set the phone down and go back to the eggs. Seeing that they're almost done I go to the cabinet and pull two plates out. Shoveling done eggs onto each plate, I set them down on the high top counter and sit down, Bucky following my lead.

"So I was thinking we could stay in and watch T.V today." He asked between bites.

"Sure, I just have to go and check on Erica first, then I'm up for it." Setting is fork down loudly he turns to me.

"Steve already took care of that. Can't you just call her, or wait for another day to see her?" He presses. I gave him an unsettled look. "I just got you back to me, I don't want you to go anywhere."

So that's what this was about. Although I was a little bothered he wouldn't let me go anywhere I understood. He watched me get kidnapped and couldn't do anything to save me then. I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed.

I slip out of my seat and stand between his legs, putting his face between my hands.

"Okay I won't go anywhere today, it'll be just you and me." He smiles lightly and places his hands on my hips. I tuck his hair behind his ear, enjoying its softness. Bucky pulls me closer for a kiss, pushing his lips against mine deeply. His hand slips under my shirt, and fingers run over the skin of my stomach. Shivering lightly, I pull away from the kiss.

"How about that T.V?" I suggest. He doesn't say anything as he stands up, taking me by the hand back to the couch. We settle in for a day of random shows and cuddling.


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you for the reviews, always happy to read them. -Hannahg**

 **Arabella**

It has been a month since I got back and I felt so suffocated. I understood Bucky's intentions at first, his need to be around me constantly and his wish for me to not go out. I did all that he wanted me to, and I never went anywhere without telling him and having him go along with me. I could deal with it for the first two weeks.

Then it just became too much. I was getting frustrated that I had to ask him if I wanted to go somewhere, or I couldn't just go alone and get some time to myself. He would flip out of I just went upstairs to Tony's without letting him know. After putting up with it for so long I demanded that he let me go, by myself, to have coffee with Pepper, Natasha, and Erica at a Starbucks nearby.

Erica had become a good friend of mine, and an even better friend of Steve's since we got back. When I had the chance I'd visit her and make sure her and her son, Caleb, were doing fine and had everything they needed. They would also visit us in return, Caleb loved spending time with heroes, and the team loved having him. Erica would either stay with me or head over to Steve's floor and hang out with him for a while. Although they both denied it, I could sense something more than friends in the midst.

Trying to tell Bucky that I was having lunch with the girls was hard. At first he quickly rejected it telling me that if he couldn't come then it wasn't going to happen. I got so mad that I threw a pot that I was washing at the wall next to him. In a deadly calm voice I proceeded to tell him I wasn't asking for his permission, just telling him my plans for later.

Bucky got mad at that a stormed out telling me to do whatever I wanted. I didn't get mad or follow him to argue, he could be mad. I was going to do something without him for the first time in a long while.

So here I am sitting in Starbucks with Erica Natasha and Pepper, sipping a frappe and listening to Pepper talk about her vacation in Costa Rica.

"It was beautiful, the beach, the island, the culture. I would do it again, just not for that long alone." She told us.

"That sounds amazing, with getting back to work they've been observing me and interrogating me nonstop about Hydra. I could really use a vacation." Erica commented, exhaustion clear on her face. Natasha gave a simple smile, seemingly thinking about that vacation

"I'm with that." I say. "So Pepper how are you and Tony?" I continue.

"Were good, surprisingly since my acceptance of his hobbies, he's been really sweet." She has a small blush on her face, a loving look in her eyes. She closes her eyes and smile, then opens them and asks me

"Bucky? How has it been since you got rescued?" I give her an exasperated look.

"Don't even get me started. He has been smothering me, hell I had to argue with him about coming here. Needless to say he wasn't happy about it."

"I can understand where he's coming from, since I got back I have hardly let Caleb out of my sight. It's like I'm afraid that he'll just disappear, or Hydra will come back to do what they said." Erica confided.

"But that's different." I protest.

"Not so much, when you love someone more than yourself, it's natural to be so protective and overbearing when the risk of losing them was too close for comfort." Natasha reasoned with a matter-of-fact tone.

"I agree, Tony has had his times too. They stop eventually, you just need to actually talk about it."

They were right, I hadn't even sat down with Bucky and told him how I was feeling. He had to understand where I was coming from, just the same way I've been understanding with him.

When I got back to my floor, Bucky was in the living room watching a movie. I move to stand on the side of the couch, seeing if Bucky would turn his head to look at me. When he didn't I let out a loud sigh, and took a seat on the chair by the coffee table.

"Bucky?" I try, he doesn't respond. "Fine you don't have to look or talk, but you are going to listen. I'm not going to apologize for going out for coffee, but I will say I'm sorry for the way I reacted in our conversation. I have just been feeling suffocated lately, I just needed some space." He still doesn't say anything, his eyes still focused on the screen.

"I get it. You were scared of losing me, and you want to keep me close so we won't ever be in that situation again. But sometimes I just need some space, and to be able to do things on my own." After I spoke he sighs, turning his head to look over at me. He stares at me for a second then extends his hand out, beckoning me to go over to him.

I get up from the chair and take his hand. He pulls me around and sits me down on his lap, kissing the back of my hand.

"I know that I've been really overprotective lately. You are my everything, the reason my heart beats." He places my hand on his chest. "The reason I get up in the morning, and why I even have the will to live. Without you I am nothing. I don't ever want to lose you, physically or emotionally. So I won't be how I've been, just promise me that you'll at least tell me where you'll be going." Bucky reasons, and tucks my hair behind my ear.

'He's amazing.'

I nod eagerly, smiling up at him. I lean in for a loving kiss, biting his lip gently. He growls at me playfully, and pulls my hair gently. I move to sit facing him on his lap and I start pecking kisses all over his face.

"I love you." I declare when I finish kissing his face, gathering his hair and moving it behind his shoulders.

"I love you too." He says seriously, caressing my cheek. He pulls me in for another kiss, this one deeper. His tongue traces my bottom lip, and I grant him access. Tongue slipping into my mouth to explore; I move my hand under his shirt to feel the skin of his hard stomach.

Bucky backs out of the kiss and moves his hands to the hem of my blouse, just as he was about to lift it up a ding comes from the Elevator.

"Mrs. Barnes, Mr. Rogers has arrived." JARVIS speaks.

I move away from him and try to sit next to him on the couch, but he doesn't let me. He holds me closer to him, securing me against his chest.

"Hey, so Erica is here and I wanted to know if you guys wanted to have dinner with us." Steve asks as he rounds the back of the couch to stand in front of us. His face goes to surprise as he looks at our disheveled states. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No not at all Steve, and we would love to have dinner with you guys." I answer quickly, trying to make it as normal as possible.

"Right, um just uh be down around 6:00." He tells us flustered, making his way to the exit. His reaction makes me giggle, and I watch as the lift doors close, Steve refusing to make eye contact. My giggle turns into a full blown laugh.

"It's not that funny." Bucky states with a playful glare.

"Oh yes it is." I disagree with more laughing. I pat his arm. "Come on let's get ready, when I got back it was 4: 40. I really want a shower too." I get up from his lap and head to the room, I can hear him mumbling under his breath and footsteps behind me.


	25. Chapter 25

**Bucky**

To say I was annoyed for the past few days would be right on point. No matter what I did, or where I took Arabella, we couldn't seem to get any privacy. Someone was always coming in, and not when we are just relaxing and watching T.V. It wasn't just about being cock blocked 24/7, the privacy you would expect to get with having a whole floor to yourself does not come with it apparently.

At first I blamed in on mere coincidence, then it just came to a point where it had to be deliberate. As soon as I hear Tony's talking computer speak, JARVIS, I knew someone was about to interrupt us once again. I've been very sexually frustrated for days now. I could tell it was getting to Arabella too; she had become snappier when answering to the interrupting person.

Once again being stopped in the middle of a steamy session, Arabella and I were requested by Pepper, who instead of just asking JARVIS to tell us decided to come up herself, to go on a night out with everyone.

"Yeah definitely, we wouldn't want to miss team bonding." Arabella answered, I could hear a subtle tone of sarcasm.

"Great, just be ready in an hour." Pepper told us totally oblivious to her tone, before leaving shortly after.

"Do you even want to go?" I question, wanting to just stay home and finish what we started a days before. I watched her face from my side of the couch, she jumped away from me when Pepper came in.

She scratched her head. "Yes and no. Let's just go for a little and come back early." Arabella offers. Well might as well, she already said yes.

"Fine." I said a little reluctant. She slides closer to me and kisses me on the cheek, I don't move to kiss her back in fear that if I do we won't be going anywhere tonight. She gets up from the couch and walks to the hall way. I don't get up to follow her, deciding to stay how I was dressed. It would be nice to have some privacy, not being bothered by anyone or called by JARVIS.

Arabella walks back out of the hall, dressed in skin tight jeans and a tucked in black tank top. She passes me and keeps walking.

'This is going to be a long night.'

Suddenly an idea pops into my head, I blurt it out.

"We should get our own place." Arabella stops walking to the kitchen, turning to me and giving me a sideways look.

"I was just thinking the same thing."

"You were?"

"Yeah, I mean S.H.I.E.L.D. has given us both money for things like that, and I think it would be nice for it to be just me and you." I get up from my spot on the couch and make my way to stand I front of her.

"Let's do it then."

"I've been looking at this apartment that's thirty minutes from here, it would be perfect." She says, picking up her phone and showing me pictures of it. "We can go tomorrow and see it if you want."

"Fine with me, we should probably get down there if we don't want someone else coming to get us."

She nods at my statement, gathering my wallet and handing it to me, she places her phone in her back pocket. I tuck her into my side, arm around her shoulders.

We all sat at a huge table in a well lite restaurant. Arabella was sitting next to me, talking with Pepper and Natasha. I was listening to Steve, Tony, and Bruce talking about Bruce's last visit to India.

"It wasn't bad Tony, I was in a secluded area helping people with medical." Bruce explains.

"Well it's good you weren't in the city, with the big guy having a short temper it wouldn't have turned out good."

"Oh come on, will you just leave him alone. You always have to find a reason to try and aggravate him, don't you?" Steve interjects.

"I just want to see him tick is all."

"Its fine Steve, I'm used to him by now."

Arabella tugs at my jacket, pulling me away from the conversation. I turn to look at her.

"You ready to go?" she questions me.

"Do you want to go?" I shoot back, actually not bothered by being here. She nods a couple of times.

"Yeah I'm actually pretty tired." I stand up from my seat, taking Arabella by the hand and leading her out from the table.

"You both leaving so soon?" Steve asked, a small frown on his face.

"Arabella's ready to head home and go to bed, I'll catch you later Steve."

"Sure thing Buck."

We exit the restaurant, and I hail a taxi. I didn't want to make Arabella walk back if she was tired, and by the way she was leaning into me I could tell she really was. I open the taxi door, and have her slid in first, before getting in behind her and shutting the door. Telling the driver the address, Arabella leans back on me closing her eyes.

The drive back was less than five minutes, and before I knew it I was walking Arabella into our room. She entered the closet, and came back out with sleep ware on. I think she didn't check what she grabbed because she was wearing one of my black t-shirts. I couldn't make my eyes leave her form.

'She's so sexy in my shirts.'

"Mmmm maybe you should wear my t-shirts more often, I like it." Her face morphs into confusion, she looks down and realization comes across her face.

"Oh! I didn't mean to grab this one."

"Don't worry about it, it looks better on you." I insist, not wanting her to change into her own shirt. She smirks a little.

"I don't know about that, you look pretty damn good in them too." I shake my head playfully, and take off my shirt and jeans.

"Well never mind, you might look better without them." She giggles.

"Just come lay with me." I demand as I get under the covers on my side of the bed. She giggles again, and drags herself to the bed. Quickly she gets under the blanket too and she lays right on my chest; snuggling as close as she can to me.

"You still want to move out?" She asks into my side.

'Did she not want to anymore?'

"Yes, why?"

"Just checking, because I told pepper to get the apartment for me and she says we'll have it by tomorrow." My eyebrows raise up, and I look down at her despite the fact that she wasn't looking back.

"Really? Is that even her job?"

"No, but we got into the conversation and I told her about where we wanted to move and she said she knew some people." She explains sleepily; she was close to being under soon.

"That's great, we'll talk more in the morning love." I tell her, smoothing her hair.

She giggles a little. "You called me 'love', that's a first." She pauses. "I like it." I chuckle under my breath. I hear as Arabella's breathing evens out.

'She finally fell asleep.'

It doesn't take long for me to follow her with listening to her soothing breaths.


	26. Chapter 26

**Arabella**

True to her word Pepper got us the apartment the very next day. Since we had no actual personal belongings, except for clothes, it was a fast and easy move. I thought that all we had to do was get furniture, but it turns out Pepper took care of that too. She called it a housewarming gift from Tony.

Everyone took our move easily, Steve was a little sad but we said he could visit whenever and that he could always make plans with us when he wanted to see us. Tony on the other hand just kept asking if this was the right thing to do, if we were making the right decision, maybe we should wait until the year is over. As we all sat here in Bucky and I's new apartment, that's exactly what he kept on doing.

"Here you don't have JARVIS, and what good is a place without him? None, no good. Why would you want to trade living in a place like mine for something smaller? It's almost too small." Pepper placed a hand on his shoulder, silencing him.

"They will be fine Tony, they are adults."

"Yeah but 90 year olds, which practically makes them helpless and slow. You know they need to be taken care of."

"Super soldiers." Bucky and Steve said at the same time. I had to hold back a laugh, Tony was just being cautious. I get up from next to Bucky and walk to kneel in front of Tony.

"Don't worry Tony, anything happens you'll be one of the first people I call."

"Why not the only first? Who could help you better than I could?"

"I have my brother, remember Steve? Kinda a Super Soldier too."

"He still doesn't have the technology that I do." I laugh at his statement, and take his hand in mine and smile reassuringly. He looks at me blankly and moves his head up to look in front of him. He clears his throat awkwardly.

"Might want to let go now, I didn't bring my suit so your glaring boyfriend might actually win." I was confused at his words, I let go of his hand and turned back to Bucky, who had his glare on Tony.

'Wow of course.' I roll me eyes at his silliness. How could he think that anything could happen with tony? I just take my seat next to him and he immediately grabs my hand. I look around our new apartment. It was perfect for the two of us. Two bedrooms, one bathroom, an open layout of the kitchen and living room, it was a similar layout to my floor at Tony's.

I had almost been reluctant to leave my room there, simply because it had been the only safe place since I woke up. My thoughts on that changed fast when I looked at Bucky, he was my safe place now. I didn't need a room to hide, not when I had him.

Deciding that Bucky and I needed our alone time, Pepper dragged everyone out. After the door shut and no sound could be heard from the hall, I turn to Bucky to see him staring right back at me.

"Officially alone for the first time." I state, a nervous but giddy feeling in my stomach. I was nervous because of the scars I had from many fights.

'What if he doesn't like what he sees?'

My insecurities screamed at me. He didn't reply to what I said, just kept staring at me, his eyes growing dark. My lips grew dry fast, and I licked them lightly and rubbed them together. A low grumble came from his throat and before I could blink he was on top of me, lips on mine, cornering me into the couch. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I felt his hand slip under the front of my shirt and make its way up my stomach.

'He's going to feel them.'

I sit up quickly and pushed him away from me just enough to see his face. I couldn't hold his confused gaze, and I look away to the floor. I took a deep breath before speaking.

"Bucky my body's not perfect; I have a lot of scars, I didn't want you to see them and be surprised." I say lowly, ashamed.

"Look at me." He says. I shake my head, refusing his request. "Look at me." He commands this time, taking my face in his hands forcing me to look at him. He moves back more and releases my face, keeping eye contact with me. Bucky places both hands on the hem of his shirt and pulls it over his head. I see many scars on his shoulder where the metal meets skin. Moving closer to me he grabs my hand and places it on his scared skin.

"You're not the only one with scars." I run my fingers over his shoulder feeling the smooth but bumpy skin. He move his right arm to me and the bottom of my shirt, he keeps his eyes connected with mine trying to find any signs of protest. I let him pull the clothing off of me, and toss it down to the floor. I watch as his eyes look down to my stomach to see the multiple lines that patterned my stomach. I had one large one across my stomach and fine ones scattered all around it.

He doesn't say a word as he traces each scar, and then moves his head down to kiss them softly making me giggle. Bucky pushes me down onto the couch as he placed open mouth kisses up to my chest and back to my lips. Our lips lock passionately, tongues tangling with each other fighting for dominance. Bucky's hand travels down my body. He unbuttons my pants, slowly pulling down my zipper.

The warm water of the bath was soothing, a great trait to along with relaxing in Bucky's arms. Leaning back against his chest I rubbed his arm lovingly.

"It's nice to have our place, isn't it?" I ask him sweetly.

"Yes it is." He replies running his lips on the back of my neck. I hum back to him. We sat in the tub for another moment until I got up from the water and grabbed my towel, I handed Bucky his towel.

"I'm going to make some coffee, you want some?" He accepted my offer and I wrapped by towel around me securing it. It had been three months since Bucky and I had gotten my own apartment and we had settled into a normal routine. In the morning I'd make breakfast and then Bucky would meet Steve for a run, I'd meet with Pepper, Erica, or Natasha for coffee or a spar. Obviously I wouldn't spar with Pepper, just the agents.

It would be afternoon when I and Bucky would see each other, we'd take showers and then have something to eat or drink. Usually we spend the rest of the day together, unless something had come up.

"Did you want to meet up with the group for dinner tonight?" I called from the kitchen to the living room where Bucky was watching T.V.

"Sure, Steve wanted to have a beer anyways."

I pour our coffee into the mugs and mix creamer into it. Brining the steaming cups to the living room, I hand one to Bucky. He takes it from my hand, and I sit next to him, leaning my back against his side legs extended on the couch, to watch the screen.

Suddenly Bucky's phone rang from the seat next to me, I grab it to hand it to him and read the caller id.

 ** _Jessica Rule_**

My eyebrows raised at that.

'Who the hell is Jessica and why is she calling Bucky?'

He picks up the call.

"Hello?" silence "No not tomorrow." Small mumble from the other line on the phone. "I'll let him know." He takes the phone from his ear and ends the call, tossing it to the coffee table. My eyes stayed glued to him as he nonchalantly kept watching T.V.

Bucky finally notices my gaze.

"What's wrong?"

"Who was that?" His face shows his realization.

"Oh, the call. That was just Agent Rule, she wanted to see if Steve and I would be at S.H.I.E.L.D. tomorrow to train." He shrugged.

"Since when do you guys train S.H.I.E.L.D agents?" I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach.

"Just recently Fury asked us to do take on a couple of people, Agent Rule is just one of them."

"Does she need your number for that?" my tone slightly accusing. He chuckles deeply.

"No and I didn't give it to her, the agency did. Don't worry about it Ara, there is no reason to be jealous." I scoffed at his words.

"Oh I am _not_ jealous, I was just asking you about it."

"Mm okay love." He leans in and kisses me deeply, wraps his arm around me and turns back to watch the T.V again.

'So not jealous. Why would he even think that? Why would I be jealous of someone I didn't even know?'

I sank into myself, my thoughts screaming with questions.

'I am not even worried about her at all. I am NOT jealous…. Am I?'


	27. Chapter 27

**Arabella**

"So I already booked everything, we just have to tell the group." Pepper told me excitedly, leaning forward in her chair to me. We were having lunch like we did every almost every day, Pepper and I had been talking about going on a vacation to the Maldives for a couple of weeks now.

She brought it up remembering when Erica had said about wanting a nice vacation from work. So Pepper being Pepper planned the whole trip for all of us, us being me, her, Tony, Steve, Bucky, Bruce, Natasha, and Erica. She took the trip when she knew Erica's son would be spending the week with his Dad.

"Great, so I'll tell Bucky and Erica and you can tell everyone who lives with you." I suggest, she nods in agreement. Her phone beeps a few times and she looks to check the message.

"Alright so I have to finish a few things up at work, but we are all set to leave in three days." She tells me while getting up and grabbing her things. I wave at her as she leaves the restaurant with her phone to her ear.

I sit back in my chair, not planning to head back home anytime soon. I had been doing this a lot lately, going out to lunch or to spar and just taking extra time after everyone leaves. Bucky and I had been fighting a lot, and I knew I couldn't blame it on him. It was mostly me and my insecurities, I would get mad over a phone call and I didn't even know who was on the other line yet. Texting would bother me, and it would end up being Steve.

Ever since that call from that Agent Rule, it's like I didn't trust him. That was crazy because he didn't do anything for me not to, he was just doing his job. I tried to ignore how I felt about her call, but eventually it was bothering me so much that all things started to get to me too. Recently I found it easier to stay away. I didn't stay away from him so I could relax, I did it so he could. The longer I was away, the less he would have to put up with me trying to pick fights for no reason.

Maybe I did do it for me to, so I wouldn't have to feel the jealously or inadequacy that always seemed to pop up at the worst times. I didn't really talk about it with anyone, despite how much time I spent with them. The only person who had an inkling was Erica, and that was because I would spar with her for many hours after our usual set time. I wouldn't do it with Natasha for two reasons. One – she had things to do for S.H.I.E.L.D. Two- she would probably end up telling my brother or Tony. I didn't want that to happen, I just wanted to cope in my own way.

It was times like this that I really missed having my own room. This is what I wanted to hide from, myself. I would destroy him, even the people around me. I'd push them away and fight with them. In the end they would hate me, and I'd hate myself even more. If I had my safe haven still I could've hid in there and not come out to the world.

So in place of that I sat in random restaurants that Pepper would choose for us to eat. I'd sit there for hours, I wouldn't count them, until I had enough courage to go home and face Bucky. Sometimes he'd be there, and sometimes he wouldn't. I didn't ask him where he went, but my thoughts had their own ideas as to where he had been.

It was the worst at night, we'd sleep like we were strangers. Never touching or talking. That's was my fault too, my anger would push him away and we'd sleep on opposite sides. He didn't know, but most nights I cried myself to sleep. On occasion I wouldn't sleep at all, opting to sit in the living room with a useless drink in my hand.

"Miss would you like to order something else?" I look up at the waitress who had a kind look on her face. Pulling out my phone I check the time, I had sat here for another two hours. I shake my head at her.

"No that's fine, I was just leaving." I get up from the table and leave money there for the food I had ordered. Truthfully I could've sat there for another two hours, but I had spent so much time here already.

Walking out to the warm air, I go in the direction of my apartment. It didn't take long to get there and soon I was turning the key in the lock and pushing the door open. I walk in surprised to see Bucky sitting there on the couch, he usually didn't come home until later than me. I contemplated just heading to the room without greeting him.

'You have to tell him about the trip, see if he even wants to go.' I bit the inside of my cheek, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"Hey." His head snaps to where I was standing.

"Hey." He greets coldly. I was about to ask him of the trip when he speaks first. "Where have you been?" I was taken aback by his question. He wouldn't touch that subject before.

"I was with Pepper, we had lunch."

"Lunch? It's 3:00. You guys ate for three hours?" he scoffed at my reply.

"No she left at 1:00, I sat there for two hours." I tell him truthfully, regardless of how unbelievable it sounded. He gives me a dry chuckle.

"Right. You know this whole time I thought that maybe you're upset just because of jealousy, But maybe it's just your guilty conscience telling you I was doing the same thing."

It was my turn to scoff in disbelief. "Oh really? Because it's not like your home for long either or that you've even noticed before."

"No I do come home, I just leave again when I realize you're not coming home any time soon and I have noticed. I just chose to leave it be."

"Yeah just like I leave it alone that you don't come home till 1:00 in the morning." I snap back.

'Crap! I promised myself I'd leave it alone.' I groaned internally. At this point he stands up, stalking towards me to tower in front of me.

"I'm not fucking around or going to bars, no I'm at Steve's. The only reason I do that is to get away from you! " He shouts. My heart drops to my stomach, and I blink rabidly trying to contain the tears in my eyes. An instant look of regret comes to his face. I walk past him heading to our room.

"Don't worry, me too." I say abruptly, not waiting for the apology that was bound to come.

"Really, you do it to get away from me?" He asks, a hurt tone lacing his question.

"No not you, myself." I answer as I slam the door shut locking it. I lean against the door. I breathe heavily, tears pouring down my face. I try to wipe them away, but they just keep falling. I slide down the door, not having enough strength to move away from it and to the bed.

'I should've stayed that extra two hours.'

I sat there for another fifteen minutes, waiting for my crying to subside. When it turned into sniffles, I found the will to get up and lay on the bed. Keeping my back turned away from Bucky's side, I close my eyes to rest them. I knew that there would be no sleep for me. There's a buzz in my pocket, I take my phone out checking the message.

Pepper: Hey Ara, did you tell Bucky and Erica yet?

Great with all of the arguing I forgot the reason I spoke to him in the first place.

Me: No something came up, can you do it for me please?

It wasn't five minutes until I got the reply.

Pepper: Sure thing, is everything okay?

Me: Yeah everything's good, thanks for telling them.

I toss my phone to the night stand, not bothering to wait for a reply from her.

Well at least I wouldn't have to deal with that now. I knew eventually I'd have to face everyone and deal with the underlining problems, but as of right now I just wanted to lay in bed and be peaceful. Well as peaceful as I could be.

* * *

I didn't actually sleep last night, and Bucky didn't bother me either. I had mixed emotions on that, I was glad to have the time alone, but upset he didn't come and check on me. I guess he needed his space too.

I walk out into the living room, no sign of Bucky but a large hole in the wall by the front door.

'I'm surprised I didn't hear that.'

Ignoring it more than I should have, I head to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. I was supposed to meet Erica at 5:00 AM to spar, and lately I wasn't opposed to leaving home so early. The coffee was done quickly and I was pouring it in a to go mug and adding creamer. Grabbing everything I needed for the day, knowing that I wouldn't come back until it was late one again, I headed out locking the door behind me.

The walk to S.H.I.E.L.D. was short, and Erica was already waiting for me outside the building. As I approached she gave me a sheepish look.

"Hey! Look, I can't spar this morning. Fury has me on duty and I have to be there soon, I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn't think I stood you up." She looks nervous for my reply.

"I get it, I'll just do some running and work out. No big deal."

She relaxes at my response, a grin comes clear across her face.

"Great, and by the way so excited for our trip! I will definitely need it after today." I give her a small smile for that, agreeing with her.

'If she knows, then Bucky does too… I wonder if he's even going. Probably not.'

"I'm going to head inside, see you tomorrow Erica." I wave her goodbye as I step into the building.

I head to the gym, which was the opposite way from the practice room. I choose this one instead of the one by the practice room because it had a variety of weights that the other room didn't. There isn't anyone else there when I arrive, that was perfect for me. No distractions or interruptions, just a couple hours of pure training. I set my things down, and head to the weights to start off.

I do different sets and progress the weight till I was sure an hour had passed me by. I do yoga after that, the stretching helping me relax as much as I could with everything going on. This all in the end took me 4 hours, I really dragged everything out for as long as I could. I check the time, 9:22 AM.

Leaving the gym to head home I pass a room of agents sparing, I look in to see a two women and two men. It reminded me of Taylor, Knight and Erica. Well I had to scratch Knight out of it now, him being a Hydra agent. There fighting skills pretty sharp, as I pass the corner eyes still watching them, I see another figure in the back of the room. Bucky. He goes to one of the pairs that are fighting and corrects the girl's hit.

I turn my head quickly and hope that he didn't see me. That's why it was better to stay on my familiar side, I end up seeing the things that I don't want to. One of those Agents were her, Agent Rule.

'I just had to have more weights.'

As I reach the end of the hall I'm positive he didn't see me. That or he just ignored me like I did to him, which would be fair. Shaking that thought from my head, I leave and grab a cab, planning to head to the coffee shop I knew Pepper would be on her way to work. It just gave me an excuse to not go home, gave me a valid reason to go another place.

I knew that it was wrong, running away from my problems, but it was the best way that I coped. After last night's confrontation, I was trusting my coping skills to let there be no fight today.

* * *

 **I won't say too much about Agent Rule, but I will say that as of right now she won't be introduced much into the story. That doesn't mean she won't be back to cause trouble later on. Thank you for reviewing! Please let me know how you're liking it – Hannahg**


	28. Chapter 28

**Arabella**

Two days of avoiding and eluding Bucky. I had seen him only at night, even then we didn't bother to hardly talk. It wasn't an 'I'm really pissed at you and don't want to speak' not talking. More an 'I'm still sort of upset and I'm ignoring you because you're ignoring me.' At this point it was just us being stubborn, I mean we hadn't talked enough or been in the same room long enough to get into an argument.

Today was the day of our vacation starting and, not surprisingly, I woke up alone. I'm very sure Bucky's not even going at this point, and I try not to linger too long on that fact as the taxi pulls up to Tony's building. Taking my luggage that I had packed when I couldn't sleep when I was alone, I go into the building. Pepper had planned for us to use his private air plane. Tony insisted the only way to get to the airport was by taking his helicopter.

I take the lift up to Tony's floor, and step out to see everyone already there. By everyone that meant Tony, Pepper, Bruce, Erica, Natasha, and Steve. Even Bucky. Now that kind of hurt that he didn't bother to wake me up or even tell me he was going, but I guess I couldn't expect too much from him considering the stalemate we were stuck in. Giving my bag to Bruce, who came up to me for it as I got off the elevator, I go directly to Erica, and she's on her phone in the corner. As I approach her she mouths

"Caleb." I nod to her in understanding, and wait for her to be done.

"I love you too sweetie, I'll call you when I have the chance. Bye." She hangs up the phone and smiles to me big. "This is going to be so relaxing, I can't wait to get there. Did you tell Taylor that we wouldn't be able to meet with him? I know I'm his partner but I seriously forgot." She rambles on to me, it makes a small smile slip on my face.

"Yeah I told him yesterday when I saw him in the hall." I assure her.

"Awesome, now we won't have to call him."

"Alright we are ready to go!" Pepper calls from the balcony, motioning for us to get on the helicopter. I follow Erica, we are the last to get on, and I sit on the edge by the window. We get into the air, and all of it starts to remind me of when we were both with Hydra. I grip onto Erica's arm instinctively, ready to fight and protect her from anyone who would hurt us. I feel her turn to me, but I keep my eyes in front of me and my body tense.

"Are you okay?" Erica says to me a bit too loudly, making everyone go silent. I loosen my grip on her arm but I don't let go.

"Yeah I'm fine." I say lowly, meaning for just her to hear but sure that everyone heard it from how silent it was. Not saying anything back, she loops her arm through mine to comfort me. It worked a great deal and I let myself relax as the conversations start back up around me.

The ride to the airport was short, and we were boarding the large private plane. I immediately head for the back and to a seat by the window. There were many beige colored chairs and couches to sit on, tables to eat at and places where everyone could see them.

No one sits next to me, I could only assume because of the 'leave me alone' vibe I was giving off. Although Erica doesn't sit with me, she sits across from me in the other row of two seats. The airplane moves as soon as everyone is situated, we didn't have to wait like we would with a commercial airline.

It's thirty minutes into the flight and I'm swiping through my phone, when I hear a voice talk from next to me.

"Okay what's up with you Aries?" Steve questions, concern obvious.

"Nothing Steve, I'm all good." I reply shortly to him.

"No you're not, you're not acting like yourself."

That statement makes my anger swell up. "Not myself? Well who the hell would know who I am at this point anyways, I didn't spend 70 fucking years locked away by Hydra to know what acting like 'myself' even is because it sure as hell isn't the same girl I was all those years ago." I snap at him. His face turns into one of shock, eyes widen.

I sigh loudly, regretting snapping at him like that. "I'm sorry Steve, it's just been rough lately. Ignore what I said, I didn't mean it." He puts an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm not going to ignore it because you did mean it. That's okay, your right. We can't expect you to be the same as you were before, just remember Aries we are all on the same side here." He pats my arm, squeezes me one time and gets up to head back to his seat.

'Fuck me.' I bang my head back against the head rest, leaving it there once I do.

Steve was right, like always. I seem to be taking it out on the people closet to me lately, it wasn't fair to them. I close my eyes, and try to ignore my surrounding.

'Maybe I was the one who shouldn't have come.'

Once we reached the airport, we had to board a boat to get to our own island. That ride wasn't long and soon we were walking onto the island to get to our guesthouses. I was a little nervous because it was set up for Bucky and I to share a room, and I didn't know how he would take it. If anything I'll tell him that I'd go with Erica instead, she wouldn't mind me and she was by herself too.

As we get to the front desk, I stand to the side and wait for pepper to check us in and hand out room keys.

'I might as well talk to Bucky now, especially since we'll be in the same room.'

I look over at him and see that he's talking with Steve, he's smiling and joking with him. A pang of envy hit me. With Steve he looks so natural and happy, and with me it has been high tense. I decide to leave him alone for the time being, letting him have a moment of happiness with Steve.

Pepper steps in front of me a unsure look on her face, she hands me my room card.

"Do you still want to share a room with Bucky? I can see it's awkward between you two right now." She asks in a low voice. I just nod a yes and give her a fake smile, not wanting to make a scene.

"Let me know if you change your mind."

"Okay." I answer as she walks pass me to give Erica her key. I look down at my own key, and see the room number 402, which wasn't really a room but a whole guesthouse. The slip that the card came in had directions to the house.

"We're neighbors, I have 403." Erica announces from her place beside me that she moved to once she got her card.

"Great, let's go find out where we'll be staying for the week." I pick up my bag and motion for her to follow me. Quickly she picks up her luggage, and rolls it next to me. With the directions from the slip, we find our houses fast and separate with excited smiles on each of our faces.

I open the door and enter the house. It had huge glass windows that showed the view of the ocean water that that the house sat on. I peered around seeing a modern kitchen, a bedroom, and a large living room. There was a porch that you could directly dive off of on the other side of the glass doors.

It all had a modern feel to it, it was completely gorgeous. I hear the door open from behind me, and I immediately go ridged knowing who it was. I turn around to face Bucky, and see him setting down his bag on the floor. He stands up and looks at me, his face not telling me anything.

"If you don't want to share a place I get it, I can room with Erica or someone else." I explain to him, really unsure about how he would want to go about it all. Bucky scoffs softly.

"No, you're not going to go and stay with someone else. You're right where you need to be." He declares, making it clear he was bothered I'd think that.

"Alright." I whisper to him, not confident in my own voice to speak loudly. That wasn't the answer I had expected from him. A knock on the door makes Bucky turn away from me. He opens it and I see Erica standing there. A surprised look on her face for Bucky, she was probably expecting me.

"Um hey Bucky." He greets her back with a polite hello.

Moving to stand in the door way, her eyes find me and a look of relief spreads across her face.

"Arabella, I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink with me. If you're busy we can go another time."

"No not busy, we can go now." I insist, really thankful for a reason to see the place without making it weird with Bucky.

'Here I go again, running from my problems.'

My eyes quickly look over Bucky, he didn't look mad or upset. I don't say anything as I step out into the walk way outside.

"Don't stay out too long, I want to talk to you." Bucky calls from behind me. I look at him over my shoulder.

"Fine, I'll be back in an hour." I agree with no hesitation, despite the actual anxiety I was feeling. Following Erica, who had already started walking ahead of me, we make our way to the bar.

'Too bad alcohol doesn't work on me.'


	29. Chapter 29

**Arabella**

I wasn't back in an hour, no I had stayed an extra two instead. This was me avoiding and eluding. If we didn't talk about it I didn't have to worry about it. That was the lie I told myself to feel better, even though it was clear it made it worse. Even Erica had left, she gave me a weird look when I didn't go with her.

I did what I always did and just sat in the bar nursing a useless drink. The only reason I left is because I knew I had to face him eventually. I couldn't sit in this bar for the whole trip. Now I was standing in front of the door to our guesthouse, working up the courage to open the door.

'Stop being such a wuss, go in already.'

My thoughts commanded me, I roll my eyes at myself. Did I really need to give myself a pep talk? Shaking my nerves off I open the door, it was dark in the living room, I close the door behind me and walk toward the bedroom.

"It's been three hours." Bucky announces abruptly.

I stop my walk to the room and move my body to face him, he was sitting on the couch. He was leaned back on to the sofa and his arms crossed. I could see a look of angry on his face through the dim lights outside, the room was lit up and it confirmed his angry.

"I lost track of time, sorry." I push it off, trying not to make it a big deal.

"That's a damn lie and you know it." Bucky stands from his spot and runs his hand though his hair. "I am trying Arabella, I'm trying to make this work and not to be upset about these things. But it seems like you don't even want to fix this, you just keep pushing me away."

My breath gets caught in my throat. I don't know how to respond to that, this was the first time he called me out on it. Not that I didn't want to fix it, but that I was pushing him away. I try to answer him the best I could.

"I'm just. I don't know. I'm sorry." I shake my head, clasping my hands together.

"Stop apologizing, that's not fixing it. You do know, come on Arabella. What? Do you want me to stop training S.H.I.E.L.D. agents? Do you want me to not go out at all?"

"No that's not-"

"Then what is it that you want from me? Because I will do anything for us to be okay." He's pacing around the room now, desperation in him.

'I don't deserve him. This is too much, I've done enough damage it's time to be done.'

My eyes start to water and I swallow the lump in my throat. I watch Bucky as he looks at me with sadness, desperation, and love. I sit on the couch and put my head in my hands, rubbing my face a few times I stop and look at him through my fingers. He's still in the same position.

"I can't do this to you. You shouldn't have to put up with any of this. We have to be through now before it gets worse than it is. It's enough, you've had enough." I declare, conviction firm in my words.

Bucky's eyes light up and in two large steps he is in front of me, taking me by the arms and making me stand up.

"Oh no, that's not fair. You don't get to make me love you, put me through this and then tell me when _I've_ had enough. That's not a decision you get to make." Passion in his eyes tell me he believes every word. Tears trial down my face and he takes one hand away from my arm to wipe the tears.

"We are going to make this work. We'll talk about the things that have been putting this barrier between us." It's not a suggestion or plea, it's a command. I can't do anything but nod to him, really not wanting to leave him in the first place and very happy that he didn't let me too.

Bucky takes a seat on the couch again and pulls me down with him, turning me to make sure that I was in his direction. He runs his fingers across his chin and sighs.

"Let's start with why you have been staying out long and not coming home when you should be." Bucky starts, facial expression telling me to answer.

Biting my lip for a minute, I release it once I find what to say. "I know that I have been getting mad lately and it's been very tense, I just wanted to save you from a fight by staying out."

"I thought that was why." He states drily. "I'd much rather be fighting with you then not know where you are for hours, I get worried."

"So do I Bucky, you don't come home till 1:00 in the morning, I don't know what to think." I shoot back to him, wanting to know it was the same for me.

"I know, I only started doing it because you were doing it. I went to Steve's and didn't tell you. It was wrong of me, just wanted you to know how I felt." He explains rationally.

Shame fills me, I thought that he was messing around when he was just at Steve's.

'Just like the phone calls and text.'

Shame an obvious thing on my face, Bucky changes it to the next part.

"I want to know where you go when you don't come home." The tone of the question was rougher then when he asked the first one.

'He had his doubts about me too.'

"It depends on the day, if its lunch with Pepper then I stay at the food place for a few more hours. If its training with Erica then I keep going with her longer, or I go and work out by myself."

Relief floods his features, and he closes his eyes for a second a small smile spreads on his face. He nods a few times to me.

"I want to explain this to you, and I really don't want you to say anything till you heard it all." I say to him, wanting to tell him the source of all of this fighting. Bucky stares at me questioningly, giving me the go ahead to speak. "Right. Since you got the call from Agent Rule," He opens his mouth to speak, I hold a hand up stopping him. "I had been feeling insecure, and that's not your fault. That was all me, I let myself feel that way about nothing. So eventually every little thing had to be a girl that you found somehow, and all I could think was how she must be so much better than me."

"Arabella-"

"Wait I'm not done." I interrupt him, ready to say the hardest thing for me. "I am just so afraid that you'll see how messed up I am and that there are girls out there who can give you more with less baggage. I don't want you to leave me, but I am broken and everything that I shouldn't be. I am not the same girl you fell in love with." I finish in a small voice, looking at the ground. I feel Bucky move my head back up and I let hm. He looks seriously into my eyes.

"Same girl I fell in love with? Ara I didn't fall in love with a type of you, I fell I love with you; all of you, no matter what changes you go through." That brings a minuscule smile to my face, Bucky gives me one in return. "You're not the only one who has been through it with Hydra. I worry that you'll see it, I have insecurities too." I lift my hand to his face and trace circles with my thumb.

"You're perfect to me." I assure him, a loving tone strong.

"Why can't you see it's the same way for me?" He shoots back. I chuckle at that, and nod; understanding his struggle.

"I can't promise you that I'm going to be better right away, but I can promise that I'll try harder and stop avoiding the situation."

"Okay, and I'll try too." He offers, I move my hand from his face to his hair, liking the way it felt between my fingers. I had missed touching him and being so close to him. Emotions flooded through me, longing, need, and love. I lean into him and bring his face down to mine, locking our lips together. He pulls me closer to him by the small of my back, making our chest touch.

I pull my lips away from his to breath. "Can you just hold me tonight?" I whisper to him, hand still in his hair.

"Anything you want love." He tells me, moving to get up from the couch, picking me up and taking me to our room. He lays me down on the bed and gets beside me, cuddling me into his arms. I was facing him, tracing the features of his face lightly, and trying to memorize everything about him.

Bucky's eyes stayed locked on my face, his fingers drawing circles into my back. This was the closet we had been in a long time.

The tips of my fingers reach his cheek, and his eyes close as he leans into my touch. I close mine too, letting my body rest and enjoy the moment.


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you for the reviews, I love to read your thoughts about my work. Please continue to review!**

 **–** **Hannahg**

 **Bucky**

I open my eyes immediately when I feel Arabella's hand go limp against my cheek. She had fallen asleep. I was perfectly happy with the way the night had ended, me in her arms, her in mine. She is the love of my life and if she thought that I would let her just leave me with nothing, she was crazy.

Arabella has the misconception that she is too broken for me, that there is some better than her. That I even want to find another person. She was the only one for me, no matter what happens. It doesn't seem to get to her that she is the light of my life; the reason I keep going.

I would do anything to keep her. I'd give up all the things of S.H.I.E.L.D. I'd toss my phone, live in the most remote place in the world. I would fight with her every day, and kiss her before we went to sleep. As long as I had her then all the other things didn't matter.

I was as afraid as she was to lose what we had. I had nightmares and memories of the torture from Hydra, ugly scars, times when my dark side was too much to handle. Yet she never seemed to be upset with my outburst or anger. I was provoking the fighting too, but she still blamed it all on herself. Arabella would blame it on her kinks, and think that all of my reactions were solely based on her.

There were many times that I had said things to her that had nothing to do with her really, or I'd see things and think that she was messing around on me. It was all a mess, one that she liked to take all the credit for. I could see her becoming distant from me and I was scared she was going to be gone soon.

When she started not coming home for hours, I had thought that she did it, she left me. Then as I sat in the living room feeing nothing, she'd would walk through the door. I can even describe the relief I felt when she did. I started to get mad at her for it too, if she would make me feel that everyday then I'd make her feel it too.

So I went to Steve's and stayed till the early hours of the morning. Most of the time just sitting on his couch watching T.V. it didn't give me the satisfaction that I thought it would, rather a bitter taste instead. I felt better when I go home and see her, even if we weren't on talking terms. Just to lay next to her was okay, but it wasn't the same as holding her to me while she slept.

Looking down at her sleeping close to me made me pull her closer. So many nights we had wasted being upset and sleeping on the opposite side of the bed. She belonged in my arms and it made a rage build inside of me at the idea of another person holding her like this.

I ignored that feeling and idea, settling in for some much needed rest. I hadn't slept well since we started fighting, and I could tell tonight I would get better rest.

* * *

"The sun feels amazing!" Arabella claimed between my legs, we were sitting on a lounge chair on the beach. I had preferred to share one with her, and she didn't protest to it.

"It does."

"Do you want to go in the water?" she asks hopefully.

"Let's go in." At my words she gets up and races to the water, immerging herself in the warm clear water. I hear her laughs and in a quick second I'm in the water with her, pulling her to me from behind. I start to lift her up.

"Bucky! What are you doing?" She questions me quickly. I lift her higher and toss her further into the water, her struggling having no effect on me. Arabella screams in surprise and I give a deep laugh at the same time. She gets up from the water, soaked head to toe. An angry playful look adorned her face, and she stalks to me, pushing me on the chest.

"I can't believe you." Turning her back to me, she crosses her arms. "Fine, I'll just swim on my own since you want to do things like that."

I chuckle at her resolve, bringing her back to me. "Don't be like that Ara, I was only having fun." I say innocently. Not answering me for a moment, she then turns around throwing her arms around my neck.

"Well it was refreshing." Her giggles telling me she wasn't actually mad.

"Arabella!" I watch as her snaps in the direction of land, I follow her gaze. Erica was standing there with Steve, both of them standing really close together.

'I will definitely talk to him about that.'

Arabella take me by my arm and leads me to them. As soon as we reach the shore, I go and greet Steve as Arabella goes to Erica.

"Steve, how you enjoying the trip so far?" A sly underlining tone in my question. His face goes red, knowing what I meant.

"Uh all good Buck, I see it's better for you."

"Yeah we worked it out last night." I assure him.

"Good thing, your like my brother but I would've kicked your ass if it kept going on." He smirks at me, he said it jokingly, but I could tell it was a serious threat.

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"Bucky." Ara called to me, I look at her she was standing not a foot away with her arm locked with Erica's. "Erica and I are going into the water, you both can join us if you want." With that they went in the water, going until it was deep enough for them to sit comfortably in the water.

"Should we join them?" Steve asks.

"Yes we should." Steve goes first, me following behind. He stops when he reaches Erica's side. I make my way to Arabella and take a hold her hand; relaxing in the water too.

After about an hour we all got hungry and made our way to eat at one on the restaurants, coincidentally the whole group that came had just gotten a table there.

"Hey guys, you can come sit with us." Pepper invited us instantly. We all took seats and I looked around the table. Natasha and Bruce were in there own world talking in what seemed to be a deep conversation. Pepper and Tony arguing playfully. Steve and Erica flirting both with a small blush. And then Ara and I.

'Okay I see what Pepper did here.'

She had practically set it up like a couples vacation, I wasn't exactly sure on the Bruce and Natasha relationship, but it was safe to assume they were at least good friends.

"This trip is turning out to be amazing." Arabella said, making me turn to her. She was a beauty, beach hair, red rosy cheeks tinted by the sun. A content smile on her full lips. I couldn't have planned a better trip myself.

"It is amazing, I'm glad that we talked about everything." I confess earnestly. A grin breaks out onto her face and she takes my hand in hers.

"I'm glad we talked too."


	31. Chapter 31

**Arabella**

We spent most of the night talking and joking with the group, even after we had all finished dinner. It was an agreed decision to go to the beach and see it in florescence, by this time it was night. I was excited to see the beach at night, the night before I hadn't seen much except for the bar and the room.

At the beach once again, Bucky and I took the same position we did the first time, only I was the one asking to sit like this. I have been feeling an overwhelming need to be close to him lately, and I could tell it was the same for him, he always found a reason to touch me or hold me.

I leaned into him as much as I could, turning my body so my ear was on him, listening to him speak through his chest. It was muffled, but sounded louder at the same time. I could hear his heart beating and it was comforting, I felt it could put me to sleep soon. He stroking my hair wasn't helping the cause either, but I wasn't going to tell him to stop.

"Arabella how do you feel about going jet skiing tomorrow?" Erica questioned me from her spot next to Steve, she took the lounge chair next to his, which was only a space away from where I was sitting.

"I'm up for it, is it going to be a group thing?"

"Yep we were just talking about it, you obviously weren't listening." Natasha shot teasingly, sitting on a beach towel closer to the water, directly in the neon sand.

"Sure wasn't, I was paying attention to Bucky's heart beat instead." I reply with no shame, I feel his grip tighten up and a kiss being placed on my head.

"Says the girl who was embarrassed to even admit she was looking for him." She remarks with a smirk.

"Well I'm not embarrassed anymore."

"I can see that. And you Erica, don't think I don't see you snuggling up with Cap." Her attentions goes to Erica, making Erica blush bashfully.

"Oh, I uh, that's not-"She stutters in a high pitched tone.

"I don't see a problem with that." Steve interjects, reaching to Erica and grabbing her hand. Natasha lets out a loud laugh.

"That happened a lot faster than I had anticipated." She says, then turns to look at the water. I chuckle at that, she was right, none of us had thought that Steve would say something that fast.

"Anyways, yes Arabella it's a group thing and will all go first thing in the morning after breakfast." Steve stated, drawing the attention away from what just happened.

"Sure Steve, first thing." I say as I burry my face into Bucky's chest, wanting to feel his warmth. I hear him answer Steve about going too, and I find that I'm drifting of to sleep. His heart beating steady and his breathing even.

The next day we did go jet skiing, we had lost track of time with and before we knew it lunch time came around. Our days seemed to go by fast, this being the third day here already. Now we only had two more days left until our return home.

I know that Bucky and I made up here, but I wasn't sure if it would follow through once we went home. I would try my best to see that it did, but I don't want to disappoint him or myself if they aren't. Deciding not to worry about it for now, I forget the notion and enter the lunch conversation.

"The plan for the rest of the time here is, we go out on a boat and snorkeling tomorrow, then the last day relax and get ready to head home." Pepper told Natasha, who had inquired about our plans. Everyone else listened in too, knowing it was good to have an understanding about what was going on.

"How does the boat thing work? Is someone going to drive it for us, or can we do it on our own?" Tony questioned quickly after her statement.

"Well I think we can get away with doing it on our own."

"Great then I'm driving." He finished, sitting back in his chair and taking a gulp of his drink.

"No one was going to fight with you on that anyways." Steve retorted with annoyance.

"As long as he doesn't kill us." I add half serious. Tony looked at me with a wink.

"I'll try not to, no promises thought just so I won't be liable if something does happen."

"Don't worry Stark some of us won't die that easily." Bucky spoke up finally contributing to the conversation. It was one of the first time that he has, besides a yes or a no answer. Being able to see that he was feeling more comfortable with the people close to us was great.

Although it had taken some time before he even got to this place, if it had been a couple of months ago he wouldn't have even spoken up in anyway, unless he was directly asked a question. With him working at S.H.I.E.L.D., eating with everyone regularly, and going on this was easy to see why he would step out of his comfort zone.

"That is correct, plus we'd be there to save those who do." Tony replied simultaneously taking ahold of Peppers hand. She smiled largely, they too had come a long way from when she left him. Tony kept to his promises to love her, and Pepper wasn't so against him working on projects.

With this trip everything seemed to be falling together. Even Steve had admitted to something with Erica, on a normal day he would've held his tongue. Maybe she meant a lot more than we had originally thought.

I feel Bucky's hand on my back, it was a response to Tony's words. I leaned over to him.

"You know that I don't need saving Bucky." He peered down at me an amused smile on his face.

"I know, doesn't mean that I won't save you." I scoff light heartedly.

'Doesn't mean I'll let you, not if you're the one who'll suffer.'

I kept that thought to myself, I didn't want to ruin the atmosphere that we had. He could try and save me, but I wouldn't need it if he wasn't there or he would be hurt. That would absolutely destroy me more than any physically harm that could get to me.

"I am going to order some shots, I know it won't affect three people at this table, but doesn't mean the rest of us can't enjoy it thoroughly. On the upside we have someone to take care of us." Erica said as she motioned for a waiter. Watching all of the able people get drunk was going to be the highlight of the day.

'This will definitely be a fun night.'


	32. Chapter 32

**So I decided to write a chapter that gives more insight about Erica and a little about her and Steve's relationship. Let me know how you like it and thanks for reviewing! – Hannahg**

 **Erica**

Being a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent I have had to do a lot of things. Some more than willing, others I'd rather not say. When I first started being an agent, it was basically my dream job. I had been recruited from my old job with the FBI. S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't approach you in a normal way, or even present the information of the position your being offered. They simply explained that I had been under watch and that they thought I would make a good fit for their agency.

Previously being an Agent of another government position, I had heard many rumors about what S.H.I.E.L.D. did, some say that they were a conspiracy, others that they did hush jobs that the world wasn't supposed to know about. Who knew that others would be correct?

It wasn't unheard of that people would be offered positions and, if they accepted, would disappear from the face of the earth. Of course this fact only made me curious to see exactly what I could be with S.H.I.E.L.D. So with a week of thinking I accepted their proposal and left to be put in a facility for further training.

At that time I was single, and happy to be. I didn't want to be weighed down by anyone, as I was trying to advance in my career. I wasn't one to easily fall in love, due to the fact that my parents had been my only example, and their relationship was nothing but pain.

When I had met Ray he was so different from the rest. Caring and sweet, I had met him on a task in Florida. We had hit it off and eventually went steady for a while. It was the perfect relationship and I had thought that he had proved to me that there could be people that weren't like my parents.

I ended up being sorely mistaken. I had stayed in Florida for about three months at the time when I found out I was pregnant. Ray being a sweet guy I thought that he would accept our child. It turns out that he felt he wasn't ready for that kind of relationship or commitment, and he left me the very next day; claiming he needed to find himself and enjoy being young.

As if that whole situation wasn't bad enough, S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't too fond of an agent getting into a relationship while on the job and then getting pregnant. So they gave me desk duty, partly to punish me and partly because of me new status of being a mother.

I was surprise that they didn't let me go on the spot, and I had even questioned it. Apparently despite my unethical relationship, my field work as outstanding and my skills with computer hacking and likewise things were hard to come by. Plus I had known exactly what S.H.I.E.L.D. did; they didn't want to risk a leak. Even if I had signed a confidentiality agreement.

I was pushing paper for about a six months until I had given birth to my son Caleb, then they had given me two months of maternal leave. During that time I had worked out a schedule for work and my son, looking for long term baby sitters who could come on a moment's notice.

I got back to work at the end of the two months and stayed pushing paper for about a year. When I finally got back on to the field I was relieved to be done with a desk. Caleb had his baby sitter Haley to watch him, but I wasn't sent on missions that lasted more than a day.

One day I had just gotten home from a difficult task, when there was a knock on my front door. Standing there was Ray. He had found me by asking for my whereabouts from his boss; he had been a part of the NSA.

Ray came back saying that he was ready to settle down and be in our son's life, and mine. I could accept it, I was fine without him, living the way that I wanted to. I didn't want for him to be with me, or love me. At this point I was past that, I no longer held any love for him. Not when he had abandoned me so selfishly when I needed him.

One thing I would never do was deprive my child from a parent, even if I didn't love said parent. So I agreed to share custody and plan weekends for Ray to see his child but Ray always seemed to want something more than that with me. I ignored that as best as I could, even if I found it annoying.

When I had first met Arabella, I had thought that she was the craziest person. Sparing with me and two other agents for a whole night. Eventually she grew on me, her fighting skills impeccable, I had a lot to learn from her.

Then we were taken by Hydra and I was forced to do something I had never done before. Kill someone. I can't say that it didn't affect me or I completely understand why I had to do it, all I knew was I had to get to my son. I had to protect his life. Arabella saved me then, and she helped me in the after math of our actions. It was easy to tell it hadn't been her first time doing that, but I didn't question her.

S.H.I.L.E.D had already made me aware of her past and everything that was in it. Well at least what they were aware of. We were saved from hydra and I had finally been able to get some sleep on the helicopter. When I awoke the first person I saw was Captain America. Imagine waking up to a hero that you only heard about on T.V or rumors around the office.

He helped me get back to my son, and I had made sure that we had everything we needed. From then on it had been a normal thing for him to show up at my house. Caleb loved him and always asked when he was coming back.

I didn't know when it happened or how it did, but I fell in love with him. The way he laughed and smiled. The way he held me hand, and especially the way he was with Caleb. Steve hadn't told me of any feelings for me, not until we had gone on the vacation.

He had surprised me with deflecting Natasha's teasing and grabbing a hold of my hand. Although I was taken aback, I did not tell him otherwise. I had already fallen in love with him, even if the struggle to let myself feel like that towards him had been great. With that he had confronted me with his feelings and we agreed to take it slow, and try it out.

He knew of my past with my Ex and I knew he hadn't had much experience with love. That's why now we were having a quite dinner alone, Caleb staying over a friend's house.

"So Steve, how are you liking your dinner?" I ask, as he cuts into his steak. He take a bit and hums in affirmation. Swallowing quickly he speaks.

"I love your cooking, I didn't think anyone could cook as good as my sister but you really know how to make a great meal." I smile and nod at his answer, sipping on my wine. His eyes locked wit mine and he seemed to think about something hard before speaking.

"I was thinking, and don't feel obligated to say yes, but I was thinking that we, You, Caleb and I could all go to one of my favorite spots and make a day of it?" he looked like he was nervous about my reply, bracing himself for a decline.

"Of course, I would love that and I'm sure Caleb will too." I answer immediately, really happy he wanted to share a favorite spot with us. Steve reached over the table and grabbed ahold of my hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

I didn't know what the future held for us, but I did know that Steve Rogers was a choice I could never regret.


	33. Chapter 33

**Arabella**

Being back from our trip for almost a week now, Bucky and I set into a good routine. I didn't stay out for hours when I knew I should go home, and he didn't go to Steve's till 1:00 am. Steve would never tell anyone or say it, but I was positive that he was glad for it too. With his relationship with Erica growing, he would want an empty place just for the two. Maybe three if her son was going to be with her that weekend.

So far things between Bucky and I were good, we hadn't fought yet, and we actually were enjoying each other. I had held my tongue when I felt like saying something out of place or something that I knew would spark a fight. It wasn't often that I just shut up and smiled, and even when I did it was only over the things that weren't important. Bucky had never given me a reason to be upset anyways, it was just me and what I think I saw.

Right now it was the morning meaning Bucky was gone to train S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents. I couldn't train with Natasha or Erica because they were both sent to do field work. Pepper was going to be in meetings all day so I couldn't meet with her for lunch. I decided not to go out anywhere, instead I was cleaning up the apartment.

The music was on loud and I was mopping the kitchen when I look over at the counter and see that Bucky had left his phone.

'Crap, I wonder if I should take it to him.'

I check and see that the time is 11:32. He would be coming home at 2:00.

'Well it wouldn't hurt to just go and see him.'

Having already made my choice, I quickly finish mopping and grabbed my things. I made it to the office, not being stopped as usually. I went opposite of where Erica and I sparred, and found the room that I had seen only in passing. Sure enough Bucky was in there, but he wasn't just on the side lines watching them train.

It looked like he was showing an agent how to properly perform a hit. I knew that he had four students, two women and two men. Right now he was teaching one of the female agents. I tried to push down the jealous I was feeling at watching him do so.

'Don't do that, it's his job.'

Opening the door to the room, all of the people in the room turned to me. I give the Agents a tight smile. Bucky immediately stops what he is doing and a grin comes to his face as he approaches me. The agent that he was training has a faint look of disappointment as he leaves her. She looks me up and down with a distastefulness.

'This bitch is not.'

Abruptly a bright smile comes to her face and she waves at me with friendliness.

'Maybe I was imagining things, I can take things too much sometimes.'

I smile back at her, and then turn my eyes to Bucky who was now standing in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" He asks with happiness. I take his phone from my pocket and hold it out to him.

"You left your phone, and it was going to be a few more hours so I decided to bring it to you." He looked down at the device and took it from my hands. He brings the hand that was holding his phone up to his lips, and places a soft kiss on it.

"Thank you love, I'm glad you did." He says against my hand. A blush spreads across my face, and I let out a small your welcome. I was okay with public displays of affection around people who really knew us, not agents that he was training.

Our stuck gazes were interrupted.

"Hey! Agent Barnes, who is this?" The same women agent came up to us on the side. Bucky brings my hand down from his mouth but keeps holding it. His face was one of annoyance, but he answered anyways.

"Agent Rule, this is Arabella Barnes, my wife." Her faces falls slightly, but she picks herself up quickly, offering a hand to me.

"It's nice to meet you Arabella. First name is Jessica." I shake her hand, letting a polite smile grace my face.

"Nice to meet you too." Bucky turns to the other agents in the room and calls them over.

"Arabella this is Agents Kent, York, and Scott." We all say our polite hellos, they seemed to be very professional. Just as a person should act when meeting a teacher's spouse. I wasn't going to read too much into Agent Rule; I didn't want to make myself jealous or upset when there wasn't anything there to begin with. It could just be her personality.

"Arabella?" I hear a voice call as the door behind me squeaks open. Swiftly moving my body to look at the person who called, in see its Agent Taylor.

"Hey Taylor, aren't you and Erica supposed to be on an assignment?" I asks curiously. A cocky smile comes on his face, the same one that he puts on right before he was about to brag. I knew it well from the many times that he had beaten Erica which always lead to bragging.

"We were but I took care of that fast, so now were back. We heard you came in and wanted to see if you were up for a spar?" I rolled my eyes at his first remark.

"You mean Erica did all the brain work and you like to take credit for the whole thing?" a cheeky look thrown at me. "Yeah. Well I am up for a spar, I'll be there in 10." I finished, actually really psyched that both of them were open to fight at the same time.

I remember Bucky and the other Agents in the room and I suddenly feel bad for not introducing them as soon as Taylor walked in.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I pull Taylor in the room and introduce him down the line. "Agent Taylor this is Agents Rule, Kent, York and Scott. And this is my husband Bucky." I said the last part, mocking Bucky a little. From his good humored laugh, I could see that he already knew why I said it the way that I did.

"Great to meet you all, I'm going to head to the other practice room now. I'll see you in 10 Arabella." He shot his hand out in goodbye as he left the room. There was a short silence before Jessica was the one to break it.

"Isn't it weird that an agent is calling you by your first name? I mean I heard that you're a teacher for those agents." She states a little too innocently. I give her a smirk that I only reserve for questions that I found extremely evasive or nosey.

"It's not weird when you've kicked said agents ass too many times to count. Plus we don't really consider me a teacher, more that we learn from each other." I explain with ease and a shrug. Before she could comment further Bucky interjected saying that the agents should get back to training. They move back to their original positions before I came in, and Bucky turned back to me with a smile.

"I really am glad you showed up, but I got to get back to work." I nod in understanding. "I'll see you at home, don't spar with those agents too long." He states, quickly giving me a hug and a kiss goodbye. With him walking back to train, I also turn to the door and exit. I peer back in the room once last time and see Jessica staring at Bucky with a look I can't quite explain. Suddenly her gaze turns to me, and it morphs into a glare.

Taken by surprise I only stare in shock. She wasn't definitely not as innocent as I had thought. Maybe I would have to watch out for her. Pulling my eyes away from her glare I head to the practice room that I used. I was going to have to keep an eye on Jessica.

'Wait. No, I'm just going to trust Bucky. Mistrust is what gets me in trouble.'

Well that didn't mean I had to trust her.

* * *

Thank you for the reviews, I apologize for the delayed updating; I took an unexpected vacation. Please let me know how you like this chapter!


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